So. Going back through my blog I realized – IT’S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR. Time flies when you’re on the downside of “over thirty”. It really does. I’m not kidding. And my last blog actually said I may try to blog once a week. HA. I see how well that worked. And to try and convey what has happened in the last year would ultimately be mind-numbing. A lot happened, I lived through it and I’m just a year older. But it’s funny, when I read back through and realize I’m still struggling with the same CRAP I was a year ago or longer, its quite dismal. I think it’s time to get new things to struggle with and quit worrying about the same ol’ stuff. For instance, I’d like to worry about where to spend all the money I won in the Powerball. Or which color Mercedes I want. Or what type of marble to put on the floor of my mansion. Those are acceptable struggles. I’m on it….I’ll let you know how that works out.

I do have MySpace and I get on there quite a bit. I actually blogged once in there. Maybe it was twice. I’ll have to look. I should actually copy and paste so it looks like this blog is really long. If you have MySpace and if you still read this, let me know and we can be friends on MySpace. I’m currently collecting them. Friends that is. I am finding they are a rare commodity. Well, true ones anyway.

Here is blog 1 from MySpace:

The 9-minute sequences...
Current mood: relaxed
I am not a morning person. And honestly, that doesn't even begin to describe it. It's not like I need my morning coffee to wake up, I don't drink coffee – except for the occasional Venti Cappuccino with a sweet n low. I don't do mornings, never have and apparently never will. I will sleep until the absolute last possible minute I can without being late and then bargain with myself to sneak some extra minutes. Example – "You know self, if you don't blow dry your hair today and just throw it in a clip, you can sleep an extra 4.7 minutes."

On the other hand, my husband is very much a morning person. I told him the first time I figured out he was so smiley in the morning that we were going to have a problem because "If you're like that in the morning, I am like this." And it's not pretty. Stumbling through the house, hair on end, eyes at half-mast and not a decipherable actual word emitting from me. More like a grunt or two. It is funny though that he can set his alarm and then just turn it off the first time it beeps and get up. And be happy about it! (That's the part that slays me) And his clock is set for the right time.

And then we pan to the other side of the bed…

And that, friends, is a completely different story. My clock is set 23 minutes fast. And the alarm is set for 36 minutes earlier than I have to get up, of course not counting the 2.3 minutes I save if I don't shampoo twice. My alarm goes off and I usually lurch about 6 feet off the bed because it scares the crap out of me and as I'm landing from my voyage through the air, I'm desperately fumbling on the nightstand to find THE SNOOZE BUTTON. I love the snooze button – it is the greatest invention in the world next to a Chevrolet ZZ4 350 ci 4 brl carb 355 hp engine and a 4 speed transmission with a Hurst shifter. The snooze allows me to steal extra sleep in 9-minute intervals. Of course, every 9 minutes I go through my ascension into the atmosphere again but for those 9 wonderful, magnificent minutes, it's worth it.

I'm sure those of you reading this that are akin to my husband are declaring that I just need to set my clock for the correct time, set my alarm for when I need to get up and have that last 36 minutes of slumber completely uninterrupted. I've tried that. It does not work. If I turn it off the first time it goes off, I WILL oversleep and I WILL be late for work. I have tried over and over and over again to change my waking routine but alas, it was not meant to change. This is just how I am.

As for how Mister Morning Guy and I have worked out our differences, he has to get up 2 hours before my first levitation and therefore is not privy to my comical morning episodes. On the rare occasion that he is there to witness it, he simply guffaws lovingly in his good-natured manner and takes his sickeningly happy, awake self to read in peace in the living room.

Here is Blog 2 from MySpace:

I had to write this one down...
Current mood: thoughtful
Susan B. Anthony once said that sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit, and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these. This morning on my way to work, right at the pond just up this hill from my house, a group of ducks were walking right up the middle of the street. A big burly guy in a dump truck was slowly following along behind at a ducks pace with his hazards flashing, smiling like I've not seen anyone smile in a long time (except on TV, of course). Cars piling up behind him, those angry drivers with somehwere important to be and him not caring. I had to write down my unannounced stray dog moment, just in case life - as usual - gets a little too hectic and I forget to put my hazards on and laugh at the ducks.


So now it looks like I’ve just written a whole bunch. Does anybody even read this anymore? I doubt it. Let me know.

I’ll try to do better. Don’t hate me if I don’t. Just check back periodically to see if I’m still kickin.