So it's late and I'm sitting here wanting to blog something but not really sure of what I want to say. Funny thing though, as I got on to see if anyone had commented I found out 1) I have a new follower...YAY!!! Not only do I stalk but I love to be stalked also! Welcome Stacy! No wait, not that you are a stalker but I love to be read 2) I really love all the songs on my playlist. Just in case you didn't know, each song was hand selected by me as a song that truly has significance to me, whether it's that it brings back a memory, I can play it or its just poignant to me. I love LOVE music so this little playlist you hear as you read my blog is actually a little piece of my heart. If you ever want to know what one of the songs mean to me or why it was included, just ask me. Maybe someday I'll just make a list of each one with an explanation. Who knows.

Also, gotta tell you just in case I hadn't announced it to the everyone, my mom's biopsy results came back negative. AMEN! We were concerned she was having a recurrence of breast cancer in a different form (Paget's) but it turns out it is nothing and I cannot even begin to type how very very much I am relieved. It took over two weeks to get the results, with several phone calls from me to the doctors office, to mom, back to the doctors office, to my sisters, to the doctors office, to mom....but we got them.

Ok, I'm off. Quick update for you and a resurrection of the smile list
1. Good music
2. The end of a Monday
3. Connecting with old friends
4. Making new friends
5. Happy children

So…it’s been awhile. I find it really hard to post a blog when I’m down. I sometimes feel compelled to make an entry (hence my last one) but I’d prefer to wait until I feel better in my head and heart. I’m not sure why, maybe it would make me feel better if I just blogged through it. Or maybe I would just prefer to muddle through it in my own way by myself. Who knows – I’m just weird.

A lot has happened in the last week. A lot that really makes one look at the big picture and realize what is important. Robbie’s boss shot and killed himself last Friday. Very, very sad. Rob took it pretty hard, I think. More than he let on. I feel bad for the guy’s family and what he left behind. Two daughters and a wife. Many friends. I never got to meet him but it makes me so sad to think about it. Do they wonder if they could’ve helped him in any way? Do they wonder if they could’ve stopped it? What pushed him to that point? Did he not feel loved anymore? He brought tomatoes to Robbie on Wednesday because he knew I love tomatoes. I had a really hard time eating those tomatoes.

Anyway – a few weeks back Elizabeth anointed me with a blog award – an “I love you this much” Award. No, E – I didn’t forget. I’ve just been contemplating how to handle the fact that I only know three bloggy people. And the truth of the matter is, they all would deserve an “I love you this much” Award from me. And I know of a few others that would deserve it from me but do not keep a blog. Therefore, I – once again – am breaking the rules of the blogdom empire and I’m giving my awards to those I truly love, but not all have blogs.

First – Stef. My big sister. I love her truly. I feel over the last several years we’ve gotten closer than we’ve ever been and for that, I am truly grateful. Stef, you can post your award on your blog!

Second – Bebe. My other big sister. I love her truly, also. We finish each other’s sentences and think very much alike.

Third – Randy. My big brother. I love him truly, as well. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Randy will someday make his impact in this world and it will be huge!

I love all three of my siblings without boundaries. There are no words to express the sheer perpetuity of the love I have or how loved I feel from all three and it keeps me going. I love them all equally but differently, for they are all very different people.

Fourth – My parents. They have been the biggest blessing in my life that I can name. My biggest fans, my champions and my support system. They are the reason that Stef, Bebe, Randy and I are the people we are – which in my personal opinion – we are pretty awesome people. And there is no one else in this world that I would rather spend time with than my mom, my dad or my siblings.

Fifth – My husband. One of the most understanding, patient and kind people I have ever known. How he can put up with me some days, I have no idea. But he does, and he loves me. I have never been more secure in someone’s love (besides God of course) that wasn’t blood related to me. I truly, truly thank God for him every single day. Except those days when I want to pull off my shoe and throw it at him, but that would not be his fault. That would be me and my bad mood and I know that. Well, maybe sometimes it’s his fault, but rarely.

Sixth – and this is a grouping together – My friends. I have four friends whom I feel are TRUE friends. Friends that I can tell most anything to. Friends that, if need be, besides my sisters, I could call in the middle of the night with a terrible problem and they would do one of three things. A. Cry with me. B. Drive to me and hug me. C. Listen. Truly listen. None would be mad for me calling in the wee hours, none would hang up and all would be compassionate. Friends that know if they need to call me in the wee hours, they can. And I would do A, B o C or all three. Friends that rather than me calling them to bail me out of jail, they would be sitting next to me saying - dang, that was fun! They are Chris, Carrie, Elizabeth and Susan.

How very blessed I am.

So here it is! The I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH AWARD!!!

I have been advised to keep my blog happy and funny instead of maudlin and intense. In response to said recommendation, it will depend upon my mood as to if a funny and happy blog is recorded. As we’ve already established, my mood is not always chipper and positive. But I’m working on it. I really am.

I have been banned from going to a few places close to work during lunchtime because if I frequent these preferred merchandisers during my half-hour of midday freedom, I am always late. Always. So I have to go after work. Yesterday, it was The Goodwiller. Go with me here – you’ll understand the -er in a moment. That’s the funny part. I sometimes shop at the Goodwiller since the kids grow out of pants in an hour. And for this reason, I also refuse to spend a ton of money on jeans. I can save a lot of money and buy gently used brand name stuff and the most expensive piece of clothing I bought was $6 and it was for Ambercrombie pants. Ta Da!

The Goodwiller is also full of other good stuff and I love to just roam around, look at all the junk (ahem) good stuff. Sometimes they have really good stuff and it’s new! Store tags on still!!

So yesterday, I am just meandering up and down the aisles and I’m thinking to myself, I love the Goodwiller. And that got me thinking. Why do I call it Goodwiller? I think it is my mom’s fault. So I called my mom. Here’s the conversation. Keep in mind this is over the “loud speaker” while my dad is in the background talking on his cellphone on his “loud speaker” and my sister is there texting me dirty messages that really come out not dirty because her predictive text changes dirty words to clean words. FYI: Sabrina is Bebe. I (Catrina) am Babe.

Bebe: BABE. Where are you? Are you coming over to moms?
Babe: No I’m not coming over to moms, I was at the Goodwiller and I am on my way home now.
Bebe: Didn’t you get my message?
Babe: What message? Did you text?
Bebe: No, I sent you an e-mail.
Babe: What time?
Bebe: Hell-O. 4:30!
Babe: I didn’t get it.
Bebe: Maybe you should get your e-mail more often.
Babe: I got it as I was leaving at FIVE and there were not ANY messages from you.
Bebe: I got Outlook now. Why do all your e-mails ask for a read receipt?
Babe: I have it set up that way.
More conversation on the read receipt and why I have it set up that way and why do I even bother when the reader can say NO.
Bebe (to Aunt Emma on dad’s cell phone): Hi Aunt Emma.
Aunt Emma: HI Sabrina
Babe (to Aunt Emma on dad’s cell phone): Hi Aunt Emma.
Aunt Emma: WHAT?
Dad: That was Catrina, she says Hi.
Aunt Emma: OH HI Catrina.
Babe: How are you?
Silence.
Silence.
Babe: Hello?
Babe: Hello?
End Call

TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM BEBE CELL: DITCH.
TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM MOM CELL: 636577****
TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM MOM CELL: Citch bunt. (Obviously penned by Bebe)

Ring Ring:
Bebe: Why did you hang up on me?
Babe: I didn’t hang up on YOU. I hung up after I couldn’t hear anything
Bebe: Did you get my text message?
Babe: Yes I did. You can go ‘sips’ up a rope.
Bebe: Did you get moms text message?
Babe: Yep, She’s going to make me a bunt cake.
Bebe (to mom) NOW she thinks you’re going to make her a bunt cake.
Mom: I don’t even know HOW to text. That wasn’t from me.
Bebe: So where are you?
Babe: I was at the Goodwiller.
Bebe: Why were you at the Goodwill?
Babe: Buying jeans for Lizzie and Sam.
Bebe: Hopefully it wasn’t any of the pants I just gave to Goodwill.
Babe: Me too. Why do we call it the Goodwiller? Who started that?
Bebe: I don’t call it the Goodwiller.
Mom: I don’t remember. I think it was Sam. NO wait, it was Lizzie. NO wait! It was you [Babe] that started it. I overheard you one day talking to John (our old dog) who was being bad or something (probably crapped in the family room again) and you told him if he wasn’t good, mom was going to give him to the Goodwiller.

Conversation went on from there. I think there was more conversation within this dialog, but the gist of the entire thing – it took me two phone calls (actually three because Bebe hung up on me trying to get me on the speaker phone), three texts and about 15 minutes to get the answer to my question.

SMILES:

Anticipation of the LONG weekend!
Photos.
Family.
Good days.
Tater tots.

So I use my blog mostly for just getting my thoughts out there for myself but also to anyone who by happenstance stumbles upon my pages. Or for my mother or my sister or my uncle. I really didn't think anyone else paid much attention. And I don't know all things blog-worthy but apparently I've been TAGGED. My friend Elizabeth recently started blogging and I think she has more posts in a month than I've put on here since 2004. Way to show me up there, E. Anyway, so before I get to the tagging, I guess I better update my stuff.

On Tuesday, April 15th, my mom fell and broke her leg in 3 places. We thought she was going to get to go home within a day or two, but that was before we realized the extent of the problem. After a 2 hours surgery, the doctor came out to talk to us. He had put in 6 pins/screws and a plate on one side and 2 pins/screws one the other. She also completely dislocated the foot so the tendons were pretty well torn up. She was in the hospital until that Friday, April 18th where she was moved to an Extended Care Facility with extensive rehab and therapy. She finally got to come home yesterday but not without some pretty big restrictions and alterations to her home life. A lift was put in off the back deck since she has a split foyer home, she has a bedside commode, a hospital bed and a walker in the living room along with a wheelchair. She won't be able to put any weight on her foot for another five weeks while the bones grow around the pins and plate. On top of this, we found out she is osteoporitic so she has to be even more careful. She just got done with Radiation therapy for her breast cancer and know this. Sheesh. [REMOVED]

And through this whole ordeal I think I've grown so very much closer to my sister Sabrina. Bebe - this is for you. In the last two weeks I've learned alot about you and feel we are closer now than we ever have been. Your compassion and your generousity to those around you is amazing - although I knew that part already. Your self-sacrificing for your family is something I try to mimic but I fear fall way short. And you were right when you said we never fought growing up. Have we ever at all? I love our competitive banter - to others I think it appears we are arguing or getting "catty" but we truly aren't. I think that's just another way we say we love each other. You see things in people and in the world that I don't always see and I think because of your giving nature, people open up to you and feel they can befriend you and have a completely unconditional friendship - and they are right. But you are also able to say what needs to be said when it needs to be said and I admire you for that. You know (and I quote, again) - "It is NOT our fault that she is mad at you!" That was a great day for me because I realized then that she is still there. You know, that little girl inside wondering if I'll ever make it to never-never land that still wants so very much to be like her big sister. ILYVM.

So now - I've been tagged. I have no idea what that means but here's what I'm supposed to do (and yes, I copied and pasted this right from your blog Elizabeth)

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up. (That means when I finish this post, I'm supposed to let Eliabeth know by making a comment on her blog, so she knows to come read mine.)

First - her link is on the left column.
Second - I think I already did the rules above???
Third - Six Random Things About Me. Mine aren't going to be quite as long and desciptive as my friend's Elizabeth are but hey, I'm trying to maintain a good work ethic here, too.
1. I would love to travel to Rome, Italy. I watched that movie, Under The Tuscan Sun once with Diane Lane - had to buy it and watched it alot since then. I think if it were just me, no kids or anything, I would so buy a villa!
2. I worked at Papa Johns once for four hours. That's how long I lasted. I made it through Kentucky Fried Chicken for four days. My current job of almost 10 years is the one I wish would be put out of it's misery but not before I find a newer better version!
3. I have many friends but few I trust implicitly. I think I probably have three people that know almost everyting about me - Robbie, Chris and Bebe.
4. My pet peeves are: slow drivers in the fast lane, women who put on their make-up in the car in the rearview mirror (or the guys who shave with their electric shavers), people who act like they know something when they really don't, bullies, cheats, liars and thieves.
5. I don't do malls. I HATE shopping. Well, maybe I like it when I get to hang out with Bebe but other than that, NOT.
6. There is no kind of music I dislike. Although I tease my husband and pretend his showtunes gag me, I secretly like them. And if you tell him that, I'll beat you up.

And now, I'm supposed to tag someone with a blog but I don't know anyone outside of my Aunts whom I know will not be compliant, and Elizabeth, who tagged me. How about I list the people I wish had a blog that I could tag?!
1. Bebe - yep, you all knew that one was coming.
2. Mom
3. Uncle Walter

So there ya go, a long overdue blog. I wish I had something as compelling as the goose story. I'll try better next time. Pray for my mom.