I know, I know. It's been a while. Christmas has come and gone - actually, I think Thanksgiving has come and gone since the last I posted. I apologize. I've just been crazy busy. Every time started a post, I got sidetracked and never finished so instead of posting a half-done post, I just delete it and figure I'll get another one done someday. I guess today is my someday.

I did get my calendars done for everyone. I think they were a hit, as they usually are. I loved doing them this year and I put alot of extra time into them doing extra things but it was very well worth it!!

Boys are here with their friend Ryan. It has been an absolute blessing to have them all here. Plus Lizzie's friend Tabby spent this weekend with us so though we have a house full of kids, both Robbie and I are enjoying every minute of it. We actually talked about it last night and wished we could've had more kids, especially together.

Robbie took me to see Jeff Dunham last night at the Family Arena. If you don't know who he is, you HAVE to check him out. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I had tears streaming down my face and the girl sitting next to me made me feel better because she apparently has a tendancy to snort while laughing hysterically also.

We're moving sometime soon...not exactly sure when though I prefer sooner rather than later. We're in negotiations with a house investor who will contact our mortgage company direct and work out a deal. We won't make any money but then we're out from under the ARM without any bad credit consequences so we're happy about that. Plus we get to move in to the house across from Stef. I have NO idea what I'm going to do with all that SPACE! To say I am excited is quite an understatement.

I'm sure I could keep posting to bring you up to date since 5 weeks ago but I'm out of time. I'll post more when I can. Besides, I want to add photos...

Some time ago I was struggling pretty hard with some issues going on in my life. I know, I know, typical of me, eh? Anyway, my usual modus operandi was to continue to struggle in my own power and just muddle through the best I could. But that wasn’t working. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and I just didn’t think I had it in me to continue. I felt I was about to break – body, mind, soul and spirit. I was on my way to work and I felt like turning my car around and going home to hide under the covers. Either that or just turning it into a ditch. So I started to pray. Hard. I knew the only thing that could bring me through this was God, but I was having a hard time praying because I just felt so completely lost. So over and over in my head I just said “God, I do not have the strength to do this anymore.” And there, right in front of me, was a dump truck. Yes, the kind you see on the roads every day carrying their big loads of stuff. And written on the back in large letters, it said, “ The Lord is Our Strength”. Instantaneously, my tears dried, my heart lifted and I have never felt the presence of God more than in that moment. And since then, I will occasionally see “my” dump truck on the road and the amazing part is, it’s usually when I need to be reminded that God’s got my back. I bring this up because I saw “my” dump truck again this morning and following along behind it, I snapped a photo of it with my cell phone. It's not a great picture, but in times of trouble - this is my reminder. If ever the owner of this dump truck were to know what an inspiration and lifesaver his dump truck has been...

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. ~Psalm 28:7
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~Philippians 4:13

Isn't it comforting to know that God loves us and is our strength through the fire...

Rob and I took the kids to McDonalds last week after church and standing in line giving our order, I realized we’ve reached a new era in our parenting lives and I was actually deeply saddened. Neither child ordered a “Happy Meal”. My babies are growing up…

Mama, how do I cope?

Our stretch of the road has not had the best luck in producing "good" neighbors. We’ve had a man arrested for beating his wife, three children and two of their friends in a drunken stupor, we’ve had a brother of a neighbor jerk Sam from his bike by the back of his coat, we’ve had the DEA investigate a few of the houses…I could go on, but you get my point.

SO needless to say I am very leery of any new people moving in, which is usually every 6 months or so. On our side of the street at this particular stretch, we are the only family that doesn’t rent. I’m not implying that people who rent are below those who don’t or anything of the sort. I’m just saying in the last 8 years, I’ve seen many MANY types of folks move in and out of these 6 houses. Some good, some not so good.

Lizzie has befriended a little girl who is just a year older than she. Tabitha recently moved in 4 houses down with her mom and 2 sibilings. Robbie and I are usually very careful about letting either Sam or Lizzie go play at any of the 6 houses. On one occasion while playing with a child of a past tenant, Sam learned that causing a fight while drunk and subsequently getting arrested is automatically 24-hours in the hoosegow (different drunken stupor and different neighbor than the one stated above). Not exactly the sort of thing I want my kids to EVER find out, let alone when they are 11. So Lizzie’s new friend has been asking and asking if Lizzie could play. I still haven’t met the mom so I’d rather they play in our yard or at our house. Sam also has a new friend, Josh, who has moved in a few houses UP the street, also a renter district. We’ve met his mom and talked several times on the phone and they end up at one home or the other, which I’m fine with. And both kids are very polite, very sweet kids. No problems thus far. Both of them seem lonely, though.

Lately I’ve been coming home to not two kids, but four kids roaming around our house. Usually the boys are downstairs on the X-Box 360 and the girls are pestering Robbie or playing in Lizzie’s room. Somehow our house has turned in to the kid-fun house. Its fun actually and I like it. Last night was an all out pillow fight between the girls and Robbie. Josh couldn't come over but Sam was able to go play at his house.

Tabby’s mom doesn’t inquire much as to her whereabouts when she’s with us and I’ve never met her, nor has Robbie so I’ve wondered what type of home-life she has. I’m gathering from snippets of conversations that her parents are divorced, she has two younger siblings and her mom is a maid. The last few nights, she has been there as I’m getting dinner ready and I’ve invited her to eat with us since we have enough and she’s there already. The first night I had Lizzie start to set the table and as I was putting dinner on it, Tabby said “Whoa, we’re eating at the table? We’re sitting down? At the table?” And looked at me like I’d just asked her to remove her arms and sweep the floor with them. When I said, “Well. Yea!?!?” She thought that was the coolest thing she was ever going to be privy to. And she’s now had two consecutive dinners with us – I’m sure she’ll be there tonight, also. And tomorrow.

I try to get the family to sit down to dinner as many times as possible during the week which, depending on the week, can range from 0 nights to 7 nights. And lately, I’ve been pushing more for it and staying home due to economic constraints but to see a little girls’ delight at being able to sit down for a family meal was very enlightening. I believe those stories about family bonds being tied over the dinner table. And how it instills values in the kids that stay with them all their lives. And I am more than happy to help the little girl down the street, or the little boy up the street with that, even if it’s only a meal or two. Do families really not do this much anymore? Was she so in awe of the act of sitting down to dinner because her family just doesn't do it? Are they too busy? How sad to think a tradition as simple as a family dinner which could have such an impact on a young life has faded away. How like our rush-rush-gimme-it-now society to push something so influential out.

And to think I took for granted the fact that we ate supper as a family every single night of my childhood through my teens…

I love the following story. The first time I heard it I lived in Mississippi and I was having a very hard time with some things going on in my life. If you knew me back then, then I'm sure you can figure out what, or rather who, I was struggling with. I was also struggling with the fact that for the first time in my life I was living totally surrendered to God's will but could NOT for the life of me understand WHY I was going through this MESS when I was living surrendered as I was....and then I read this story. It's been a while since I read it and my wonderful friend Elizabeth e-mailed it to me a few weeks back. I thought it worth sharing, because it's very comforting to me when I get to feeling down and out that He is shining me up...

"Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to read the scriptures, and make them the subject of conversation. While reading the third chapter of Malachi they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: “And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”

One lady’s opinion was that is was intended to convey the view of the sanctifying influence of the grace of Christ. Then she proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them what he said on the subject. She went accordingly and without telling the object of her errand, begged to know the process of refining silver, which he fully described to her. “But sir,” she said, “do you sit while the work of refining is going on?” “Oh, yes, madam,” replied the silversmith; “I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured.”

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, “He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” Christ sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for them. Their trials do not come at random, and they are only as intense and last only as long as is necessary for the refining process.

As the lady was preparing to leave the shop, the silversmith concluded by saying that he knows the process of purifying is complete when he can see his own image reflected in the silver. What a beautiful example! When Christ sees His own image in His people, His work of purifying is accomplished."

Have a wonderful weekend, all!

Nerd Boy

Friday was duct tape day at school.

Remember this guy?



Didn't realize just how much he'd be missed, until I read and remembered some of the stuff he said...and stood for:

'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.'- Ronald Reagan

'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan

'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' - Ronald Reagan

'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.' - Ronald Reagan

'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.' - Ronald Reagan

'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.' - Ronald Reagan

'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.' - Ronald Reagan

'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.' - Ronald Reagan

'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.' - Ronald Reagan

'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. '- Ronald Reagan

'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' - Ronald Reagan

I am currently singing the theme to Misssion Impossible in my head...dunh dunh dunh, dunh da dunh dunh dunh. You know the one. And the reason is...well, hopefully it's not impossible, but I am A WOMAN ON A MISSION.

At the beginning of 2008, I decided I wanted to lose 100 pounds this year. Well, that was the assignment I apparently chose not to accept, because I'm down but only 12 pounds. Somehow I missed it by 88. Anyway, I have exactly one year until my 20th high school reunion. (Has it truly been THAT long??) So my assignment (should I chose to accept it) is to lose the 100 pounds by October 2009. That means I have to lose 8.33 pounds per month for the next year. And I am STOKED for it. I CAN DO THIS! I KNOW I can! I may have given up on a lot of dreams in my life but this is one I simply cannot let go and I will not let go.

So, watch out world. I have a mission and I AM ON IT!

To continue with my quotes, (mainly because I haven’t uploaded the great photo I want on here for Wordless Wednesday) I will add my most very favorite quote. Ever. Maybe because it sums up so nicely the way I feel most days.

"What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am." -Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Also, I made an award. And yes, I know my drawings are quite kindergarten, but the thought is what counts right?

So here it is – for however the recipients wish to post it.

To Stef and Bebe,

Someone asked me once if I had any friends to share
All my secrets, my joys and my grief
I explained I had all a girl could want
I have my sisters and they are all I need
~Catrina (aka Babe)

This is a quickie for now until I can post more later but I am soliciting thoughts on this...

Did anyone catch the world series game last night - or more in particular - the Patti Labelle rendition of our National Anthem? Tell me honestly if I'm the only one who thought she absolutely massacred it? I cannot stand it when singers try to make it have all those runs and notes that really do NOT belong in it. She didn't get the words right twice (Skylight instead of twilight and flight instead of fight). She has an incredible voice but man, I wanted to watch the annoying phone commercial instead of that.

OK, so I’ve done all this layout changing so I figured I’d better do an updated post, as well. Tell me how you like the new layout? Thank you to my buddy Carrie for the header image. I'm still working on placement. I'm a do-it-yourselfer html code kinda gal so forgive me if it takes a bit to get it right. Anyway, Very cool, I think. She was going for something that would remind my of my beloved place – The Lot and I think she did quite well. So tell me what you think. I think it’s cool, although I will miss the little Norman look-a-like on the right…

This week has been better than the last few. I’m still ready for this election to be over, though. I just want the right guy for the job, no matter what party, what color, what ever. It seems like people just go crazy every four years. I know the future of our country depends on which guy we choose but I also know – that no matter what – the winner will not be a surprise to God and He is ultimately in control of all of it. Yes, our economy is scary right now. But it’s not scary to God! I know not many people liked the last administration but honestly – he did a heckuva lot better job than I could’ve. And he took a lot of abuse a lot more gracefully than I would have. I would’ve thrown insults right back at all these people who think they know my job better than me. And to be honest again, no I’m not really any worse off that I was 8 years ago. Granted, I seem to be deeper in the hole that I was but the more I’ve thought about that, the more I realize it’s my own fault! I’m the one who bought a house 40 miles from my workplace. I’m the one who bought two new cars at the same time thereby gaining two new car payments when there were none, one a gas guzzling Dodge Hemi. I’m the one who refinanced my house raising my house payments by $300/ month and I’m the one who spends my money. Okay, my 401K sucks butt at the moment and I’ve lost over $2,000 more than I’ve put in it this year but it’s all relative. I only really lose money when I sell! And I don’t plan on pulling out anytime soon and I’m sure, eventually, it’ll all work out and I’ll be in the plus again. It always does. I’m just muddling through, trying to keep my head above water, which I’ve been doing since before I got married the first time in 1992. So yea, I may have a problem in June when the mortgage adjusts on my ARM but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I’m not going to steal worries from tomorrow when I have enough to worry about today. God knows what’s going on and God will take care of me, even if I have to live in a little two-story cabin in the woods.

I do have a lot better life than I did 8 years ago but that’s not due to anything government related – that’s Robbie related.

I am very, very sorry if I offend anyone. I’m not trying to do that at all! I’m just trying to make sense of it all in my own little head, which has a very hard time wrapping around all these big political ideas. Some days, I'm not so smart about some things.

This was not so much a fun blog. I probably should just keep my mouth shut next time.

So…it’s been awhile. I find it really hard to post a blog when I’m down. I sometimes feel compelled to make an entry (hence my last one) but I’d prefer to wait until I feel better in my head and heart. I’m not sure why, maybe it would make me feel better if I just blogged through it. Or maybe I would just prefer to muddle through it in my own way by myself. Who knows – I’m just weird.

A lot has happened in the last week. A lot that really makes one look at the big picture and realize what is important. Robbie’s boss shot and killed himself last Friday. Very, very sad. Rob took it pretty hard, I think. More than he let on. I feel bad for the guy’s family and what he left behind. Two daughters and a wife. Many friends. I never got to meet him but it makes me so sad to think about it. Do they wonder if they could’ve helped him in any way? Do they wonder if they could’ve stopped it? What pushed him to that point? Did he not feel loved anymore? He brought tomatoes to Robbie on Wednesday because he knew I love tomatoes. I had a really hard time eating those tomatoes.

Anyway – a few weeks back Elizabeth anointed me with a blog award – an “I love you this much” Award. No, E – I didn’t forget. I’ve just been contemplating how to handle the fact that I only know three bloggy people. And the truth of the matter is, they all would deserve an “I love you this much” Award from me. And I know of a few others that would deserve it from me but do not keep a blog. Therefore, I – once again – am breaking the rules of the blogdom empire and I’m giving my awards to those I truly love, but not all have blogs.

First – Stef. My big sister. I love her truly. I feel over the last several years we’ve gotten closer than we’ve ever been and for that, I am truly grateful. Stef, you can post your award on your blog!

Second – Bebe. My other big sister. I love her truly, also. We finish each other’s sentences and think very much alike.

Third – Randy. My big brother. I love him truly, as well. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Randy will someday make his impact in this world and it will be huge!

I love all three of my siblings without boundaries. There are no words to express the sheer perpetuity of the love I have or how loved I feel from all three and it keeps me going. I love them all equally but differently, for they are all very different people.

Fourth – My parents. They have been the biggest blessing in my life that I can name. My biggest fans, my champions and my support system. They are the reason that Stef, Bebe, Randy and I are the people we are – which in my personal opinion – we are pretty awesome people. And there is no one else in this world that I would rather spend time with than my mom, my dad or my siblings.

Fifth – My husband. One of the most understanding, patient and kind people I have ever known. How he can put up with me some days, I have no idea. But he does, and he loves me. I have never been more secure in someone’s love (besides God of course) that wasn’t blood related to me. I truly, truly thank God for him every single day. Except those days when I want to pull off my shoe and throw it at him, but that would not be his fault. That would be me and my bad mood and I know that. Well, maybe sometimes it’s his fault, but rarely.

Sixth – and this is a grouping together – My friends. I have four friends whom I feel are TRUE friends. Friends that I can tell most anything to. Friends that, if need be, besides my sisters, I could call in the middle of the night with a terrible problem and they would do one of three things. A. Cry with me. B. Drive to me and hug me. C. Listen. Truly listen. None would be mad for me calling in the wee hours, none would hang up and all would be compassionate. Friends that know if they need to call me in the wee hours, they can. And I would do A, B o C or all three. Friends that rather than me calling them to bail me out of jail, they would be sitting next to me saying - dang, that was fun! They are Chris, Carrie, Elizabeth and Susan.

How very blessed I am.

So here it is! The I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH AWARD!!!

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow. ~Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare

I have been playing the mental mindset game the last two days. You know what I mean. The one where you really really want to just shout at the top of your lungs “I HATE IT HERE!“ but you rely on the old mantra, “I love my job! I love my job! I love my job!” and just keep repeating it over and over so, hopefully, you will start to believe. It’s just been one of those weeks. But hey, I have a job and I should be thankful so I am. I think today is one of those days I need to post a smile list.

1. Good movies.
2. Good food.
3. Good friends.
4. GREAT weekends.
5. Hope.

So, I know. Short but sweet. I don’t have much time, I’m very busy at work so I’ll have to post more later. It’s not a goodbye, just a ‘til then sendoff. In the meantime…I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job….