Thoughts From The Fire

I'm just a country girl...a country girl at heart!

2009-07-15T22:49:00.005-05:00

SO since I've moved up here to the country, Stef, myself and another neighbor has planted a 10,000 square foot garden. Cannot remember at this point if I've blogged on that before since it's been so long so I've posted anything and the posts I've done are few and far between.

Anyway, we've been nurturing our garden: weeding, tending, staking tomatoes, keeping the critters out, using Epsom Salts around the plants, etc. We've planted: tomatoes, beans, sugar snap peas, regular peas, potatoes, corn, watermelon, zucchini, cucumbers, cantaloupe, green peppers, jalapeno peppers, banana peppers, broccoli, cabbage, radishes, three different types of lettuce, onions, different types of herbs, sunflowers...I'm sure there is more but it's hard to remember it all. We're hoping to put in some pumpkins soon for Halloween, too! Most of it we started from seed and it has been an amazing experience so far.

We are finally starting to see the fruits of our labor. Just Monday Stef picked 18 cucumbers! 1-8! And there is much more to come. Holy Crapinettly! We have 44 tomato plants that are going wild - some of our green tomatoes are too big for me to wrap one hand around! - and pretty soon, we will be having tomatoes coming out of everywhere. We've gotten alot of peppers, alot of peas (both regular and sugar snap) and several big baskets of green beans.

Yesterday was the first harvest of the corn and altogether, we pulled out about 340 ears of corn! Stef, Jacob, Nathan, Matthew and me all helped pick. I nearly peed in my pants laughing and Nathan and Jacob - they are so funny. Nathan's decided he will not be coming home on the day of the next harvest and he doesn't quite understand why we need "so much friggin' corn!" It was quite fun. We then divided it among the three families, so I walked away with about 110 ears. Matthew has been having as much fun with this as I have. (Last night we formed a band on Rockband and we named ourselves: CornChuckers) While I was at work today, Matt shucked all of it and cleaned it all! What a great guy! Tonight, we blanched it so we could freeze it for the winter and I took pictures of our whole process. The only pictures I didn't get was the HUGE pile of unshucked ears but, as you can plainly see, we had fun and it almost looked like we knew what we were doing. I'm actually quite proud of myself - this is the first project like this I've actually undertaken all on my own. I'm usually over helping Stef so this is a great source of pride for me...

Here's the shucked corn ready to be blanched and frozen!

And the boiling process...9 minutes in boiling water

Then 9 minutes in ice water

Then out to dry

Then bag it up, we did 6 - 8 ears per bag.

I got those baggies and the thing you can use to suck all the air out. It was fun, the kids all took turns sucking air out of the baggies :)

Our amazing pile of 14 bags of corn!

The boys playing Vanna White with the corn.

The freezer before (Yep, it needs to be wiped out)...

The freezer after...

HALLELUIAH!

2009-06-12T09:53:00.003-05:00

I am feeling the need to share two things today so bear with me as I get some stuff off my chest.

It seems lately my spiritual life has been in a rut. On hold. Stuck in a pothole. Caught in a spiritual winter. However you want to describe it. I have glimpses of the top of the hole and feel like kilroy peeking over the side but somehow I always end up back in the bottom of it. I just feel like I’m totally missing something. And I feel like I’m skimping out on God. I am not sure anymore that even those around me know how “spiritual” (for lack of a better word), faith-filled or God-fearing I really am inside. So Randy, my wonderful, inspirational, motivating brother, and I made a pact a few weeks back. We were talking of this holding pattern and he said - just wait, it’s coming. You are going to have a Halleluiah! Moment and when you do, just text me with the word Halleluiah!

I texted Randy this morning.

I’m reading a new book, Crazy Love. It is actually my boss’s book and it’s on CD so I'm really listening to it. I’m only on the second chapter but it’s already made a big impact. In reading it, I think I’ve realized what the heck my problem is and it’s going to be really, really hard to actually say it out loud (or type it even). But I’m going to try because I want this part of the post to be for my brother to read. Of course, anybody else is more than welcome to read it, but I just need to “talk” to Randy about it and this is the best way I can do that right now without fear that I’ll chicken out or leave part of it out.

My faith has never wavered. I’ve always believed in a higher being and I gave my life to Christ in March of 1992. I have never regretted that decision. Ever. I have questioned Him, yelled at Him, loved Him, ignored Him, pushed Him away, cried out to Him, ignored Him, clung to Him, prayed to Him and hung on as tight as I could to Him. My life has had its problems since then but I thank God that I had Him in my life to carry me through those times. But it just seems like in the last few years something has been wrong. Seriously wrong. I don’t think I could put my finger on it until this morning. Ugh, so here it goes.

I was having a problem with this idea of “surrendering” to God or living only for Him - that this is what I was meant for or this is why I am here. I mean, really. C'Mon. I was having an issue with thinking God was so arrogant or self-centered as to say mankind was here to serve Him. And I was outraged at myself for thinking like that. Who am I to question Him or think He is arrogant and self-centered? And then I wanted to step aside in case a lightning bolt slammed down on me and fried my neurons (kidding). All jokes aside, I was TORN UP inside not understanding everything but still had this growing sense that God was awfully conceited to “think the world revolves around Him”.

This morning, listening to that book I realized….DUH. IT DOES, YOU DORK! And the author describes it in such a way that it was like that lightning bolt really did hit me in the head but it was a wake up call. And it is not conceited of Him to know that all living things are here to serve Him, He made us. He gave us life. Imagine - (this is my analogy) your 13 year old child living in the house you work so hard to pay for, eating the food you labor to put on the table for him, wearing the clothes you painstakingly picked out and paid for, playing with the games you lovingly gave him and he has the audacity to not appreciate any of it, but instead pushes you away and says whatever, I’ll do what I want. It’s like that with God. He made all of this, He made the world in which we live, He gave us the food we eat, He bestowed upon us all the gifts this universe has to offer and I have the audacity to not appreciate any of it but instead push Him away and say whatever, I’ll do what I want? Dude, I know you’re probably reading this thinking, “uhhh yeah? I knew this already” but I don’t think I “got that” until this morning. I understand now. I. understand. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my heart knowing that deep down I don’t think God is conceited, arrogant and self-centered anymore. It is truly, truly hard to even broadcast that I thought that for so long but I can’t move on without realizing that and realizing I was wrong…so very, very wrong.

As I said, I’m only on the second chapter so I’m hoping against hope I will have more Halleluiah! Moments, and soon. God is good and I feel like singing the Halleluiah Chorus at the top of my lungs, but I think I'll wait 'til the car ride home. I don't think my coworkers would appreciate that very much.

And my second thought I wanted to share….today is the start of one of my most favorite times of the year. I saw the first Fireworks tent of the season and (while listening to my book and having a Halleluiah! Moment) it dawned on me that I love summer and all that summer implies.

Have a great day!! Halleluiah! Halleluiah!....

It's about time...I know

2009-05-20T18:55:00.004-05:00

Holy Moses, it's been awhile. QUITE a while. I guess time flies when you don't know what you're doing. I would say "I've been busy" which is very much the truth but sounds so cliche that I'm not going to use it, especially since I'm sure there were some down times over the last two months that I could have sat down and blogged. Truth be known, when I did have time I either a) didn't want to. b)didn't even think about it. or c) I don't think there is a c, I just didn't want to or didn't think about it. Anyway, here I am. Finally updating. Hopefully I still have some readers.

Last time I blogged was about my swap, which was SO very much fun but I was sick. And to be honest, I am still not completely 100%. It took forever to even feel as good as I am now and I still have an awful, awful cough which is worse at night. It seems I'm back to normal for all but that. Well, normal is a term that has not always been used synonymously with my name, but for all intents and purposes, we'll use "normal" as we do "well". It's slow going but I'm getting there.

Matthew will be here Friday and is staying until August!! We are all so very excited. We're not sure if Drew will make it this year but we are hopeful.

Rob got laid off a few weeks ago but we are part of the lucky ones. And, of course, I don't think it's "luck" as much as it is "God's Plan". With our move and the amount of reduction in outgoing expenditures, and with Rob being a Union member, we are okay. I know my Landlord will probably not evict me if I'm late, and Rob will be getting unemployment, which if you are Union is alot different. He'll get regular unemployment plus a supplement from the Union Hall...so, with him not having to fill up his gas tank 2 1/2 times a week and not paying child support (at the moment, of course), we may actually come out even. I'm sure child support will kick back in once he goes back to work or once Matthew goes back to Arizona, but for now, it's a big break for us. And with as much time as he's put in, we will not lose our health insurance for over a year. Again, we are "lucky".

The good thing is...through all of this drama, and sickness, and craziness that is my life, I can honestly say there has not many times in my life that I have been happier. I'm just plain happy. Yep, I still hate my job. Yep, I still have problems but instead of worrying about all that could happen or has happened or will happen, I'm trusting that God has my back. And I'm cool with that. He's led us to it, He'll get us through it.

SO...hello blog. I am back. I hope it won't be forever until I post again but in the event that it takes a while, just know that I may be busy, or I may not want to, or I may not be thinking about it. :)

YOU'VE GOT MAIL! (OR UPS)

2009-03-05T16:47:00.011-06:00

I am SO excited! My favorite things partner Mindy from The Lady Bug Farm sent my package early and I got it today. I will tell you now, it could not have come at a better time. I am home sick today. I was absolutely positive I had pneumonia but I went to one of those new Walgreens Take Care Clinics and they said it was just an Upper Respiratory Infection. I still can't breathe and my temperature is 101.4 and I can't stop coughing, so at this point I don't care what it is, just fix it! So imagine how excited I got when I stumbled through the living room to find a package all for me on the stairs. I thought at first it was some speakers I ordered so I wasn't too excited until I saw it wasn't from the speaker place. If I'd felt better I'd have strutted back through the house doing Sam's oonce oonce dance. As it was, I grabbed my box and headed back to my sickroom (my bedroom) and delved in!

A peek inside the box...A note from Mindy on a DAISY! My very favorite flower....and then I realized she'd made the card AND taken the photo of the daisy! A CD of Mamma Mia! I have yet to see the movie but I will be listening to this soon! I love ABBA!Apparently, Mindy also loves purses, totes, bags and wallets. Isn't this little bag an absolute gem?
And a journal! I used to journal (manually) a long time ago, but haven't done so since the inception of my blog so I'm excited to start writing in it!

I think these are my favorite! LOOK at these cards!!! She MADE them! They are absolutely beautiful, and the photos are all hers, too! Mindy - I just moved into a new home and I'm actually thinking of framing these and putting them on my wall! And a book! Another "favorite" thing we have in common. I can't wait to start reading this one.

As we speak (or as I type), my treasures are covering the bed and I am so excited. Mindy and I share alot of favorite things...I just hope she enjoys the things I sent her as much as I am enjoying what she sent me! Mindy - let me know when you get it! It should be to you tomorrow!!

And for those of you that are wondering where I've been since I haven't blogged in a month, I'm digging out of a mountain of boxes after our move. So in other words, I've been "nesting". To say I love it here would be a gross understatement. I have completely unpacked my kitchen stuff and I still have 4 empty cabinets! And it's so QUIET. Especially at night. I'm not being jarred awake at 3am by screaming in the street anymore....photos to come, I promise. But for now, y'all...I'm off to my sickbed.

Stalker, Stalkee

2009-02-09T23:43:00.004-06:00

So it's late and I'm sitting here wanting to blog something but not really sure of what I want to say. Funny thing though, as I got on to see if anyone had commented I found out 1) I have a new follower...YAY!!! Not only do I stalk but I love to be stalked also! Welcome Stacy! No wait, not that you are a stalker but I love to be read 2) I really love all the songs on my playlist. Just in case you didn't know, each song was hand selected by me as a song that truly has significance to me, whether it's that it brings back a memory, I can play it or its just poignant to me. I love LOVE music so this little playlist you hear as you read my blog is actually a little piece of my heart. If you ever want to know what one of the songs mean to me or why it was included, just ask me. Maybe someday I'll just make a list of each one with an explanation. Who knows.

Also, gotta tell you just in case I hadn't announced it to the everyone, my mom's biopsy results came back negative. AMEN! We were concerned she was having a recurrence of breast cancer in a different form (Paget's) but it turns out it is nothing and I cannot even begin to type how very very much I am relieved. It took over two weeks to get the results, with several phone calls from me to the doctors office, to mom, back to the doctors office, to my sisters, to the doctors office, to mom....but we got them.

Ok, I'm off. Quick update for you and a resurrection of the smile list
1. Good music
2. The end of a Monday
3. Connecting with old friends
4. Making new friends
5. Happy children

My ME Interview

2009-02-05T11:39:00.002-06:00

In my own mind, I imagine folks dropping in on my blog and reading with great enthusiasm - my witty comments and great writing ability – I know I know, keep dreaming. I think in reality I just have a handful of readers (one is my mother and two are my sisters so reading my blog for them is a pre-requisite). I LOVE to read about other people, though. I’m sure by now you all realize I’m a closet blog stalker. I have a few blogs I read every day. Every once in a while I will elude to something I read on one or something that really caught my attention. Recently, I’ve actually come out of the closet on some – either on purpose or through friends and it’s actually quite liberating!

In the middle of these that I follow relentlessly is AbFab Geek (speaking of witty comments and great writing ability!) Her link is on my blogroll and I love to read about her little family of geeks. (Sidebar: Mrs. Geek, I need to know the painter that created the GREAT murals on middle geek's wall! Can he create a Arizona Cardinals Logo for me??) Anyway, she did a ME interview on her blog and I decided I wanted to do one too. She e-mailed me my questions yesterday – so here you have it. My ME interview - going back to that all-in-my-head theory that I have thousands of silent blog stalkers of my own that want to know more.

1. What made you decide to come out of the stalker closet?
I actually have wanted to comment many times since she and I are technically business neighbors and she’s right across the parking lot from my work but just never did. The ME interview looked fun and I thought, what the heck. I’ll become an unconcealed follower.

2. Is your brother still ministering to the homeless, if so tell me the most interesting part of it.
Yes, Randy is still ministering to the homeless. His website, www.misfitsforjesus.com is a great source of information of his ministry. The most interesting part of it, for me, is to see how it has changed Randy. He has a gift for helping these folks. He truly is a very special man and his heart reaches out to these lost souls but I think it mends the broken parts of his own soul. If that makes any sense at all.

3. What was the first car you owned and did you sell it or total it?
My first car was given to me by my sister, Stef. It was a red 1980 Pontiac Sunbird and I LOVED THAT CAR. When I left for college, I gave it back to Stef who in turn sold it, I think. Mom wouldn’t allow me to take it to college with me.

4. What do you own that you have had since childhood and why have you kept it?
The thing that means the most is a plaque with the Serenity Prayer on it. I think the story is that my Grammy gave it to me and when my niece was born, I gave it to her to be hung in her room. When she died, Stef gave it back to me and it sits on my bedside table so I always remember to: Ask God for the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I also have a little pink bunny (about 2 inches tall) that I got for Easter when I was probably 8 or 9. Randy named it Jeffro and I can’t really say why I’ve kept it. I just love little Jeffro, I guess.

5. What is the worst job you have ever had and why?
Gosh. I’ve had so many. I worked at Papa Johns for 4 hours. That in itself has to be some sort of record. The worst was KFC. I worked there for 4 days, I think. I HATE TO PEEL POTATOES. I.hate.it. On my fourth day there, they brought me 50 pounds of potatoes to peel. UGH. So I peeled them, begrudgingly of course, thinking I can do this, I can do this… I got them all done and they brought me in another 50 pounds. I quit.

There you have it. My ME interview!

If you want to participate, these are the rules:
1. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment that says "Interview me".
2. I will respond by emailing you 5 questions (I get to choose the questions). Make sure you leave me your e-mail address.
3. Update your blog with the answers to the questions and let me know when you have posted it.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When other comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Today's Letter is "M"

2009-02-04T12:35:00.005-06:00

One of my latest blog stalkees, http://www.ourdandelionwishes.com/, played a fun game where she had to list her 10 favorite things that begin with the letter C. I decided I wanted to play too, so she assigned me the letter M and I did it as she did, with photos.

MOTHER!

My mother is my number one fan! She is one of my best friends and I couldn’t have a list of my favorite things without listing her first, no matter what the letter. I guess I got lucky that it was M!

My Men!

Another one that my favorites list would be incomplete without. My daddy is the greatest daddy in the world! And I cannot imagine my life without Robbie. I love hanging out with him, building stuff, playing pool or just snugglin!
MY place!

The Lot! My most favorite place in the entire world to be. Some have called it a “God-Forsaken Hell Hole” but to me, it’s pure heaven.

Milkduds!

I love Milkduds. Always have. They remind me of Halloween as a kid when I first fell in love with them. I’m not a chocolate lover but I love Milkduds.

Mysteries!

I am an avid reader; I’m never without a book (or three) that I’m reading. I love a good mystery about as much as anybody. Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot or Miss Marple – and all the rest!

Make-Up!

I don’t wear a whole lot of it anymore but I love browsing the make-up aisle or getting new stuff to try. I know, out of character for self-proclaimed NON GIRLY status, but it’s so much fun!

Microsoft Office Excel!

Yep – I am a Geek. I can’t help it. I’ve read the “Excel Bible” cover to cover. It sucked me in from page 1.

Mail!

Getting mail. Not e-mail so much as regular mail. And of course not the kind that says ‘Balance Due’. The personal kind that I got a lot more of prior to the invention of e-mail.
Mashed Potatoes!

I’m a freak for mashed potatoes. We got to Ponderosa occasionally and the kids get their ice-cream for dessert – they now call Mashed Potatoes “mom’s ice cream” because rather than dipping out the vanilla, I’m back in line for the spuds!

Music!

Whether listening to it or making it. I cannot live without my music.
TADA! That was fun! If any of you readers, all 2 of you would like a letter, just comment or e-mail me at catrinarking@yahoo.com!

Swapping Stuff

2009-02-03T18:05:00.002-06:00

Ok, E! I'm doing it too! Looks life fun!

Here I go again...

2009-02-03T10:55:00.003-06:00

I have been following a blog about a lady who lost her 14-month-old baby girl to a very, very tragic accident. Her honesty and heartfelt grief are so real but she maintains her hope in God and her Faith does not waiver. Even though most of her posts seem so sad as she copes with this tremendous loss in her life, it’s actually very inspirational to me because she never doubts God. She relies on Him completely to get her through and continues to praise Him for the victories in her life.

She recently talked of a Sunday school message where the class discussed 2 John and they were asked which was easier to believe, God’s Truth or the love of Jesus through God’s Truth. She said most of the class said the love was easier than the truth. I think I was on the other side. For me, it is God’s Truth that is easier to believe. I have never doubted that the Bible is His Word and is completely true. I have never doubted that what He promises in the Bible will come to fruition. I have never doubted that He will take care of me. When I do doubt (which is often), it’s usually about how anyone, especially the Creator of the universe, can love me enough…like God’s/Christ’s love for me.

Ok, I know that was deep for my first post back after several weeks but it’s been brewing in my mind for a while. I seem to be in the thinking cycle of my heart. I think a lot lately, about a lot of stuff. I remember a quote from the movie Legends of the Fall…” Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, or they become legends.” Let’s just hope I don’t become crazy (if I’m not already!)

So to lighten things up a bit, I’ll tell you of my great adventures in painting. Randy, Oh Randy, HOW do you do that day in and day out? I painted Lizzie’s room in the new house Saturday. I started at 11am and did not finish until 9:30 pm. With no break. I did emerge from my color palette once in a while for a drink or bathroom break, but for the most part, I stayed focused. She picked out a very neat comforter and we matched the colors to it. Two walls are green, two walls are purple and the window coverings are blue. I have a photo of one corner of the room taken from my cell phone. I’ll have to get better pictures with the big camera once I’m not cross-eyed and my right bicep has unknotted.

Robbie has been busy working on getting Sam’s room ready in the basement of the new house. It’s going to be cool too, so I’ll be sure to post pictures as well. I’m sure the job of wall-covering maestro will fall to me once again so I guess I better prepare myself for another day of manual labor.

I’ll also post a photo of the view from my room off the back deck. Can you tell I am excited?

2009-01-06T23:26:00.002-06:00

This is an impromptu post. Meaning, normally I do a post and type it all up nice and neat in Word beforehand so I can somewhat sorta do a spellcheck and try to act like I might know a bit about the English language. But not tonight. Tonight I am posting without comforts of spellcheck or Word although I'm sure its available somewhere on here, this new computer. But I don't much feel like searching for it. This is one of those up close and unplugged blogs and even as I am typing this, I'm doubting it will get published-just becase I haven't proofread it.

But I have to let loose of some things on my heart.

First - I figured out F-A-M-I-L-Y. We are the ones who know each others stories. Is that not true? My oldest boys were here over the holiday weekend and wanted me to recant the stories of A) a wreck I'd had B) of Sams birth or C) of some other story that I realized in the telling...these are my family members. They SHARE my story. My F-A-M-I-L-Y are the ones who already know these stories and still revel in the re-telling of them. My true family was there. It is their story too, is it not?

I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my mama has stories that my aunties know that in the re-telling I would undoubtedly understand but lose the luster because I wasn't there.

And one other thing. I think I finally have what my mama has, and what my sisters have and what my brother has. I have found my soulmate. I married him almost 6 years ago but he is honestly my soul mate. How come he so knows what I want even before I know I want it? How come he is so willing to put me ahead of him? Oh, did the Lord know what he was doing when He made that man for me.

There is so much more on my heart right now, but time reigns. I just wish everyone who reads my blog to know God's love. To know that even though you stumble and fall, God truly does know what you need. And He is truly mindful of your wants too. Trust Him.

7 Things To Do Before I Turn 40

2009-01-02T13:35:00.004-06:00

I had a birthday Wednesday. I normally do not mind it coming and going, getting a year older usually because it’s New Years Eve and it’s all a big fun day. But this year, I’m feeling a little more philosophical about the whole thing – a bit more introspective. I will be 40 in just two short years. When I look back over the last 38 years, I did not expect to be where I am at this stage in my life. Granted, this stage is not bad but it’s not what I anticipated and that’s ok.

New Years Day I watched some made for TV movie on Lifetime, I’m not even sure of the name but in it, the main character was 29 and came across an old letter she’d written to herself as a teenager and it included a list of 7 things she wanted to accomplish before she turned 30. She realized she had not completed anything on her list. This is one of those movies I would normally be ashamed to admit I watched all the way through but this is also the kind of character and dilemma I can relate with so I was sucked in to the drama.

So, in the fashion of this character, whoever she is, I have decided to make my own list. Not like my “Bucket List” but this is Seven Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 40. I have two years to compete my list and I’m not exactly sure what all it will entail right now. I do know 4 of the things for sure, and the other 3 are just ideas looming…I guess I’ll post them as I think them through. For now – here is my list. This is not a life-altering list of things that I saw myself doing 25 years ago but just stuff I want to do.

1. Lose 100 pounds and keep it off
2. FIND A NEW JOB
3. Get a tragus piercing (that's the thing that sticks out in front of your ear)
4. Get two more tattoos
5.
6.
7.

So there you have it. I’ll post five, six and seven when they are solidly formed in my head. Let me know if you decide to make a similar list...

Christmas

2008-12-29T12:26:00.004-06:00

I know, I know. It's been a while. Christmas has come and gone - actually, I think Thanksgiving has come and gone since the last I posted. I apologize. I've just been crazy busy. Every time started a post, I got sidetracked and never finished so instead of posting a half-done post, I just delete it and figure I'll get another one done someday. I guess today is my someday.

I did get my calendars done for everyone. I think they were a hit, as they usually are. I loved doing them this year and I put alot of extra time into them doing extra things but it was very well worth it!!

Boys are here with their friend Ryan. It has been an absolute blessing to have them all here. Plus Lizzie's friend Tabby spent this weekend with us so though we have a house full of kids, both Robbie and I are enjoying every minute of it. We actually talked about it last night and wished we could've had more kids, especially together.

Robbie took me to see Jeff Dunham last night at the Family Arena. If you don't know who he is, you HAVE to check him out. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I had tears streaming down my face and the girl sitting next to me made me feel better because she apparently has a tendancy to snort while laughing hysterically also.

We're moving sometime soon...not exactly sure when though I prefer sooner rather than later. We're in negotiations with a house investor who will contact our mortgage company direct and work out a deal. We won't make any money but then we're out from under the ARM without any bad credit consequences so we're happy about that. Plus we get to move in to the house across from Stef. I have NO idea what I'm going to do with all that SPACE! To say I am excited is quite an understatement.

I'm sure I could keep posting to bring you up to date since 5 weeks ago but I'm out of time. I'll post more when I can. Besides, I want to add photos...

"My" Dump Truck

2008-11-20T10:05:00.004-06:00

Some time ago I was struggling pretty hard with some issues going on in my life. I know, I know, typical of me, eh? Anyway, my usual modus operandi was to continue to struggle in my own power and just muddle through the best I could. But that wasn’t working. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and I just didn’t think I had it in me to continue. I felt I was about to break – body, mind, soul and spirit. I was on my way to work and I felt like turning my car around and going home to hide under the covers. Either that or just turning it into a ditch. So I started to pray. Hard. I knew the only thing that could bring me through this was God, but I was having a hard time praying because I just felt so completely lost. So over and over in my head I just said “God, I do not have the strength to do this anymore.” And there, right in front of me, was a dump truck. Yes, the kind you see on the roads every day carrying their big loads of stuff. And written on the back in large letters, it said, “ The Lord is Our Strength”. Instantaneously, my tears dried, my heart lifted and I have never felt the presence of God more than in that moment. And since then, I will occasionally see “my” dump truck on the road and the amazing part is, it’s usually when I need to be reminded that God’s got my back. I bring this up because I saw “my” dump truck again this morning and following along behind it, I snapped a photo of it with my cell phone. It's not a great picture, but in times of trouble - this is my reminder. If ever the owner of this dump truck were to know what an inspiration and lifesaver his dump truck has been...

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. ~Psalm 28:7
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~Philippians 4:13

Isn't it comforting to know that God loves us and is our strength through the fire...

End of an era...

2008-11-17T16:25:00.000-06:00

Rob and I took the kids to McDonalds last week after church and standing in line giving our order, I realized we’ve reached a new era in our parenting lives and I was actually deeply saddened. Neither child ordered a “Happy Meal”. My babies are growing up…

Mama, how do I cope?

It's a Family Tradition...

2008-11-13T11:06:00.004-06:00

Our stretch of the road has not had the best luck in producing "good" neighbors. We’ve had a man arrested for beating his wife, three children and two of their friends in a drunken stupor, we’ve had a brother of a neighbor jerk Sam from his bike by the back of his coat, we’ve had the DEA investigate a few of the houses…I could go on, but you get my point.

SO needless to say I am very leery of any new people moving in, which is usually every 6 months or so. On our side of the street at this particular stretch, we are the only family that doesn’t rent. I’m not implying that people who rent are below those who don’t or anything of the sort. I’m just saying in the last 8 years, I’ve seen many MANY types of folks move in and out of these 6 houses. Some good, some not so good.

Lizzie has befriended a little girl who is just a year older than she. Tabitha recently moved in 4 houses down with her mom and 2 sibilings. Robbie and I are usually very careful about letting either Sam or Lizzie go play at any of the 6 houses. On one occasion while playing with a child of a past tenant, Sam learned that causing a fight while drunk and subsequently getting arrested is automatically 24-hours in the hoosegow (different drunken stupor and different neighbor than the one stated above). Not exactly the sort of thing I want my kids to EVER find out, let alone when they are 11. So Lizzie’s new friend has been asking and asking if Lizzie could play. I still haven’t met the mom so I’d rather they play in our yard or at our house. Sam also has a new friend, Josh, who has moved in a few houses UP the street, also a renter district. We’ve met his mom and talked several times on the phone and they end up at one home or the other, which I’m fine with. And both kids are very polite, very sweet kids. No problems thus far. Both of them seem lonely, though.

Lately I’ve been coming home to not two kids, but four kids roaming around our house. Usually the boys are downstairs on the X-Box 360 and the girls are pestering Robbie or playing in Lizzie’s room. Somehow our house has turned in to the kid-fun house. Its fun actually and I like it. Last night was an all out pillow fight between the girls and Robbie. Josh couldn't come over but Sam was able to go play at his house.

Tabby’s mom doesn’t inquire much as to her whereabouts when she’s with us and I’ve never met her, nor has Robbie so I’ve wondered what type of home-life she has. I’m gathering from snippets of conversations that her parents are divorced, she has two younger siblings and her mom is a maid. The last few nights, she has been there as I’m getting dinner ready and I’ve invited her to eat with us since we have enough and she’s there already. The first night I had Lizzie start to set the table and as I was putting dinner on it, Tabby said “Whoa, we’re eating at the table? We’re sitting down? At the table?” And looked at me like I’d just asked her to remove her arms and sweep the floor with them. When I said, “Well. Yea!?!?” She thought that was the coolest thing she was ever going to be privy to. And she’s now had two consecutive dinners with us – I’m sure she’ll be there tonight, also. And tomorrow.

I try to get the family to sit down to dinner as many times as possible during the week which, depending on the week, can range from 0 nights to 7 nights. And lately, I’ve been pushing more for it and staying home due to economic constraints but to see a little girls’ delight at being able to sit down for a family meal was very enlightening. I believe those stories about family bonds being tied over the dinner table. And how it instills values in the kids that stay with them all their lives. And I am more than happy to help the little girl down the street, or the little boy up the street with that, even if it’s only a meal or two. Do families really not do this much anymore? Was she so in awe of the act of sitting down to dinner because her family just doesn't do it? Are they too busy? How sad to think a tradition as simple as a family dinner which could have such an impact on a young life has faded away. How like our rush-rush-gimme-it-now society to push something so influential out.

And to think I took for granted the fact that we ate supper as a family every single night of my childhood through my teens…

THANK YOU!

2008-11-11T13:18:00.006-06:00

(Click on the above so you can read the poem)

Thank you, Dad! For all you've sacrificed. For all you've endured. For the time away from your family. For the hurts and pain that will never be erased from your being. For all the hope you've given us as a country even when we, as a country, turned our backs and protested against all you've done. You are our lifeblood, our reason, and our future. My prayer is that this country continues in the tradition many like you have fought, bled and some died to keep. And that our country will never forget heroes like you.

Thank you to all the Veterans - Uncle Walter, Josh, Drew and all the rest who sacrifice for us everday.

Go thank a Veteran! And if you think about it, don't just do it today. Do it EVERY DAY.

“He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver…”

2008-11-07T13:55:00.002-06:00

I love the following story. The first time I heard it I lived in Mississippi and I was having a very hard time with some things going on in my life. If you knew me back then, then I'm sure you can figure out what, or rather who, I was struggling with. I was also struggling with the fact that for the first time in my life I was living totally surrendered to God's will but could NOT for the life of me understand WHY I was going through this MESS when I was living surrendered as I was....and then I read this story. It's been a while since I read it and my wonderful friend Elizabeth e-mailed it to me a few weeks back. I thought it worth sharing, because it's very comforting to me when I get to feeling down and out that He is shining me up...

"Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to read the scriptures, and make them the subject of conversation. While reading the third chapter of Malachi they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: “And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”

One lady’s opinion was that is was intended to convey the view of the sanctifying influence of the grace of Christ. Then she proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them what he said on the subject. She went accordingly and without telling the object of her errand, begged to know the process of refining silver, which he fully described to her. “But sir,” she said, “do you sit while the work of refining is going on?” “Oh, yes, madam,” replied the silversmith; “I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured.”

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, “He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.” Christ sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for them. Their trials do not come at random, and they are only as intense and last only as long as is necessary for the refining process.

As the lady was preparing to leave the shop, the silversmith concluded by saying that he knows the process of purifying is complete when he can see his own image reflected in the silver. What a beautiful example! When Christ sees His own image in His people, His work of purifying is accomplished."

Have a wonderful weekend, all!

Wordless Wednesday - On the right day even!

2008-11-05T09:46:00.002-06:00

Jackie O

Nerd Boy

Friday was duct tape day at school.

2008-11-04T08:27:00.000-06:00

Remember this guy?

Didn't realize just how much he'd be missed, until I read and remembered some of the stuff he said...and stood for:

'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.'- Ronald Reagan

'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan

'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' - Ronald Reagan

'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.' - Ronald Reagan

'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.' - Ronald Reagan

'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.' - Ronald Reagan

'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.' - Ronald Reagan

'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.' - Ronald Reagan

'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.' - Ronald Reagan

'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. '- Ronald Reagan

'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' - Ronald Reagan

Mission...

2008-10-31T13:14:00.004-05:00

I am currently singing the theme to Misssion Impossible in my head...dunh dunh dunh, dunh da dunh dunh dunh. You know the one. And the reason is...well, hopefully it's not impossible, but I am A WOMAN ON A MISSION.

At the beginning of 2008, I decided I wanted to lose 100 pounds this year. Well, that was the assignment I apparently chose not to accept, because I'm down but only 12 pounds. Somehow I missed it by 88. Anyway, I have exactly one year until my 20th high school reunion. (Has it truly been THAT long??) So my assignment (should I chose to accept it) is to lose the 100 pounds by October 2009. That means I have to lose 8.33 pounds per month for the next year. And I am STOKED for it. I CAN DO THIS! I KNOW I can! I may have given up on a lot of dreams in my life but this is one I simply cannot let go and I will not let go.

So, watch out world. I have a mission and I AM ON IT!

Wordless Wednesday (One Day Late)

2008-10-30T11:12:00.004-05:00

This one is for Elizabeth - Lizzie's door, the dry erase board says "Lizzie's Room, Please Knock, Thanks"

Sorry honey, I had to!
NO! It's not froth, it's teeth!

Sam's foot is now bigger than mine. This is big news in a 13 year old boys life.

As are his hands!

Not quite so Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-29T14:44:00.005-05:00

To continue with my quotes, (mainly because I haven’t uploaded the great photo I want on here for Wordless Wednesday) I will add my most very favorite quote. Ever. Maybe because it sums up so nicely the way I feel most days.

"What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am." -Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Also, I made an award. And yes, I know my drawings are quite kindergarten, but the thought is what counts right?

So here it is – for however the recipients wish to post it.

To Stef and Bebe,

Someone asked me once if I had any friends to share
All my secrets, my joys and my grief
I explained I had all a girl could want
I have my sisters and they are all I need
~Catrina (aka Babe)

Words of Wisdom...

2008-10-28T14:23:00.005-05:00

My friend Elizabeth is a collector of quotes. She loves examples of good writings, good quotes and heartfelt words and keeps them in a quote library. Read her story here - Good Writing. I already emailed her and explained it was her fault that I was now a collector of quotes. If I think about it, I already was a collector of quotes but it never occurred to me to write the good stuff down. Every once in a while a good one comes along and I'll jot it on a sticky note for future reference, but not in an actual retrievable format like when I referenced Dr. Dworkin in August, and that was only because I googled it.

Anyway, I have two very poignant (at least to me) things that I've read over the last two days. The first one is from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and after my recent blogs on unhappy/happy times or good days/bad days, I thought it very, very pertinent.

"Maybe happiness didn't have to be about the big, sweeping circumstances, about having everything in your life in place. Maybe it was about stringing together a bunch of small pleasures. Wearing slippers and watching the Miss Universe contest. Eating a brownie with vanilla ice cream. Getting to level seven in Dragon Master and knowing there were twenty levels to go. Maybe happiness was just a matter of the little upticks - the traffic signal that said 'Walk' the second you got there - and downticks - the itchy tag at the back of your collar - that happened to every person in the course of a day. Maybe everybody had the same allotted measure of happiness within each day. Maybe it didn't matter if you were a world-famous heartthrob or a painful geek. Maybe it didn't matter if your friend was possibly dying. Maybe you just got through it. Maybe that was all you could ask for."

The second is not so deep but also extremely pertinent to me - especially if you've ever been privvy to my Sunday night blues....

"You know you've chosen the right career by how you feel Sunday night." ~Old Adage

I'll probably post more as I find them - they seem to pop out at me now that I've been thrown into the anal retentive English teacher trait pool with Elizabeth.

"Smile - it increases your face value and makes people wonder what you're up to." ~Author unknown.

Quickie

2008-10-27T10:38:00.003-05:00

This is a quickie for now until I can post more later but I am soliciting thoughts on this...

Did anyone catch the world series game last night - or more in particular - the Patti Labelle rendition of our National Anthem? Tell me honestly if I'm the only one who thought she absolutely massacred it? I cannot stand it when singers try to make it have all those runs and notes that really do NOT belong in it. She didn't get the words right twice (Skylight instead of twilight and flight instead of fight). She has an incredible voice but man, I wanted to watch the annoying phone commercial instead of that.

2008-10-23T16:09:00.002-05:00

OK, so I’ve done all this layout changing so I figured I’d better do an updated post, as well. Tell me how you like the new layout? Thank you to my buddy Carrie for the header image. I'm still working on placement. I'm a do-it-yourselfer html code kinda gal so forgive me if it takes a bit to get it right. Anyway, Very cool, I think. She was going for something that would remind my of my beloved place – The Lot and I think she did quite well. So tell me what you think. I think it’s cool, although I will miss the little Norman look-a-like on the right…

This week has been better than the last few. I’m still ready for this election to be over, though. I just want the right guy for the job, no matter what party, what color, what ever. It seems like people just go crazy every four years. I know the future of our country depends on which guy we choose but I also know – that no matter what – the winner will not be a surprise to God and He is ultimately in control of all of it. Yes, our economy is scary right now. But it’s not scary to God! I know not many people liked the last administration but honestly – he did a heckuva lot better job than I could’ve. And he took a lot of abuse a lot more gracefully than I would have. I would’ve thrown insults right back at all these people who think they know my job better than me. And to be honest again, no I’m not really any worse off that I was 8 years ago. Granted, I seem to be deeper in the hole that I was but the more I’ve thought about that, the more I realize it’s my own fault! I’m the one who bought a house 40 miles from my workplace. I’m the one who bought two new cars at the same time thereby gaining two new car payments when there were none, one a gas guzzling Dodge Hemi. I’m the one who refinanced my house raising my house payments by $300/ month and I’m the one who spends my money. Okay, my 401K sucks butt at the moment and I’ve lost over $2,000 more than I’ve put in it this year but it’s all relative. I only really lose money when I sell! And I don’t plan on pulling out anytime soon and I’m sure, eventually, it’ll all work out and I’ll be in the plus again. It always does. I’m just muddling through, trying to keep my head above water, which I’ve been doing since before I got married the first time in 1992. So yea, I may have a problem in June when the mortgage adjusts on my ARM but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I’m not going to steal worries from tomorrow when I have enough to worry about today. God knows what’s going on and God will take care of me, even if I have to live in a little two-story cabin in the woods.

I do have a lot better life than I did 8 years ago but that’s not due to anything government related – that’s Robbie related.

I am very, very sorry if I offend anyone. I’m not trying to do that at all! I’m just trying to make sense of it all in my own little head, which has a very hard time wrapping around all these big political ideas. Some days, I'm not so smart about some things.

This was not so much a fun blog. I probably should just keep my mouth shut next time.

I'm BAAACKKK....

2008-10-17T09:41:00.000-05:00

So…it’s been awhile. I find it really hard to post a blog when I’m down. I sometimes feel compelled to make an entry (hence my last one) but I’d prefer to wait until I feel better in my head and heart. I’m not sure why, maybe it would make me feel better if I just blogged through it. Or maybe I would just prefer to muddle through it in my own way by myself. Who knows – I’m just weird.

A lot has happened in the last week. A lot that really makes one look at the big picture and realize what is important. Robbie’s boss shot and killed himself last Friday. Very, very sad. Rob took it pretty hard, I think. More than he let on. I feel bad for the guy’s family and what he left behind. Two daughters and a wife. Many friends. I never got to meet him but it makes me so sad to think about it. Do they wonder if they could’ve helped him in any way? Do they wonder if they could’ve stopped it? What pushed him to that point? Did he not feel loved anymore? He brought tomatoes to Robbie on Wednesday because he knew I love tomatoes. I had a really hard time eating those tomatoes.

Anyway – a few weeks back Elizabeth anointed me with a blog award – an “I love you this much” Award. No, E – I didn’t forget. I’ve just been contemplating how to handle the fact that I only know three bloggy people. And the truth of the matter is, they all would deserve an “I love you this much” Award from me. And I know of a few others that would deserve it from me but do not keep a blog. Therefore, I – once again – am breaking the rules of the blogdom empire and I’m giving my awards to those I truly love, but not all have blogs.

First – Stef. My big sister. I love her truly. I feel over the last several years we’ve gotten closer than we’ve ever been and for that, I am truly grateful. Stef, you can post your award on your blog!

Second – Bebe. My other big sister. I love her truly, also. We finish each other’s sentences and think very much alike.

Third – Randy. My big brother. I love him truly, as well. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Randy will someday make his impact in this world and it will be huge!

I love all three of my siblings without boundaries. There are no words to express the sheer perpetuity of the love I have or how loved I feel from all three and it keeps me going. I love them all equally but differently, for they are all very different people.

Fourth – My parents. They have been the biggest blessing in my life that I can name. My biggest fans, my champions and my support system. They are the reason that Stef, Bebe, Randy and I are the people we are – which in my personal opinion – we are pretty awesome people. And there is no one else in this world that I would rather spend time with than my mom, my dad or my siblings.

Fifth – My husband. One of the most understanding, patient and kind people I have ever known. How he can put up with me some days, I have no idea. But he does, and he loves me. I have never been more secure in someone’s love (besides God of course) that wasn’t blood related to me. I truly, truly thank God for him every single day. Except those days when I want to pull off my shoe and throw it at him, but that would not be his fault. That would be me and my bad mood and I know that. Well, maybe sometimes it’s his fault, but rarely.

Sixth – and this is a grouping together – My friends. I have four friends whom I feel are TRUE friends. Friends that I can tell most anything to. Friends that, if need be, besides my sisters, I could call in the middle of the night with a terrible problem and they would do one of three things. A. Cry with me. B. Drive to me and hug me. C. Listen. Truly listen. None would be mad for me calling in the wee hours, none would hang up and all would be compassionate. Friends that know if they need to call me in the wee hours, they can. And I would do A, B o C or all three. Friends that rather than me calling them to bail me out of jail, they would be sitting next to me saying - dang, that was fun! They are Chris, Carrie, Elizabeth and Susan.

How very blessed I am.

So here it is! The I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH AWARD!!!

2008-10-06T09:43:00.000-05:00

I am tired. So tired of a lot of things. Tired of financial issues, tired of job issues, tired of health issues of me, my family and my friends, tired of the political drama, tired of taking 2 steps forward to be shoved 3 steps back, tired of never seeming to get ahead and rush rush rushing everywhere. My good friend Elizabeth wrote a quote on her blog that made me stop. I stopped dead in my tracks. “You were not 'in the moment,' you were trying to get 'to' the moment." That is exactly how I feel. I feel like my life is leading me. Leading me around by a leash ( or a noose ) and I’m just bumbling along following wherever it takes me but wishing desperately to get ‘to the moment’. My prayer – and please pray with me – is that I start taking time to smell the roses, appreciate THIS moment instead of wishing my life away, and I so very much just want to be happy and content.

On a lighter note, I did the Lupus walk yesterday with Elizabeth, Lizzie, Elizabeth’s husband, daughter, son and father-in-law. It was a wonderful day. We walked the 1/2 mile then the 2 mile and ate lunch in Shaw Park thanks to Elizabeth. I just wish that the Lupus Foundation would garner the kind of support that the Susan G Komen Foundation does for their annual walks. I’m sure they started small too, so lets pass the word around and get awareness and support for our friends and family members living with Lupus. I am hoping we do this every year and make it an annual thing so lets do it!! Lupus sucks.

In loving memory of Aunt Emma...

2008-10-01T08:42:00.000-05:00

In loving memory...

Emma Frances Southard
October 14, 1923 - October 1, 2008

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard his call,
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work, to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I've found that peace at the end of the day.

If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah, yes, these things too I will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My Life's been full, I savoured much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one' touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow. ~Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare

Wordless Wednesday

2008-09-24T09:32:00.000-05:00

The Little Agent Who Could...

2008-09-23T12:32:00.000-05:00

I have been playing the mental mindset game the last two days. You know what I mean. The one where you really really want to just shout at the top of your lungs “I HATE IT HERE!“ but you rely on the old mantra, “I love my job! I love my job! I love my job!” and just keep repeating it over and over so, hopefully, you will start to believe. It’s just been one of those weeks. But hey, I have a job and I should be thankful so I am. I think today is one of those days I need to post a smile list.

1. Good movies.
2. Good food.
3. Good friends.
4. GREAT weekends.
5. Hope.

So, I know. Short but sweet. I don’t have much time, I’m very busy at work so I’ll have to post more later. It’s not a goodbye, just a ‘til then sendoff. In the meantime…I love my job, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job….

Wordless Wednesday - RANDOM PHOTOS

2008-09-17T15:43:00.001-05:00

Me & Robbie King (sung to the tune of Me & Bobby McGee)

2008-09-16T15:18:00.000-05:00

My good friend Elizabeth is/was posting her “Our Story” so when her children get older, they will know the true story and unabridged version of how their parents met. I wish I had great stories and photos of when I met Robbie. I don’t have a lot of photo’s of us since I hate HATE having my picture taken and I don't remember most of the details since I don't keep a journal but I decided to do my version of “The Story of Us”

My best friend lives in Springfield and in 2002 rented in a small apartment complex. Jerri was a neighbor that I got to know through Chris and she and I became fast friends. Jerri met Rob (nope, not my Rob(bie)) and they fell in love and then planned their wedding for May 18, 2002. Jerri’s Rob had a son, David, from a previous relationship who was just a bit younger than Lizzie. David and Lizzie were best buddies and since David was to be the ring bearer in the wedding, Jerri asked Lizzie to be the flower girl. At that time, I was in a relationship with a great guy named Steve but deep down knew I didn’t love him. The relationship was headed nowhere fast and I so desperately did not want yet another failure in that department that I was hanging on to it with every shred of dignity and pride I could muster. Steve had decided he did not want to travel to Springfield that weekend for wedding festivities and I was, as usual, disappointed. One of many disappointments in a well-hidden line. But this was probably God throwing in His wisdom.

So Sam, Lizzie and I headed off to Springfield during a torrential downpour on Friday, May 17th and it took forever to get there. By the time I made it through Chris’ front door, I was frazzled and soaked and ready to tear out my hair. I’m sure I looked quite the sight. As we came to the door, Jerri and Chris were there to take our bags, give us towels and welcome us. Jerri then introduced me to her brother that had flown in from Arizona to be an usher in the wedding. His name was Robbie. He was very handsome and very tall. He shook my hand, said “Hi nice to meet you, I don’t feel good, I’m going back to Jerri’s apartment.” Wala. He left. And I thought, ‘well that’s a fine how do you do’. (He apparently had eaten bad Taco Bell and was very sick from it but I didn’t know it at the time and to this day he won’t eat Taco Bell)

I’m sure I have great stories about that time period. Oh - probably like how I threw-up all over him the night after I met him. Or how I was sincerely impressed with the fact that his hand from tip of middle finger to the base of his palm is longer than a long-neck Miller Lite and then I, trying to be funny, asked him if it was true what they say? And he said, "What do they say?" (with an all knowing smirk, of course) and I, realizing what I'd said to an almost stranger, said "Men with big hands have big....gloves." Or how we ran out of alcohol in the middle of the Bachelorette Party and while on the Beerrun I also picked up a Playgirl magazine and he came back from the Bachelor Party just in time to catch three of us girls gawking unabashedly at the Centerfold. Yep, those are great tales to reminisce with the grandkids.

But in all honesty, there were also those moments when I wasn’t being lewd and lascivious that are forever etched in my memory. Like during the rehearsal when I looked up over the tops of the heads of the people in front of me and caught him looking at me and I couldn’t for the life of me look away. Or how during the rehearsal dinner I got stuck in the back between a bunch of people and he offered to get Sam and Lizzie refills on their soda since I couldn’t easily get out. Or how I was mortally embarrassed because I elbowed him in the ribs and nearly knocked him out of his chair after he made a joke about the soda refills and I realized he was in the middle of a prayer before he ate his dinner. And how he danced with me at the reception and I found out he was a phenomenal dancer and made me look like I almost knew what I was doing. How he kept giggling at me because I’d bitten my tongue and I kept saying ‘my tongue hurth’. And how he talked about his boys and how much he loved them and missed them. That part impressed me most of all, I think. The look he got when he talked about his kids. And how very much I wished I could stay in Springfield and get to know him better but had decided I needed to go home and work out the relationship I was in. And I truly tried. About a week after I got home, I wanted to talk about my misgivings and see if there was chance to work this thing out and when I said, “I’m not happy”, Steve packed his stuff up and moved out. Nothing about ‘what can we do’ or ‘I’m ready to do whatever it takes’. That was it. He moved out. End of that chapter.

I talked to Robbie a few times on the phone after that but not seriously until that July. He had decided to stay in Springfield for a while since he had accumulated a lot of vacation time on his job in Phoenix and then eventually, he officially moved to Springfield. We started talking on the phone. A LOT. He made a few trips up to see me and I went to Springfield to visit him. He told me he was falling in love with me and I think I freaked out. Then gained enough sense to tell him I was falling in love right back but that was after several weeks of the freaking out part.

He was having a hard time finding a good job in Springfield so in October, he moved back to Phoenix. I was more depressed about that than I let on. I knew the statistics of long distance relationships and I knew, too, that I usually ended up in with the statistic side of the crowd so while I was hopeful, I was also realistic.

We continued to talk on the phone even more. It worked out well. He was working at the Arizona Public School systems and could only work after school let out and because it was 2 hours earlier in Phoenix, my nights-free started at 7pm his time so we would sometimes talk until probably 2am. Of course, he was working the entire time but it was a lot of those deep conversations that you can really only get when your only means of communication is on the phone, not face to face and you feel more comfortable telling all your secrets. Probably something like this blog. I keep reading and editing it remembering other people will actually read it.

In March of 2003 he asked if I would come visit him in Arizona. Of course, my initial reaction was no. NO! What would I do with the kids? What would my parents say? And then, it just sort of unfolded. Bebe took the kids for the week, I just said I’m going to Phoenix and then he bought me a plane ticket and on March 27th, 2003 - I went. After several dilemmas, including losing my wallet which included my drivers license that I knew I couldn’t get on the plane without, I boarded from St. Louis International Airport and I headed off in my cute little black knock-em-dead dress. He picked me up and after 6 months, it was like we had never been apart.

He was working about 2 hours out of Phoenix so we had quite a drive and of course, talked the whole way. We got to his hotel in Show Low, Arizona and he was the epitome of a gentleman. He’d had his car brought up from Phoenix even though he had a company truck so I would have a way to get around, he had everything I could want or need right there and I was ready to have a fabulous time. That very first night he told me he had a poem that he had written for me and he wanted to read it to me. It was his story of us, condensed into a poem and it was very funny. At the very end of the poem, his face got red and he said, “I can’t finish it.” My reaction “Hell-O! FINISH IT ALREADY” And after a few hems and haws, he did. It was not at all what I expected. The last line was “Would you do me the honor of being my wife?” I think I choked. I’m sure my jaw hit the floor and for a full one tension filled minute, I just stared owl-eyed. He was the first to recover and explained that was not the reaction he was hoping for. I was still choking, I think. I look back now and think “DUDE – NO BRAINER!” But I was scared. I’d been down that road before and I had been seriously hurt, almost to the point of no recovery. And I’d come back, better than before and vowed to myself I’d never let another human being put me in the position of being so vulnerable, so defenseless and so beaten down that I couldn’t find myself anymore. And as much as I loved Robbie, I didn’t want to go back to that.

It took me two days to realize I wouldn’t be going “back to that”. It took me two days to realize I was staring at the best thing (besides my kids) that could ever happen to me. It took me two days to realize he was my soulmate and he wanted to share his life with me. So while he was 15 feet up on a ladder in a school in Show Low Arizona, I looked up at him, said “By the way.....YES!” and the rest, as they say, is history. We got married 3 months later.

There you have it. I'm sure there are more details and I'm sure I left some out but that's the 'Story of Us'.

This just in...

2008-09-12T14:43:00.000-05:00

Private Eye Babe here, reporting on the growing popularity of a previously mentioned phenomenon hitting Blogworld called…The Meme. My initial investigation has turned up some pretty interesting findings. Apparently blogging and meme’s go together like peas and carrots, or Forrest and Jen-nay. From the American Heritage Dictionary: meme (mēm) n. A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another. To this point, I, too, am asking what the heck does that have to do with blogging. Let me explain further, friends. That definition apparently does not pertain to the blogging type of meme’s. In Blogworld, a meme is an idea or question that is passed among blogs. Say I post a question/statement regarding how you feel about something. An example would be to refer to my AHA blog below and then ask for any personal experiences, etc. You then share your take on it with others by talking about it on your blog, linking to mine and commenting on my post. I could name it something like ‘Tuesday’s Take’. I think even something like Wordless Wednesday would also be considered somewhat of a meme since I’ve seen it repeated on many other blogs. Not that I started that one, I copied it from someone’s blog, probably Elizabeth’s. So there you have it, folks. The meme has been explained. Private Eye Babe, at your service. I need more to investigate. Gimme ideas.

I would also like to do a little plug here for Jillian Michael’s ‘The 30 Day Shred’. It’s a relatively new workout DVD and HOLY COW is it awesome. I am loving it. Thank you, Sabrina, for suggesting it! I am on my second week and already I feel stronger and healthier. Sam and Lizzie are doing it with me, too. We’ll all be toned and firmed up and tight in no time. I have 2 girls at work that I’ve started on it. They like it as much as I do!

Ahhh…it’s Friday. What would be a good Friday Meme. Maybe I should look up what other folks are Memeing about on Friday. I think I saw one a long time ago so I’ll just do this Friday Four. Four things you cannot live without. Or Four things you think you cannot live without. Mine are as follows:

1. My God
2. My Family
3. My books
4. Mashed potatoes

There you have it. My essentials. Have a wonderful weekend and give me your Friday Four.

Blogdom Arise!

2008-09-11T12:01:00.000-05:00

Did you know that there is a whole big bloggy world out there? You can do give-aways, you can get paid to blog about stuff (Fish Oil People – I want my money!), you can do these meme things ( I don’t know, I’m still researching and will make a full report once my covert mission is accomplished). I was traipsing around the blogworld and came across all these cool blogs where women do crafty things, moms do extraordinary things with their kids or husbands and then they all blog about and comment on each others crafty extraordinary family things. Is this one of those clicky things like high school? You know. OHMYGAWD Beth, look at Jenna’s new parachute pants! Lets go buy some in every color. LIKE, totally. OR is this just another way for women to reach out to other women to cope/deal/manage/empower their daily lives? I have a few blogs I read daily, or when they are updated and I don’t put them on my blogroll because I’m not sure if they would want me to link to them. I guess I could ask. I haven’t asked yet because I would feel like a cyberstalker. Although with my bloggy blinders coming off, I am thinking this would actually be acceptable behavior for me to comment a random blogger with “Hey, love your blog, can I add you to my blogroll?” Maybe I should. I’ll let you know how that one goes too.

I started thinking I might actually like to get into this click. I was never really a click kind of girl. Ok, fine. I had ONE pair of parachute pants. But I’m not sure my blog is what they are looking for. I mean, mine is for my own personal triumphs, failures, struggles. My own personal stuff. I write about whatever is going through my mind that particular day, or I use it as a soapbox to get out my views on things or just to tell the happenstance viewer about my family. I don’t do crafty, I don’t take my kids to every single opportunity thing happening, I’m not in a mom’s club, never caught the scrapbook bug, not really a big social network kind of gal. So I don’t think I am what they are looking for, let alone my blog. Not that I mind. At all. I’ve never been a conformist and I do NOT intend to start now. I do my own thing and if it’s considered IN, then well, fine. If not, well then fine too. I’m not easily swayed by fads or whatever is vogue.

I’m just amazed, though, by this blogworld that I’ve unknowingly been a part of for four years. Was this hype all going on four years ago? I have no idea. Do I want to delve myself into this all consuming world of network-come-self-journalism? I don’t think so. I will continue to post things about my life or my views or my family or the occasional goose or two. I will continue to read the blogs that interest me. I may be so inclined to add an advertisement or two, please reference the blogaholics anonymous icon in the left margin. But I don’t think I’m that ‘in’ to the rest of it. And it’s ok if you are. I thought Jenna looked awesome in her rainbow suite of parachute pants. I really did. But the swish-swish of conformity clamor just wasn’t my style then and it still isn’t.

We will never forget...

2008-09-11T09:25:00.001-05:00

Non Wordless Wednesday

2008-09-10T10:17:00.000-05:00

I realize this part is obvious now – this is not going to be Wordless Wednesday.

After my divorce, I used to have nightmares all the time. I woke up with the sheets all torn off the bed, laying in pools of sweat, heart beating triple time and couldn’t go back to sleep. After I married Robbie, I’d wake up to him trying to cope with the current nights terror. After some time, they subsided and I rarely have dreams like that anymore. In fact, I think it’s been a really, really long time since the last. But - I had a very disturbing one last night and most of the time I don’t like to talk about the bad ones. I don’t think I’ll go into detail – maybe that’s good, maybe that’s bad – should I get it off my chest and quit worrying about it? Maybe that’s why I’m typing it out. I’m sure I’ll talk to Robbie about it. I think he’s the only one that really knows I had/have these nightmares. Well, obviously not anymore. Now my 3 readers know. Anyway, this one wasn’t like the old ones but it left me with a deep sense of sorrow and grief and I’m having a hard time shaking that feeling today. I’m just glad, so glad it was a dream. I am glad I was able to wake realizing that what I was experiencing was not real, my grief would go away and I could go hug my kids and start my day. I know too many people that wake up realizing their grief is not a dream, it is their reality and I pray for them. Everyday. One thing that has been a surprising good thing for me is a quote by Plato “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Here are some photos, hopefully will make up for the lack of laughter today.

Wordless...Thursday?

2008-09-04T13:39:00.000-05:00

I'm tired today and do not feel like posting much of a blog. It's been a very long week. Between Asthma, Allergies and broken arms, our little family has donated it's fair share of time to Doctors Offices, Emergency Rooms and Pharmacies since Saturday. SO - 'Wordless Wednesday' has been postponed until today - these are from our weekend at the Valley. Enjoy!

Laughter is the Best Medicine!

2008-08-29T11:15:00.000-05:00

I love to make people laugh. I think it’s just ingrained in me to give people a reason to guffaw, chuckle, chortle, rofl, or lmao. I am also one of those people who – no matter how very hard I try not to – I DO care what other people think and the highest compliments someone can give me is: a.) I think you are so smart! Or b.) I think you are so funny! So for my sister to comment and say she had tears rolling down her cheeks laughing because of my last blog – I was extremely flattered! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much, keep it coming!

We are off to the Valley this weekend. I am planning on getting LOTS of photos so Wordless Wednesday next week may be quite picturesque. At least I’m hoping it will. I’m just happy to be getting THE HECK OUT OF HERE for a while. Yes, I was yelling that part.

So – my smiles and I leave you until Tuesday.

My son. He is learning to do laundry and he actually LIKES it !?!?
Making people laugh. Explanation above.
A good book. I’m reading a good one now! I’ll probably add a great book list to the side margin – this will definitely be included.
Thursday after weigh-in. Yep, I was up. Nope, I’m not all that upset because I wasn’t up all that much and I blew it big this week. But I’ve decided – the Thursday after weigh-in is cheat night. I can eat anything I want and not feel guilty. Of course, last night it was (yes I know it sounds gross) pizza, tater tots and spaghetti! MMmmm I could feel the carbs hit my thighs.
Sabrina. During weigh in we got these sample little Weight Watcher bars. I was really really hungry because of course I hadn’t eaten hardly anything all day because of the dreaded weigh in so when I got in my car to leave, I opened it and ate it immediately and then felt guilty and then didn’t because it was, after all, Thursday Night Cheat Night. And then I though of Bebe – my thoughts went something like this “SHE probably still has her little fruit bar. SHE probably will wait until after a sensible dinner or maybe have it as a bedtime snack. SHE probably won’t eat hers so fast that she has a hard time swallowing because she shoved nearly the whole thing in her mouth. I wonder if SHE will think it tasted kinda like cardboard with fruit bits pushed down into it.” So just a little bit later, SHE calls:

Bebe: Babe, did you eat your fruit bar yet? (Thought: Great, she’s going to hold me accountable and I cannot lie to her)
Babe: YEP. Surrre did!
Bebe: Me too, it was gone by the time I made it to Highway N.
Babe: At least you made it that far. Mine was gone before I pulled out of the parking lot.

HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND!

Remember – it’s the last Hoorah! of the Summer of 2008

Today's Forecast: HAPPY AND FUNNY

2008-08-28T15:42:00.001-05:00

I have been advised to keep my blog happy and funny instead of maudlin and intense. In response to said recommendation, it will depend upon my mood as to if a funny and happy blog is recorded. As we’ve already established, my mood is not always chipper and positive. But I’m working on it. I really am.

I have been banned from going to a few places close to work during lunchtime because if I frequent these preferred merchandisers during my half-hour of midday freedom, I am always late. Always. So I have to go after work. Yesterday, it was The Goodwiller. Go with me here – you’ll understand the -er in a moment. That’s the funny part. I sometimes shop at the Goodwiller since the kids grow out of pants in an hour. And for this reason, I also refuse to spend a ton of money on jeans. I can save a lot of money and buy gently used brand name stuff and the most expensive piece of clothing I bought was $6 and it was for Ambercrombie pants. Ta Da!

The Goodwiller is also full of other good stuff and I love to just roam around, look at all the junk (ahem) good stuff. Sometimes they have really good stuff and it’s new! Store tags on still!!

So yesterday, I am just meandering up and down the aisles and I’m thinking to myself, I love the Goodwiller. And that got me thinking. Why do I call it Goodwiller? I think it is my mom’s fault. So I called my mom. Here’s the conversation. Keep in mind this is over the “loud speaker” while my dad is in the background talking on his cellphone on his “loud speaker” and my sister is there texting me dirty messages that really come out not dirty because her predictive text changes dirty words to clean words. FYI: Sabrina is Bebe. I (Catrina) am Babe.

Bebe: BABE. Where are you? Are you coming over to moms?
Babe: No I’m not coming over to moms, I was at the Goodwiller and I am on my way home now.
Bebe: Didn’t you get my message?
Babe: What message? Did you text?
Bebe: No, I sent you an e-mail.
Babe: What time?
Bebe: Hell-O. 4:30!
Babe: I didn’t get it.
Bebe: Maybe you should get your e-mail more often.
Babe: I got it as I was leaving at FIVE and there were not ANY messages from you.
Bebe: I got Outlook now. Why do all your e-mails ask for a read receipt?
Babe: I have it set up that way.
More conversation on the read receipt and why I have it set up that way and why do I even bother when the reader can say NO.
Bebe (to Aunt Emma on dad’s cell phone): Hi Aunt Emma.
Aunt Emma: HI Sabrina
Babe (to Aunt Emma on dad’s cell phone): Hi Aunt Emma.
Aunt Emma: WHAT?
Dad: That was Catrina, she says Hi.
Aunt Emma: OH HI Catrina.
Babe: How are you?
Silence.
Silence.
Babe: Hello?
Babe: Hello?
End Call

TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM BEBE CELL: DITCH.
TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM MOM CELL: 636577****
TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM MOM CELL: Citch bunt. (Obviously penned by Bebe)

Ring Ring:
Bebe: Why did you hang up on me?
Babe: I didn’t hang up on YOU. I hung up after I couldn’t hear anything
Bebe: Did you get my text message?
Babe: Yes I did. You can go ‘sips’ up a rope.
Bebe: Did you get moms text message?
Babe: Yep, She’s going to make me a bunt cake.
Bebe (to mom) NOW she thinks you’re going to make her a bunt cake.
Mom: I don’t even know HOW to text. That wasn’t from me.
Bebe: So where are you?
Babe: I was at the Goodwiller.
Bebe: Why were you at the Goodwill?
Babe: Buying jeans for Lizzie and Sam.
Bebe: Hopefully it wasn’t any of the pants I just gave to Goodwill.
Babe: Me too. Why do we call it the Goodwiller? Who started that?
Bebe: I don’t call it the Goodwiller.
Mom: I don’t remember. I think it was Sam. NO wait, it was Lizzie. NO wait! It was you [Babe] that started it. I overheard you one day talking to John (our old dog) who was being bad or something (probably crapped in the family room again) and you told him if he wasn’t good, mom was going to give him to the Goodwiller.

Conversation went on from there. I think there was more conversation within this dialog, but the gist of the entire thing – it took me two phone calls (actually three because Bebe hung up on me trying to get me on the speaker phone), three texts and about 15 minutes to get the answer to my question.

SMILES:

Anticipation of the LONG weekend!
Photos.
Family.
Good days.
Tater tots.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - Summer Fun, Celebrating St. Louis, Back to School

2008-08-27T08:26:00.001-05:00

AHA!

2008-08-26T15:43:00.000-05:00

My doctor has told me in the past to stay off webmd.com. Simply because I try to diagnose myself and of course more oft than not, I am completely wrong. Here are my past incorrect diagnosis’: (WHAT is the plural of diagnosis? Diagnoses, diagnosises??)

Lock Jaw
Stroke
Heart Attack
Fractured Foot
Pneumonia
Diabetes
Brain tumor

Now, mind you this has been over the past ten years or so - NO I am NOT a hypochondriac. I just get these weird symptoms sometimes that are truly nothing at all to worry about until I go to … (drum roll) THE SYMPTOM CHECKER. For God’s sake, have you ever checked symptoms on there? I am POSITIVE I am not the only one who misdiagnosed herself with something major after being on there. Hence – the doctor’s statement “Catrina. DO NOT go on webmd.com EVER again.” Or something to that effect.

But I often wonder if one particular diagnosis was correct. I worry, truly worry, that I suffer from clinical depression. Sometimes I get in these moods that I just can’t get out of. I know, everyone gets down and I know, everyone has problems – most of them a lot worse than my problems. I’ve heard it all and it makes me all the more depressed. Is that why 80% of American people today are on some sort of anti-depressant? Is that why the CDC says anti-depressants are the most commonly prescribed medication? There’s a book out there called “Artificial Unhappiness: The Dark Side of the New Happy Class” by Dr. Dworkin or something like that. In it, he says “Too many people take drugs when they really need to be making changes in their lives." I don’t want to be on an anti-depressant and I don’t want to be a statistic. Is it a inherited? Is it a chemical imbalance? Am I just friggin’ sad?

I do know of some changes I need to make. I need to get back with God. And I honestly believe that right there is the sole (soul) problem. I think there really are people that suffer from chemical imbalances that need the prescriptions, etc. but I also think, after thinking it through-typing it out really-that I am not one of them. God needs to be first in my life again. I have much that has drifted in front of Him, some knowingly and some unknowingly. I need to remember this whole thing about life - it is not about ME. I was reading a book yesterday and one statement in particular jumped out at me so much that for the first time in a very long time, I reached for a highlighter along with a pen and paper so I could remember it, write it down and dwell on it.

“For only if we let Him in, can He pull us out”.

Out of the muck and mire of our world. Out of the depths of despair that sometimes overtake us because we live in a fallen world that is completely selfish, imperfect and all about self self self and why self isn’t getting what self deserves. Looking at it that why, no wonder 80% of the population needs an outside resource to be seen as happy and well adjusted! If self got what self REALLY deserves according the Bible, self would be rotting in The Sulfur Pit also knows as H-E-double hockey sticks.

Wow. And try to make a smile list after that. HA

Enlightenment. It’s good to know I’m not suffering from clinical depression.
Cucumbers. My pastor gave me a HUGE bag of cucumbers and I’ve nearly made myself sick.
My brother. I haven’t talked to him in a few days but I think I’ve said it before. He’s the kind of guy I need in my life when I need to hear the truth. It’s not always what I want to hear. Not some trumped up, nerve-soothing speech but the honest truth, which sometimes I really do not WANT to hear but NEED to. Example “Catrina – no wonder you feel like your life is screwed up right now, IT IS! Get back to God where you belong!”
Weather. Again, it’s beautiful.
Hope. ‘Nuf said.

I leave you with another highlighted portion of my book…

His will, or yours?

May I have a blogroll please!!

2008-08-25T09:24:00.000-05:00

My good friend Elizabeth has a blogroll. She has a list of interesting & friends blogs on the margin of her blog. She included me in her list so maybe...just maybe...I'll score some more traffic. I love reading other peoples blogs but especially when I know more about that person. In that tradition, I've decided to start my own blogroll. Of course, I only have three at the moment: Elizabeth's and my Aunts and Stef's, but I'm not sure she still blogs. For any new people that happen upon my pages. Comment - tell me what you like/think, I'll add you to the blogroll and we can become Blog Buddies. How cute is that?

Also, some smiles from the past few days, but without the lengthy explanations. These are just things that made me smile:
1. THE WEEKEND!
2. A vegetable garden
3. Cardinals Baseball
4. A long family bike ride
5. A mulberry bush
6. My family
7. My friends
8. Sleeping late
9. Lazy days
10. BEAUTIFUL weather!

Lizzie's Letter

2008-08-22T14:59:00.001-05:00

Remember when I said I was going to write Lizzie a letter for her 10th birthday? Well, as busy as we got I was never able to do that for her. I did write one over the course of this past week and I've finished it and plan on giving it to her this weekend. I folded it up like back when we used to pass notes in Junior High and wrote on the outside and everything. I'm absolutely sure she will love it and cherish it - well, I hope she will. So instead of a smile list today, I've dediced to post a copy of her letter. Of course, this is the typed version - I wrote hers by hand. Seems more personal this way. Tell me what you think...

My letter to Lizzie, 2008

Dear Lizzie,

I was going to write you this letter for your birthday but as you can see I am quite late in getting it to you.

Know how you always write me little notes saying how much you love me and that I’m the best mommy in the world? Well I figured that since I love getting those notes so much and they make me happy, that I would write you one back just to tell you I love you.

You were right that when I first found out I was going to have a baby that I didn’t want a girl. In fact, I cried when I found out you weren’t a boy. But I tell you – I quickly adjusted and was soon very happy! I got excited about you, especially when I saw all the cute little dresses I could put on you. I cannot imagine now having all those boys in my house and I truly cannot imagine my life without my Lizzie. I have loved you more than anything in this world since before you born. You are such a sweet, loving little girl! I like when we do things together – like when we watch girly movies, we go camping, we play games!

Of all the things I have ever done in my entire life or will ever do, the thing I am most proud of is that I am your mom.

I love you very much and you are the best daughter in the whole wide world.

Love,

Mommy

Wordless Wednesday - Answered Prayers and Gratitude

2008-08-20T08:41:00.000-05:00

2008-08-19T12:52:00.000-05:00

So I was lax and didn’t get anything posted yesterday. I was actually pretty busy. Was going to post the smiles from the weekend but didn’t get around to it. So here’s an all-inclusive list from Friday through Yesterday:

1. MY KIDS ARE HOME! I am very grateful they are home. This year was worse on me than ever. I’ll just leave it at that but they had a blast.
2. Movies! We took the kids to see Rocket Man at the dollar show Sunday. They saw it while in North Carolina but wanted to “take us” to see it so we all went and it was a very good movie. Fun doing that kind of thing with them.
3. Good Times! One of my friends got married in Vegas about a month ago then had a reception on Saturday night. It was great fun connecting with old friends and having a good time.
4. Bike Rides! The kids and I have gone on a bike ride the last two days. Granted, mom doesn’t go very far because she is so very out of shape, but hence the bike riding: I’m getting in shape even if it kills me!
5. Weight Loss! Another good week!
6. School Starts Today! I know – I’m over my five but I have 3 days worth of stuff to post here so it’s ok. Sam, Liz and I went yesterday morning for Sam’s football physical and then went to their schools to get a feel for class location, etc. They had a great time and were very excited to get back in school. Funny. I don’t remember being excited AT ALL. I’m glad they enjoy it and I hope that lasts!
7. My brother! Left me a voice mail yesterday as ‘Catholic Guy’. If you don’t know, I cannot explain it by a mere written word. Ask me sometime and I’ll tell you. If you do know, then you know I did not just smile but gut laughed!
8. My sisters! Each in their own way support me and encourage me so very much.

Tomorrow – I’m instituting Wordless Wednesday. It’ll be all pictures – maybe just one, maybe more. But you’ll see. Hopefully I remember.

And I’m asking for prayers. I have three VERY hot irons in the fire regarding new employment and I’m hoping one of them is THE place for me!

SMILE! Smile big!

2008-08-14T09:57:00.001-05:00

I didn’t get my list posted yesterday. I thought about and then apparently forgot. I think sometimes I’m very airheaded. So here is my list from yesterday:

1. Practical Joke retaliation: This is technically a leftover from Tuesday but it has been ongoing since the hanging of the Aflac duck. I got to work Tuesday and he was hanging from my overhead shelf. I got totally busted trying to hang him from her ceiling. I’ve added length to his noose and am waiting patiently for an obscure moment to finish what I started.
2. Inspirations: Another leftover from Tuesday. As you know, Bebe and I joined Weight Watchers together and I got to see her Tuesday night. It seems like her weight is just flying off and she looks fabulous! She’s my inspiration to keep trudging along.
3. Family: Yes, again. My family is a huge part of my existence. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve held each other up when we’ve lost loved ones and we’ve watched each other soar during great moments and everything in between. I’m just happy to be a part of so a close-knit unit and that I can do my part holding up and witnessing the soars.
4. Homemade Ranch Dressing: I know, its stupid but I LOVE homemade buttermilk ranch and I made some the other day and brought it with me to work. Carrots and homemade buttermilk ranch. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mm!
5. More fresh tomatoes: I was able to pick about ten more ripe tomatoes from the abandoned garden next door. Well. They’re not really abandoned. I found out the new neighbors are moving in soon and they’ve been doing some work over there. At one point, they took all the ripe tomatoes so I had to wait for new ones. I know, how dare they!

And I have a big smile for today! My Sammy and my Lizzie come home tomorrow. YAY!

Tell me how you like the new layout and the new title. Be sure to read the reason for the title, too. Comments are not required but appreciated very much!

:-)

2008-08-12T13:28:00.000-05:00

Smiles from Monday!

1. I have to say – the weather! How crazy is it that we’ve had temperatures in the 70’s and 80’s in August in St. Louis? I love it! I sat outside on my deck last night until about 11pm just enjoying…
2. My parents. Again. I got a voicemail last night from my mom to call my dad on his cell phone. I tried dad’s cell phone, straight to his voicemail. Tried to call mom back on her cell phone, straight to voicemail. Called the house. She said call dad back on his cell phone in a few minutes because he had both cell phones taken apart. That’s my daddy!

3. Matthew – he called last night to tell us how his first week of school went. He’s doing great, only forgot his locker combination “a few times” and has joined the ROTC program!
4. Simple Fixes. I love it when something breaks or has a problem and I find out it’s a simple fix. I had a coworker with a computer problem that we thought was going to be a long drawn out process to correct but turns out it was a matter of uninstalling and reinstalling a program!
5. Practical Jokes. Yep. I’m a practical joker. I played one on Terry (another coworker) after everyone left the office. She has a stuffed Aflac duck and I hung it by a noose from her overhead lights. And – tomorrow’s smile list will be including the retaliation list.

This smile list is not only a good way to stay upbeat and positive, but it is turning out to be a good way to at least post something to the blog everyday. I’m not sure it’s all that informative as far as what’s going on in my life, but hey – it’s something new to read, right?

Sam and Lizzie come home on Friday. Halleluiah! This year I have missed them more than any other year. Maybe that’s why my world seems so off track right now – who knows?

Monday Morning...

2008-08-11T14:11:00.000-05:00

I have a smile list and then some...

First of all, my smile list from the weekend. I'll keep it to five but I'm sure there were more.

1. Hanging out with good friends. There's really nothing like just being with a friend who knows almost everything about you. Chris and I share alot of history and I loved just getting to hang out.
2. New Shoes! Chris' mom, who thinks of me as a third daughter, had to buy new tennis shoes for a surgery on her toe but never wore them and didn't want to keep them so she gave them to me! I think that's kind of like enabling someone/codependency/feeding a fetish but hey, FREE SHOES! HELLO!
3. A fixed speedometer. While we were in Springfield, my mom and dad's neighbor fixed my instrument panel for me and now I have a working speedometer. I was driving to work this morning, doing just a bit over the speed limit and cannot believe how unbelievably slow I felt like I was driving. I DO NOT even want to know how fast I was driving pre-speedometer fix. I'm glad it's working.
4. My family. I'm adding this smile today because I actually read my comments yesterday via my cell phone. I have two of the greatest sisters that God ever invented. Isn't it funny how our families are just what we need when we need them to be? I have a poem hanging on my wall that starts off "Sister - God knew that I would need you...." and how true. He knew what He was doing when He gave me Stephanie and Sabrina. And He knew I would need Randy too. Randy's the guy I can call at any time and he'll tell me straight what I need to hear wether I want to hear it or not. And yes, that is a good thing.
5. My mom and dad. Reading Bebe's smile list about my mom and dad sitting in the heat, drinking a beer together and being happy made me smile, because I can picture them too. They are so cute. And we -as in my siblings and I- really are who we are because of them.

Elizabeth posted a blog about "Have You" and it's a list of things you either have or haven't done and I am supposed to post it with the things I've done highlighted. I would also like to ask anybody who reads this to make their "Have You" list, too. Maybe Bebe should just get herself a blog. Stef has one - she should update it with the Have You list. So just copy and paste this list in your blog, and bold the things that you have done. Here's my list:

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten tipsy on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse of both the sun and moon
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had/Have amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted a river
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in a Rocky Horror Picture Show
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge – I HAD THE CHANCE, CHICKENED OUT!
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept 30 hours in a 48 hour time frame
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read “The Iliad”
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

There you are. My have you's.

Happy Birthday, Jess.

Smiles from Thursday

2008-08-08T15:21:00.000-05:00

Smile List:

1. Comments! I got on my blog yesterday to post the smile list and noticed I had a comment. I got so excited I almost put that in yesterdays smile list but I quickly remembered that I am posting smiles from the day before so I couldn’t wait to actually post this one today. YAY!
2. Weight Loss. Again, seemingly small at only .2 (yes that is POINT 2) but hey, better than being up.
3. Sabrina. She’s attending weight watchers with me and yesterday she lost .8. (yes, POINT). She was being funny and said… POINT 8? POINT?? Can’t even be a pound?? And then realized that together with my POINT 2 and her POINT 8, we made a pound and that made us both smile.
4. Robbie. He just makes me smile everyday. He was in a play at Clayton Community Theatre and played the part of Captain Keller, Helen Keller’s father in ‘The Miracle Worker’. For the part, he grew a mustache and goatee. He looked good but I think he looks better clean-shaven and he shaved yesterday. He is so handsome.
5. Kisses. I also love Robbie’s clean-shaven kisses and I got some kisses yesterday!

SO there’s my list…. still waiting on comments. I won’t be able to post a list again until Monday. Robbie and I are headed off to Springfield for the weekend as soon as work lets out. So my post Monday will be my smiles from the weekend. Who knows – maybe there will be more than 5!

Smiles....

2008-08-07T15:08:00.000-05:00

Today’s smile list:

1. Jewelry. A co-worker used to sell Premier Jewelry and has recently decided she no longer wanted to sell it. She brought in all her samples that she didn’t want and sold them for CHEAP! I got some stuff that I really liked and it made me smile.
2. My mom and dad. Since Robbie has been working late, I decided yesterday I’d go hang out with my mom and dad for a while after work and anytime I do that, it just makes me smile!!
3. A date. I had some gift cards for Red Lobster and last night, Robbie and I met there and had a dinner date. It was great fun.
4. Seeing old friends. One of the waitresses at Red Lobster was a girl I grew up across the street from. It was great fun catching up with her and seeing how much she’s done with her life!!
5. Siblings. I talked to all three of my siblings yesterday (well one I played phone tag with) and all three made me smile. I love them dearly.

So there you go. My smile list. You know what would be cool is if anyone decides they have a smile list or just maybe an extra smile moment they could comment with it !!???!!! Please !!!???!!

Sending a smile your way....

2008-08-06T10:54:00.000-05:00

I’ve decided to try to make a list everyday (well I'll try for everyday but don't scoff if I don't make it) of the five things that made me happy/smile from the day before. That way I can focus on the happy things and not the things that make me sad! So here’s my first list.

1. The kids are in North Carolina again visiting Grandma and Poppy. They love it there and get to do all sorts of fun things. Sam’s voice is changing and he sounds like a man these days. A few days ago he called me at work and said “HI MOM” and it sounded really low. I tried to imitate him and tell him how he sounded – in my fake-not-really-even-close baritone voice. I called to see how they were doing in NC on my way home from work yesterday and when Sam answered he said “HI MOM” in his imitation of my imitation-fake-not-really-even-close baritone. Very cute. And it made me smile.
2. The people that were rehabbing the house next door suddenly moved out and stopped all progress. They are not the owners of the home but were rehabbing for the owner and there was a fight or something so they moved out. NO – that is not what made me happy. What DID make me happy is that they planted tomato plants this past spring on the side of the house right next to our house and as they were leaving, the guy said “Help yourself to the tomatoes!” but before he left, he took all the ripe ones off so I’ve been waiting. Wallah! Yesterday – SEVEN!!! YAY! HUGE SMILE!
3. Our new puppy Zeus is not a very good listener. He’s learning though and that’s a good thing, but he’s still a puppy inside and doesn’t like to do what he’s told. Normally after he’s done eating it takes a bit of yelling and shoving to get him back off the deck so we can close the gate. Yesterday, I just pointed and said firmly “OUT” – and he did it. Good boy! And I smiled.
4. Robbie has been working overtime. He is now scheduled to work 12-16 hour days until Friday. Which, granted, I hate not getting to spend the time together, but it will help us financially and that’s what makes me smile. Actually – my husband in general makes me smile.
5. So. Since Robbie is working late and since the kids are in North Carolina, I actually had a little time to myself yesterday to just be. I made my dinner, grabbed a lemonade and sat in front of the TV to watch a movie. Granted I probably should’ve been exercising or doing something more productive but that smile came in the form of a little down time.

I did have a sixth thing yesterday so I'll add a side bar here. Encouraging, positive e-mails from Bebe. It's nice to know I'm loved like that. Right back at ya Bebe. I hope you know that you are loved like that, too.

I think I’m finally getting back on the right track with God. He and I have had a lot of sorting and fixing. Well, obviously He doesn’t need to be fixed, but I do. And we’re finally working it out. And when you’re off track, even in the slightest bit, it makes the rest of your world seem off kilter. So here I am Lord – ready to get back in the saddle.

And what’s cool so far today – I’m already seeing moments as “smile moments” for tomorrow’s update. Don’t worry folks – I’m on it!

Thoughts...

2008-07-25T15:53:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to blog lately. Started and stopped several times but have not actually posted for several reasons. A. I have not had time. B. The words are just a jumble in my head. C. I’m still soaking in that melancholy mood. I have lots and lots that I could whine or complain about. Let me rephrase that. I have lots and lots of things that in my puny little realm of the world I feel warrant a few whines or complaints but I’m continually trying to see the big picture.

For instance, I want a new job. NOW. I have probably 100+ resumes floating around out there and a very real lack of response to these resumes. I had my hands on-this close-to a job that would’ve skyrocketed my career, not to mention boost my salary by about 80%. I was in the running to the end but alas – they ‘hired from within’. UGH. Smack my forehead and bring me a tall one. However, I do know that it’s all in God’s time. If He wants me to have that high falutin’ big salary job, He’ll get it for me. So I’m trying to remain positive and remember – it could be worse. I could have missed that big job while unemployed. Or homeless. Or alone. There are lot’s of ‘ors’.

Another instance. I want a new house. NOW. With gas prices being what they are and our home being so far out, Rob and I spend over $1,200 per month in gas. I know, Rob could get a smaller vehicle. But would the price of a new vehicle car payment be more than the gas? And our house is so tiny and seems to grow smaller by the day. Ever heard of the phrase “the walls were closing in”? Well. They are. But, again trying to see the big picture, one of my very good friends has to move this weekend because her husband lost his job and they can no longer afford their home. So. It could be worse.

There are lots more instances, too. But I will refrain from going on because again, I feel I’m just whining about stupid stuff. I try think about all the ‘ors’.

So the remainder of my blog will be about Gratitude. I will list what I am grateful for. Of course in no particular order, I will just type as they come to my mind.

Gratitude: grat·i·tude –noun [grat-i-tood, -tyood] the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful

Things that I am very grateful for:
1. My God.
2. Answered prayers.
3. My husband. I could spell out so very much right here. He grocery shops. He cooks. He does dishes. He coaches Sam’s baseball team. He is never without a hug for me. He holds me up when I’m ready to break down – which is often these days. He’s wonderful with the kids. He puts his stuff away. He never yells. Shall I continue? Because I can, you know.
4. My kids.
5. My mother.
6. My father.
7. My sisters.
8. My brother.
9. My nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.
10. My friends.
11. A car that runs.
12. New paint in the bedroom and on the bedroom furniture.
13. My job. Ugh, yes. I said it. I guess the fact that I have one.
14. My home.
15. Weekends.
16. 5:00pm Weekdays.
17. Weight loss, even though it seems minimal at times.
18. A good nights sleep.
19. Sunshine
20. Rain
21. Home grown vegetables
22. My new mascara
23. My good days
24. Getting to go camping.
25. New friends

Maybe I should stop at 25. Thanks for indulging me. I’m having a really hard time lately – probably more of those instances above that I prefer not to talk about but wrestle with constantly. I read somewhere that when you’re feeling blue to spell out all that you are grateful for and reflect on it. So now – I will be in my moments of reflection.

Melancholy today...

2008-06-30T10:04:00.000-05:00

Time seems to be flying by. I think I understand now what they mean by you pick up speed when you go over the hill and start rolling down. Not that I’m over the hill yet. Or maybe I am – realizing lately that if I live to be 76 I am now……M I D D L E A G E D. Good Lord, when did that happen?

My friend Elizabeth has to be one of the most organized people I know and she is really involved with her kids. Not that every other mother I know is not involved – she has more time. She is a stay at home mommy and does cool things for and with her children. Read her blog (link to the right) and you’ll see what I mean. She is also very good at chronicling her life and that of her children. One of the coolest things she does is write them letters. Her daughter just turned 5 and she wrote her a “5th Birthday Letter”. I’m sure she’s written 1, 2, 3 and 4 also (as well as others) and has them stashed away so when Katie grows up, she’ll have this stack of letters to read from her mom. How cool would that be? Lizzie turns 10 Saturday. TEN! My babies are all growing up. So, in Elizabeth Tradition, I have decided to write Lizzie a letter. Maybe I’ll post it, I don’t know. I’ll think on that one.

Matthew has come and gone. He was here for a month and I wish I could’ve hidden him away so he would have to stay longer. I threatened to lock him in the basement until his flight left. I think he was sad to go but probably happy to get home. His mama has got to be missing him more than ever, especially since Drew is gone. Maybe next year he’ll get to spend the whole summer. I am hoping, as is Robbie.

We finally finished the bedroom. I think it turned out fabulous! I’ll post pictures when I can.

Nathan & Nicole got married on June 14th. What a great wedding! They were married at Stef and Dan’s outside. Beautiful weather for the day and everyone was able to attend. They went off to the Florida Keys for two weeks for their honeymoon. See what I mean about getting old?? My baby nephew is MARRIED!

Sabrina and I have joined Weight Watchers and Curves together. So far we are doing good. We walked in the Susan Komen Race for the Cure together too. That was a lot of fun.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Again – time is just flying by.

2008-05-07T14:32:00.000-05:00

I feel like I always start my blogs as if I were in the middle of a conversation with someone. Maybe starting is what makes me a slacker in the updating department. Or maybe it’s the fact that every time I think about updating, I’m driving in the car. I had a job interview this morning at 7am (more on that later) and I was thinking I wish I had a laptop. That way when I’m in the middle of a massive traffic jam, I could just jot a few things down on WordPad or something. But I guess if it’s a major traffic jam I should be concentrating on not rear-ending the car in front me instead of typing on a laptop.

Also on the way to my job interview I was next to this big semi full of chickens, hundreds and hundred of chickens. I don’t think I’d ever seen a truck full of chickens before. And they were live ones – well most of them were alive. It looked like some had succumbed to the shock and trauma of being shoved 100 deep in a screened in trailer and driven down the road at 70 miles per hour. But for the most part, they were live ones. I have been trying to figure out how to top my goose story since it’s my favorite blog entry and I was trying to think of way I could link the trailer of chickens to a cool story but none came to mind. I can’t figure out how a truck full of dirty chickens is like anything else. It’s quite an interesting sight.

Anyway – about my job interview. It was with a major insurance company that I used to work for a long time ago. I am pretty psyched about it. I’m pretty much just praying for God’s will on this one. If I’m supposed to get it, then I want it bad. If I’m not supposed to get it, I still want it but understand why I won’t. I don’t want to end up completely unhappy at my job again 10 years from now and I know God knows what’s best. And to top it off, I had to get up at 4:45 AM! That wasn’t fun. But I did it. And I didn’t even hit the snooze. That’s because Robbie was still there and he always messes up my morning routine when he’s there. And I took my nose ring out for the interview and then couldn’t get it to go back in. Luckily, I finally got it after about 20 minutes of trying. Then I had to explain to the horses patoot why my nose ring was out. But don’t worry, I prayed for forgiveness after the lie.

Mom is doing well, still recuperating at home getting stronger by day. Hopefully she’ll get better soon so we can take our vacation at the lot. I promised her a week there when she gets back on her feet.

Andrew should be here soon. He graduated boot camp in April then the Marine Corps sent him back to Camp Pendleton for combat training. I just hope that doesn’t mean they are preparing him for deployment. His regular training should begin in a few weeks and he’ll be here at Ft. Leonardwood.

OK. Gotta go. Ciao for now.

I have been tagged

2008-05-02T14:45:00.000-05:00

So I use my blog mostly for just getting my thoughts out there for myself but also to anyone who by happenstance stumbles upon my pages. Or for my mother or my sister or my uncle. I really didn't think anyone else paid much attention. And I don't know all things blog-worthy but apparently I've been TAGGED. My friend Elizabeth recently started blogging and I think she has more posts in a month than I've put on here since 2004. Way to show me up there, E. Anyway, so before I get to the tagging, I guess I better update my stuff.

On Tuesday, April 15th, my mom fell and broke her leg in 3 places. We thought she was going to get to go home within a day or two, but that was before we realized the extent of the problem. After a 2 hours surgery, the doctor came out to talk to us. He had put in 6 pins/screws and a plate on one side and 2 pins/screws one the other. She also completely dislocated the foot so the tendons were pretty well torn up. She was in the hospital until that Friday, April 18th where she was moved to an Extended Care Facility with extensive rehab and therapy. She finally got to come home yesterday but not without some pretty big restrictions and alterations to her home life. A lift was put in off the back deck since she has a split foyer home, she has a bedside commode, a hospital bed and a walker in the living room along with a wheelchair. She won't be able to put any weight on her foot for another five weeks while the bones grow around the pins and plate. On top of this, we found out she is osteoporitic so she has to be even more careful. She just got done with Radiation therapy for her breast cancer and know this. Sheesh. [REMOVED]

And through this whole ordeal I think I've grown so very much closer to my sister Sabrina. Bebe - this is for you. In the last two weeks I've learned alot about you and feel we are closer now than we ever have been. Your compassion and your generousity to those around you is amazing - although I knew that part already. Your self-sacrificing for your family is something I try to mimic but I fear fall way short. And you were right when you said we never fought growing up. Have we ever at all? I love our competitive banter - to others I think it appears we are arguing or getting "catty" but we truly aren't. I think that's just another way we say we love each other. You see things in people and in the world that I don't always see and I think because of your giving nature, people open up to you and feel they can befriend you and have a completely unconditional friendship - and they are right. But you are also able to say what needs to be said when it needs to be said and I admire you for that. You know (and I quote, again) - "It is NOT our fault that she is mad at you!" That was a great day for me because I realized then that she is still there. You know, that little girl inside wondering if I'll ever make it to never-never land that still wants so very much to be like her big sister. ILYVM.

So now - I've been tagged. I have no idea what that means but here's what I'm supposed to do (and yes, I copied and pasted this right from your blog Elizabeth)

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up. (That means when I finish this post, I'm supposed to let Eliabeth know by making a comment on her blog, so she knows to come read mine.)

First - her link is on the left column.
Second - I think I already did the rules above???
Third - Six Random Things About Me. Mine aren't going to be quite as long and desciptive as my friend's Elizabeth are but hey, I'm trying to maintain a good work ethic here, too.
1. I would love to travel to Rome, Italy. I watched that movie, Under The Tuscan Sun once with Diane Lane - had to buy it and watched it alot since then. I think if it were just me, no kids or anything, I would so buy a villa!
2. I worked at Papa Johns once for four hours. That's how long I lasted. I made it through Kentucky Fried Chicken for four days. My current job of almost 10 years is the one I wish would be put out of it's misery but not before I find a newer better version!
3. I have many friends but few I trust implicitly. I think I probably have three people that know almost everyting about me - Robbie, Chris and Bebe.
4. My pet peeves are: slow drivers in the fast lane, women who put on their make-up in the car in the rearview mirror (or the guys who shave with their electric shavers), people who act like they know something when they really don't, bullies, cheats, liars and thieves.
5. I don't do malls. I HATE shopping. Well, maybe I like it when I get to hang out with Bebe but other than that, NOT.
6. There is no kind of music I dislike. Although I tease my husband and pretend his showtunes gag me, I secretly like them. And if you tell him that, I'll beat you up.

And now, I'm supposed to tag someone with a blog but I don't know anyone outside of my Aunts whom I know will not be compliant, and Elizabeth, who tagged me. How about I list the people I wish had a blog that I could tag?!
1. Bebe - yep, you all knew that one was coming.
2. Mom
3. Uncle Walter

So there ya go, a long overdue blog. I wish I had something as compelling as the goose story. I'll try better next time. Pray for my mom.

2008-04-14T14:04:00.000-05:00

So my sister and I have been communicating on Yahoo Instant Messenger when time allows during the day. Or when the Man isn’t lurking around somewhere. But they have what they call Audibles where you can go through lists of funny things, hello’s, bye’s, insults, etc. where you can click on the funny and if the sound is up, it’ll say stupid things on the other persons computer. For example, I had my back to my computer and all the sudden it said “Hey, you got some brown on your nose.” Or something to that effect. I laughed so hard I cried. And my boss has this “Sixth Sense” or something of the sort where if you get a personal phone call or if you are doing anything remotely personal at your desk, he suddenly appears. Even if it’s a 30 second call, he somehow knows. So of course, I’ve had to cut way back on my Messenger/Audible usage. But one stuck out and has now been branded as my motto.

I mean, really. Can I? I don’t think this is what I had in mind when I used to say “When I grow up, I wanna…..”

2008-04-11T14:32:00.001-05:00

2008-03-27T10:56:00.001-05:00

Boredom at work – uncommon, but not completely unheard of at my desk. Every once in a blue moon I get to have one of those days where it seems like the phone is not ringing, I’m at a stopping point with renewals and cannot do anything more with them until I receive the paperwork from the carriers and I’ve pretty much followed up on everything I could possible follow up on – basically, I don’t have much to do. Rarely does this occur but today is one of those days. I know it appears to make the day go slower but it’s nice to sit back and take a breath. And I dare not tell my boss that I have nothing to do lest he give me stacks and stacks of otherwise known as busywork jobs so as to keep me busy. I work my tail off here and it doesn’t bother me (much) to just relax. Not that I’m painting my nails or playing Blackjack online, because I’m not. I’m finding stupid things to do so I don’t fear my work ethic is slipping, but I’m not slammed, phone-ringing, piles of crap all over busy.

My mother’s last radiation treatment was yesterday – YA HOO. I want to get her a pink T-Shirt with “SURVIVOR” written as large as possible all over it. My momma – what a woman!!

What else has been going on. Let’s see - Basement flooded, washing machine went kaput so we bought a new one, I had pleurisy, Baseball home opener is Monday, we’re redoing the bedroom still, got my nose pierced, got a new puppy, I didn’t win Powerball, Rob had a flat tire Tuesday on the way home from work and mom and dad picked him up to take him to Dobbs and helped out with the tire and made me cry, Drew graduates in a week from bootcamp, Sam is almost taller than me, Lizzie is growing her hair back out, I hate my job, I’m still hoping to move to Wentzville someday, Carrie had her baby and is back from maternity leave Tuesday, Carrie and I went to dinner Tuesday and had a royal blast! I can’t wait for the new House episodes to start back up, we’re planning to go to Palm Island this summer, I’m madly in love with my husband, I’m very proud of my kids, I’m reading a great book, got stuck in traffic yesterday for and hour and a half after a fatal accident (but I do thank God that I wasn’t involved), Robbie finished his classes for the semester, someone stole a bagel from me at work, I’m ready for spring, I’m glad it’s almost Friday, I’m looking forward to going to Mom and Dad’s on Saturday, I have a mountain of laundry to do again, I’m beginning to really like one of our cats (do NOT tell anyone!), someone called me very smart today and I think that’s about it. That’s what’s been happening lately in short little snippets.

2008-02-20T06:16:00.000-06:00

I am feeling a bit of righteous indignation today and I’m trying hard to make it go away. Problem is, I think it is somewhat warranted. And this bit of righteous indignation is not just because of one thing – but several in general so when I think about them as a whole, I think the “bit” goes to more like “considerable”.

Ever watch the movie “9 to 5”? Remember that part where Mr. Hart (the sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot) takes MAJOR credit for something Violet did? Well, lets just say – I’m feeling like Violet this week. I love it when Doralee says she’s going to change him from a rooster to a hen with one shot.

AND – Sam’s last birthday he saved his money from his grandma and from us; hunted, studied, shopped around and basically found the best bicycle for him and bought it with his very own money. He was so excited about it. He cleaned it with a diaper even. For the most part, he kept it parked in the basement since we seem to have bike thieves living amongst us. He forgot a few times, but mostly it was kept downstairs, tightly locked and safe. Last week we had the main drain back up into the basement. I know, fun fun! We took almost everything out, bleached the floors, put new carpet in Sam’s room, new Linoleum in the laundry room and had everything taken apart and in mass disarray for a while. Yesterday, he called me at work and wanted to know what we had done with his bike. Making a long story short, it was stolen out from under our porch. I’m trying to remember “in my anger, do not sin” but that is a hard instruction to preserve. Especially since my anger is so immense at the moment.

On a lighter note - Robbie, Sam and Lizzie all tried out for parts in the play Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat which is being put on by a church in Wentzville and they all made it! Robbie is Ruben, Joseph’s oldest brother and Sam and Lizzie are in the children’s choir. When Lizzie tried out she got up on stage, said “This is just like American Idol” and then in her best Simon Cowell, British accent (which was quite good actually) stated “Just don’t tell me I’m pitchy, ok?” Sam did very well also, but he’s not as gregarious as his sister. Robbie got up and sang two songs and it amazes me still how well he can sing. I forget that sometimes because I don’t get to hear him very often.

Well, I’ve updated. I know it’s been awhile and I apologize. Could be worse – could’ve been a year.

The miracle of FISH OIL

2008-02-06T08:49:00.000-06:00

Warning in advance – this blog may come off as an infomercial or an advertisement to go buy a certain product. It’s not meant to be that way – just a touting of the miracle I’ve found in FISH OIL.

I have pretty severe eczema, especially on my hands. I have been to three doctors, two dermatologists, taken all their prescriptions (which some are rumored to deteriorate the liver), done the blood tests, used all the creams, lotions, etc. etc. etc. One set of oral meds caused my cholesterol to elevate over 100 points in less than 30 days. The last round of medications had some pretty nasty kidney side effects so I decided not to take those. Some of the lotions worked for a while then I guess I developed an immunity to the topic stuff because after about a week to two weeks, they all became ineffective and I’d be back at square one.

About 3 months ago my boss decided I was to be his experimental subject and bought me a bottle of Omega-3 Fish Oil to take. Yea, right. I’ve tried it all and I had decided I would just live with it. I figured what the heck though – I’d try anything so I started taking them twice a day. Well – they cleared up. It took a few weeks but I started noticing improvements little by little until here I am, 3 months later and my hands look brand new. Well almost – you can’t have that much skin trauma without some permanent damage. Anyway, the Omega-3 Fish Oils have been a Godsend, miracle cure, natural therapy, whatever you want to call it – it has worked. And I’m very thankful. I can shake someone’s hand now without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. I can use my hands again. I can even do dishes again (but don’t tell Robbie)! Here are the before and after pictures. Amazing isn’t it? You can click on the pictures to make them larger.

What the heck...?

2008-01-10T14:15:00.000-06:00

[REMOVED]

I am still going strong on my lack of snooze button use. Well, sortof. Robbie has been home this week so it's always weird getting up and getting ready for work with him there. He actually had the audacity to ask me Tuesday if I realized my alarm had gone off. HELLO? Um, yes, but I'm stretching it. I think I'll be back to my old-new self Monday when he's already been gone for an hour by the time it goes off.

My twelve-year-old son and my nine-year-old daughter were approached two days in a row while walking home from school by punks trying to sell drugs. My Sammy, being the ever-astute young man, hightailed his self to the police station – which happened to be right there! He had the details on the people in the car, the type and color of car, but no license plate numbers because the car did not have any. I don't think many people, let alone twelve year olds would've thought to get all that. I was reassured by an officer yesterday that these jackasses were caught due to Sam’s diligence and they were proud of the good deed he had done. How proud was I?! What kind of IDIOT approaches two children, especially in front of the police station? And again, what is wrong with the people in this country??

I DID IT!

2007-12-18T11:18:00.000-06:00

I DID IT! I believe I have broken my snooze button dependency. Since it’s come to light, I have been consciously trying to hit snooze once and get up before it goes off again and so far I’m on a streak with 7 straight mornings. Well, Saturday and Sunday don’t count because I don’t use the alarm on those days but I was up on both days before 8. I know - it’s incredible isn’t it? I feel rejuvenated.

We had Trivia night last Friday at our church. We came in second to last. What if Sabrina is right? I know I’m somewhat intelligent – well I thought I was until Friday night - but what if I’m really not? What if I’m subconsciously faking it? Can you fake smart? I didn’t feel too smart. The pace was fast and there were things they asked that after I heard the answer I was just “DUH!” but mostly, I felt inadequate and terribly obtuse. Here’s what I’d like - one of those “Brain Games” that is supposed to keep your mind sharp. What’s that herb you can take to keep you on your mental A Game? I need that too. My nickname at work is FG – supposedly for “Freakin’ Genius” but I really think now it might be for “Freakin’ Goofball”. OR WAIT – OMG! What if it really means “FOREST GUMP”?? That just popped in my head and is quite scary. His IQ was like 72 or something. But he was happy and he knew what love is. Maybe that’s all that counts. Plus he was rich, what with Bubba Gump Shrimp and all.

Christmas is almost here and I am pretty excited about it finally. This is the first one I’ve actually gotten in the Christmas spirit beforehand in a while. I usually get all stoked up and it’s already Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day and that’s it. But this year I’ve been trying to focus on the reason for the season instead of the commercialization that our society has turned it into.

Matt is coming out on December 24th but Drew cannot make it this year. He goes to boot camp on January 7th and he’s currently working three jobs that won’t let him have time off to come. Which is ok, we’ll just miss him. He did ask his Sergeant if he can spend his 10 days after boot camp here and they said it was cool. So at least we’ll get to see him then.

I saw my geese again the other day, but this time they were on the ground aka the gaggle. And they were everywhere. It was snowing and there they were in a field. Weird to feel a bond with a bunch of geese.

2007-11-27T06:47:00.000-06:00

I was driving to work this morning and saw the biggest skein of geese I’ve ever seen, probably 250 geese in all. Here’s your Ornithology lesson for the day: The male goose is called a "gander" and the female is the "goose"; young birds before fledging are known as "goslings". A group of geese on the ground is called a “gaggle”; when flying in formation, it is called a “wedge” or “skein”. I’ve often heard about geese and their curious characteristics. They mate for life. Wikipedia says occasionally (very rarely) they will “divorce” and find another mate, but mostly they are loyal to one companion. When I lived in Mississippi I cleaned for the sweetest old couple. I remember one day the little old man came to me, very excited, and wanted to show me “the neatest thing”. We went down to the lake behind his house, and there was a Gander and a Goose, with about 50 goslings. He told me about them mating for life and that some of the goslings in this group had been orphaned so these two took the orphans in as their own. He loved watching those geese and every week I would hear a new tale of what they had done until the goslings had grown up. Also, they fly in a V on purpose. Scientists have determined that the V-shaped formation that geese use when migrating serves two important purposes. First, it conserves their energy. Each bird flies slightly above the bird in front of him, resulting in a reduction of wind resistance. The birds take turns being in the front, falling back when they get tired. This way, they can fly for a long time before they have to stop for rest. The second benefit to the V formation is that it is easy to keep track of every bird in the group. Fighter pilots often use this formation for the same reason. I started thinking about my family and how we are like those geese. When faced with major upheavals (I would think migrating twice a year would be an upheaval in goose life), we get in our V, one of us takes the front and we take turns being lead bird. This way, we boost each other and keep each other going. And although our V may be stretched out far, we always keep track of everyone in our group. I think better to take care of each other. And I love how our family is so accepting of others. Whatever their faith, belief, philosophy, background, physical appearance or personality, we welcome them into our gaggle with open arms. How crazy is it that a wedge of Canadian Geese made me cry on the way to work?

Epilogue = 9-Minute Sequence

2007-11-20T06:17:00.000-06:00

We’ve officially established that the use of a snooze button is completely psychosomatic and that using a snooze button can be suggestive. In other words, after reading my blog about my 9 minutes of bliss, my sister apparently now uses her snooze button. Hopefully she gets as much delight in her extra 9 minute intervals as I do.

My thoughts on this, though, are that I am such a creature of habit that I have a perverse obstinate disposition to go to great lengths to make sure my 9-Minute Intervals do not change. And this is worrying me. For instance, my dog has decided when the alarm goes off the first time that he really REALLY needs to go outside RIGHT THEN. And I hate to be woken up – or actually get out of bed - before my 4th 9-Minute sequence has run its course. So I stumble to take him out, but then of course I have to feed him and he eats outside so hopefully I have clothes on that won’t scare the neighbors and then of course, the cats hear the scrape of a food bowl and they decide their bowl isn’t full enough so I have to fill up their bowls too. And yes, I have tried to ignore them since their bowl does have food in it usually at all times and stumble back to bed but they will ceaselessly meow outside my bedroom door since I made an appearance and they feel slighted if I don’t feed them too. THEN I have to go to the bathroom because if I don’t, I can’t go back to sleep because I have to go to the bathroom. By that time, I should stay up because HELLO, I’m wide awake. But I don’t. I go back to bed and then strike up a bargain to sleep an extra 5 ½ minutes since I’ve already taken the dog out, fed him, fed the cats and went to the bathroom. SEE? It’s a vicious vicious cycle and I’m powerless to change it.

THEN I remember that ‘sloth’ is one of the seven deadly sins. NICE. Google sloth. See what you come up with. I was actually reassured by wikipedia in that “The meaning of sloth as a vice closely follows the meaning of the Greek word "akedia": "absence of caring". A student who neglects his studies to pursue another interest, such as martial arts or filming, does not necessarily commit the sin of sloth. Perhaps he should restructure his priorities, but the student does not necessarily display a spiritual decay, a lack of interest in anything, and thus is not slothful. A student who took no interest in anything requiring great effort, but preferred to indulge in idle entertainment, might well be slothful.”

So can I assume that an insurance agent who hates to get up in the morning because she’s not a morning person is not necessarily committing the sin of sloth but one who didn’t get up at all since it requires great effort but preferred to sleep all day in idle slumber might well be slothful? It’s not that I have an absence of caring about getting up. I just don’t like to.

Ran out of steam...

2007-11-15T15:18:00.000-06:00

I’ve run out of steam. I was going strong there for awhile, blogging almost regularly and then, I felt the old familiar procrastination issue setting in. So as not to let a year go by again without blogging, I am updating without much information just to be updating. Just to give you all something glorious to read. Well, maybe not glorious but at least it’s something. And maybe not much information, just not much I wish to share.

Our family is going thought a trying time and out of respect for my mom, I’ll only say she was diagnosed with breast cancer and leave it at that. She is very private and doesn’t want her issues aired on the World Wide Web for anybody and everybody to read. If it were only family and close friends that were to frequent the pages, then I think she would be more apt to post her health issues on a website. As it stands, anybody, anywhere, anytime can scroll through various blogs and just read whats going on. It is not private. Which, granted, the normal general public scrolling through a blog would have no idea who she was but you just never know. There may be some buttcrack showing, combover inbred from Toad Suck, Arkansas saying “Paint me pink, Frances, Margaret has breast cancer!” And to some, that wouldn’t be a problem because they really don’t care if someone they don’t know can read about them but to mom, it’s private. And she wants to keep it that way. She’s more than happy to let the family and close friends know what’s going on.

SO. It’s almost Thanksgiving again. Where does time go? Why can’t it slow down? Why did it pick up speed after about 30? I swear just yesterday I was 25. And I know tomorrow I’ll probably be 40 and then by the next day I’ll be 50. What’s with that? I think it’s because I wish my life away 5 weekdays at a time. I start Monday – “can’t wait til Friday” and it goes from there. All my wishing has made it go so much faster that suddenly I’m almost 37 and have no clue how I got here.

For anyone that reads this that is a praying person – I’m asking for prayers for my mom especially but also for my dad. Pray for Gods healing hands to guide, comfort and cure.

She is.

2007-11-05T12:21:00.000-06:00

She is my friend. She is my confidant.
She is my fan. She is my aficionada.
She is my rock. She is my calm in this storm.
She is my security. She is my tether
She is my childhood. She is my teenage years. She is my adulthood.
She is the wind in my sails. She is the wind beneath my wings.
She is my reason. She is my motivation.
She is every memory. She is every story.
She is every “remember when”. She is every “I can’t wait”.
She is everything I was. She is everything I am. She is everything I want to be.
She is my mother.

~Catrina King
November 5, 2007

2007-11-01T14:09:00.000-05:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a bargainer but only a bargainer with self. Well, maybe I do make a bribe, ahem - I mean deal, with my kids every now and again about the things they need to do or the things that I don’t want them to do but mainly, a bargainer with self. I bargain with myself in the morning about getting up – refer to the 9-Minute Sequences below. That’s just one example. I make lots of small bargains with myself throughout the day. If I’ll just get this group insurance information in the system and all done and off my desk, I can take a little moment and throw my nerf basketball at the net hanging in my office. (Blows off steam and improves hand-eye coordination all at once – but don’t do it too much, makes lots of noise and the boss will give you the big hairy eyeball)

And I’ve now made a new bargain but on a bigger scale. For every 25 pounds I lose, I’m going to get a new tattoo. SO, if I lose 75 pounds, I’ll have three new tattoos. Not big ones so that I look like a Harley Babe, but little ones. And ones that mean something to me. First will be the little footprint with the initials JAS beside it on the top of my foot. Second is the Ithcus I’ve designed. Inside the Ithcus is the name Christ but if you look at it backwards, it says Risen. Kind of hard to imagine but trust me, it’s cool. It also has the scripture Gal 6:17 beside it. And last, I want a tribal band around my arm. That’s going to be the last of the three. I’d like one on my hip too so – wait, I hear another bargain in the process. If I go 100 down, I can get one last ink on my hip. Sweet. And I'm going to set time bargains on these. This tattoo bargain has been in the works for some time but I need to get a time on it so I just don't slide on into 40 with the same bargain rolling around in my head.

Robbie & I are going this weekend to a marriage retreat thing at the Frontenac Hilton. Aunt Steffie is watching Sam and Lizzie and Robbie and I get a weekend for just us. Thats important to a relationship. Especially when you get married and have instant family. We never really have an alone time. Maybe after 10pm when the house is settled down, the children are snug in their beds and the dog is at the foot of the bed gnawing on a rawhide but within minutes we’re both snoring so I don’t think that counts. Or this one time, it was quiet during the day in our house for about 10 minutes while the kids were playing down at their friends house! And it’s ok, we’re cool with the chaos of our lives but every once in a while, it’s good to step back, regroup, remember why I love him so much and actually tell him and then we can get back to mayhem and disorder. I’m excited about our weekend away.

And now – I’m going to take a poll. Please tell your friends about my poll because I think I have only three readers left. Feel free to comment with your answer to my poll, or your friends answers to my poll. I’ll tally any answers I get and let you know the outcome. Here’s the background to the reason for my poll and the poll itself.

I am a HUGE Three Stooges Fan. I love the Stooges. I can sit and watch the Stooges all day long if someone would let me. I used to only be a Larry Moe & Curly fan and really didn’t care for the others that were brought in after Curly left. Well, really, Curly replaced Shemp when Shemp got out of the original act but when they went on television Curly was part of the original three. Shemp stepped in when Curly had a stroke in 1949. See? I know a lot about the Stooges. Did you know that Curly, whose real name is Jerome Lester Horwitz, was originally known as Babe? That’s my nickname too!! I don’t know how many people besides a select few know of my Stooges dependence. I can’t help it, I just love them. And from what I understand, to be female and love the Stooges as much as I do is apparently not normal. Not saying that much of what I like or do is normal, but it’s the Stooges! C’Mon, who cannot help but love them? So here’s my poll.

If you are female, then
a. Do you like the Stooges?
b. Do you have other female friends or family that enjoy them as well?

If you are male, then
a. Do you like the Stooges?
b. Do you know of any female friends or family that enjoy them as well?

Simple. I just want to know. I’m weird, I always knew that but I’m also curious. So vote early and vote often. :) That’s what I’ll be saying next November.

And yet again...

2007-10-30T12:29:00.001-05:00

Reading the blog from September 27, 2006 was somewhat eye opening. Eye opening in that I read of the same restlessness that I’m still feeling a year later and to know NOTHING has changed. Well, obviously some things have, but in the overall grand scheme of the “I’ve been feeling the need for change lately” scenario – nothing has changed. I embraced the changes with my job – studied the new deductibles and learned the new plans and I came through rather well. But the dreariness is still there. I think before I called it complacency thinking that meant – basically BLAH - but when you shift+F7 complacency, there’s a list of words that DO NOT describe how I feel about my job. Example – I do not have contentment. In fact, I need one of those thesaurus things that give you the antonym for that one. Discontent? Dissatisfaction? A lot of ‘disses’ there. I even said I just knew I couldn’t keep going like I was and stay sane. So either I’m crazy or I was wrong. I don’t think I’m crazy. Well not any crazier than I was before. So to sum it all up and give a moral to the story – I’ve learned I really can keep on going a very long time after I thought I couldn’t.

2007-10-23T10:52:00.000-05:00

So. Going back through my blog I realized – IT’S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR. Time flies when you’re on the downside of “over thirty”. It really does. I’m not kidding. And my last blog actually said I may try to blog once a week. HA. I see how well that worked. And to try and convey what has happened in the last year would ultimately be mind-numbing. A lot happened, I lived through it and I’m just a year older. But it’s funny, when I read back through and realize I’m still struggling with the same CRAP I was a year ago or longer, its quite dismal. I think it’s time to get new things to struggle with and quit worrying about the same ol’ stuff. For instance, I’d like to worry about where to spend all the money I won in the Powerball. Or which color Mercedes I want. Or what type of marble to put on the floor of my mansion. Those are acceptable struggles. I’m on it….I’ll let you know how that works out.

I do have MySpace and I get on there quite a bit. I actually blogged once in there. Maybe it was twice. I’ll have to look. I should actually copy and paste so it looks like this blog is really long. If you have MySpace and if you still read this, let me know and we can be friends on MySpace. I’m currently collecting them. Friends that is. I am finding they are a rare commodity. Well, true ones anyway.

Here is blog 1 from MySpace:

The 9-minute sequences...
Current mood: relaxed
I am not a morning person. And honestly, that doesn't even begin to describe it. It's not like I need my morning coffee to wake up, I don't drink coffee – except for the occasional Venti Cappuccino with a sweet n low. I don't do mornings, never have and apparently never will. I will sleep until the absolute last possible minute I can without being late and then bargain with myself to sneak some extra minutes. Example – "You know self, if you don't blow dry your hair today and just throw it in a clip, you can sleep an extra 4.7 minutes."

On the other hand, my husband is very much a morning person. I told him the first time I figured out he was so smiley in the morning that we were going to have a problem because "If you're like that in the morning, I am like this." And it's not pretty. Stumbling through the house, hair on end, eyes at half-mast and not a decipherable actual word emitting from me. More like a grunt or two. It is funny though that he can set his alarm and then just turn it off the first time it beeps and get up. And be happy about it! (That's the part that slays me) And his clock is set for the right time.

And then we pan to the other side of the bed…

And that, friends, is a completely different story. My clock is set 23 minutes fast. And the alarm is set for 36 minutes earlier than I have to get up, of course not counting the 2.3 minutes I save if I don't shampoo twice. My alarm goes off and I usually lurch about 6 feet off the bed because it scares the crap out of me and as I'm landing from my voyage through the air, I'm desperately fumbling on the nightstand to find THE SNOOZE BUTTON. I love the snooze button – it is the greatest invention in the world next to a Chevrolet ZZ4 350 ci 4 brl carb 355 hp engine and a 4 speed transmission with a Hurst shifter. The snooze allows me to steal extra sleep in 9-minute intervals. Of course, every 9 minutes I go through my ascension into the atmosphere again but for those 9 wonderful, magnificent minutes, it's worth it.

I'm sure those of you reading this that are akin to my husband are declaring that I just need to set my clock for the correct time, set my alarm for when I need to get up and have that last 36 minutes of slumber completely uninterrupted. I've tried that. It does not work. If I turn it off the first time it goes off, I WILL oversleep and I WILL be late for work. I have tried over and over and over again to change my waking routine but alas, it was not meant to change. This is just how I am.

As for how Mister Morning Guy and I have worked out our differences, he has to get up 2 hours before my first levitation and therefore is not privy to my comical morning episodes. On the rare occasion that he is there to witness it, he simply guffaws lovingly in his good-natured manner and takes his sickeningly happy, awake self to read in peace in the living room.

Here is Blog 2 from MySpace:

I had to write this one down...
Current mood: thoughtful
Susan B. Anthony once said that sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit, and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these. This morning on my way to work, right at the pond just up this hill from my house, a group of ducks were walking right up the middle of the street. A big burly guy in a dump truck was slowly following along behind at a ducks pace with his hazards flashing, smiling like I've not seen anyone smile in a long time (except on TV, of course). Cars piling up behind him, those angry drivers with somehwere important to be and him not caring. I had to write down my unannounced stray dog moment, just in case life - as usual - gets a little too hectic and I forget to put my hazards on and laugh at the ducks.

So now it looks like I’ve just written a whole bunch. Does anybody even read this anymore? I doubt it. Let me know.

I’ll try to do better. Don’t hate me if I don’t. Just check back periodically to see if I’m still kickin.

2006-11-02T05:20:00.000-06:00

I don’t update very often. I rarely have time but maybe, just maybe, I will make a habit to try at least once a week. And I think if you add up this one, it’s been twice already. Holy old mother of milk cow, hold your socks on again. I don’t think I’ve ever updated twice in one week.

We had our TeamKid classes last night. We always have so much fun. The kids really enjoy it but I think I enjoy it more than they do. How crazy is that.

Halloween was fun. Lizzie went as a “gothic princess” and Sam was the scary dude from Scary movie. We went all over Troy, into a big subdivision and of course, had to go to Aunt Steffie’s house. They love Aunt Stef and Uncle Dan. This is the first year since we’ve lived in Troy that we haven’t gone trick or treating with them. But it was ok because we dragged Robbie along and made him drive. He doesn’t mind a bit. What a great guy. The city of Troy always has a few “drive thru” places on Halloween set up by the Kiwanis and the Ladies Auxiliary Club. All the stores on Main Street had their decorations out – some were even open late and handing out candy.

Baseball season is over. I heard on the radio that some people actually need psychotherapy after the adrenaline rush is over. I love my baseball and all, but I’m patient enough to know it starts again in the spring. I don’t think I need therapy to get through the winter months. But then again, I’m a huge fan, not a fanatic.

Anybody else watch House on TV? I LOVE that guy! I never (literally) watched TV before Robbie moved in. Maybe, on occasion, I would watch a movie, but that was about it. Since he’s moved in I am now addicted to House and ER. He’s even bought me the first 4 seasons of ER on DVD. Now I’m going to need House although I’ve watched it from the beginning. The TV directs my Tuesdays and Thursdays. Thank God for the DVR. With that, I can watch them in my spare time - like at 2am when I’m supposed to be catching up on the sleep I never get.

I finally went to the doctor for this cold I have had for the last 4½ weeks. Of course, my doctor explained it’s not a cold. A cold doesn’t last 4½ weeks. This is an infection, for which I need antibiotics. Respiratory infection, sinus infection and ear infections. Fun Fun Fun – I ‘m one big infected hair-ball coughing snot bag. Gross. I think my doctor just kind of mentally pats me on the head and tells me to steer clear of WebMD.com. Of course, I have this habit of self-diagnosing. I went in there about a year ago thinking I had lockjaw because I’d been floating and swimming in a river where cows had frequented. He kindly explained I didn’t have lockjaw otherwise I wouldn’t be talking by then. I don’t remember what I had now. All I know is that it wasn’t lockjaw.

OK so, we’ve established I don’t update very often, but I’m also bad about e-mailing back. I will, I promise. Most of the time I check at work and then don’t have time to get back to anyone for fear of “getting busted”. I’m not allowed to do anything personal at work. SO, I will check my e-mail because I can minimize that pretty quick, but actually replying takes some crafty slyness. Bear with me though…

So gotta run. More later. And try not to be too disappointed if it’s longer than a week until my next update. I’m trying, really I am.

2006-10-31T05:34:00.000-06:00

So, there I was going about my daily routine when I noticed the hit counter on my blog was through the roof. My first reaction was that someone noticed the incredibly witty way in which I write and will contact me soon to become a featured columnist in his or her syndicated national newspaper. But it was not to be. The Auntie’s have posted a link to me on their popular family gazette. So now I may have more than 2 hits a month! How exciting. Guess I’ll have to update more often. Ha.

We had Dad’s 79th birthday party at the Valley (lot) Saturday. The Valley also had a haunted hayride for the kids and a spooky house and gave out candy and all kinds of stuff. What a great time! Chris and Rick came up with William and camped for the weekend, too. Of course, we told Dad this was just practice for next year’s big 80! We’ll do one in March for mom’s birthday, too. Then we’ll have their 50th anniversary. We’re just a party family. Actually, just any excuse to hang out with my family for me. Stef and Dan celebrated their 25th anniversary this year. And yep, it was an occasion to get together!

The cabin in the woods has four walls now. We’re building a barn style roof that will be the sleeping loft. Brett and Sam put the little tent in the unfinished cabin and slept in it. I think Brett loves it down there with us. He asked Robbie on the way home Sunday if we were absolutely sure we weren’t going again this weekend. I promised him anytime he wants to go and his mom says ok, he can go, even if we just go for the day.

Sam fell off his bike and we thought he broke his arm but turns out it was a growth plate injury. Which they cast anyway so he wore a cast for 3 weeks from his shoulder to his knuckles. Just call him Grace.

We had Parent Teacher conferences last week. They are both doing wonderful in school except for the fact that both of them seem to talk too much. Gee, I wonder where they got that. I remember my first grade teacher telling my mother that it’s not that I talk too much; it’s that I had a lot to say. We’re born yackers. That’s Lizzie’s word. She says she can’t help it if she’s a yacker. I think her Auntie Bebe called her that once and it stuck.

Robbie and I are having lots of fun with our Team Kid thing at church. I’m really enjoying being around all the kids.

Well, that’s it for now. I figured if I was going to have a massive stream of traffic, I better at least update and give the latest. More later…

Change...

2006-09-27T10:38:00.000-05:00

I’ve been feeling the need for change lately. Big change. To what, I’m not exactly sure. I just know I feel ... restless. That’s about the only way I can explain it. And I’ve felt that way for quite some time. My personal life is good - husband and the kids. I need to clean the basement and water my plants more often, but other than that I’m doing well and I’m content. My job still sucks though. Even though I get paid very well, I’m still so very unhappy there. I’ve been dreaming of getting a Class A CDL and becoming a dump truck driver. Or I could go up the street and become a bartender. That would be great fun. An assembly line worker. Opening a grocery store in Lyon, Missouri (there really is one for sale!) Anything, really. My insurance world is changing and I really don’t feel like embracing that change. I’m ready to turn in my briefcase for a backpack. Not necessarily a return to campus, but a proverbial backpack. Like changing in the Manolo Blahniks for Nike Shocks. The pantyhose for funny looking ankle socks. The skirt for a well worn pair of Levi’s. Is this a phase I’m going through? What if I trade the suit jacket for an AC/DC T-shirt and find I’m completely unhappy in a year? Or worse, what if I totally ruin everything I’ve worked so hard for financially? Or what if I’m too old? All I know is I want a change and I don’t mean insurance plan change because one insurance company is buying another and they’re redoing all of the benefits. We’re supposed to be learning and studying all these new plans and I can’t seem to make myself do it. I just don’t care. I’ve come to this complacency stage and it’s so unlike me in my job. What do I do? I’m not sure, I just know I can’t keep going like I am and stay sane. There’s only so much of insurance deductibles and coinsurance one can stand.

2006-09-14T14:48:00.000-05:00

2006-08-17T16:03:00.000-05:00

I DID IT! I traded in the Hyundai and got me a Monte Carlo! Well, Robbie and I both did. On the way to the airport yesterday the wheel fell off the Hyunda. Yes, off. While I was driving. Scary indeed. Anyway, to make a long story short, I got Lizzie to the airport, came back to the car, towed it to Dobbs, they fixed it and I traded it in. Here's the new baby! Ain't it a beauty!!!!!

2006-08-11T08:43:00.000-05:00

MY DREAM CAR

2006-08-11T05:27:00.000-05:00

So it's been a while, but not as long as usual. I am updating, although I don't think I have much to say today. Sam's in North Carolina, Lizzie will join him on Wednesday. Robbie, Lizzie and I are going on a float trip this weekend with Randy, should be a blast. Work is still work (Ed? Ed? Hurry soon before I implode!) My car is a piece of crap, I got new furniture, I've lost 10 pounds and that's about it. Not a long update today, but it's at least an update. Happy Birthday, Jess. I still miss you.

Photos

2006-07-20T11:51:00.000-05:00

Lizzie
Me
William
Sam in the lake at the lot
Matthew in the lake
The "Lot"
Robbie, Sam and Liz in front of the New Busch
Matt, Sam and Liz in the lake The lot - and our tent.
Me & Drew on the beach

It's only been 4 months....

2006-07-20T11:18:00.000-05:00

SO – there was no barrage of e-mails requesting updates and it’s been a few months since I put anything into words, so I guess it’s time. I will blog no whines before it’s time. That was pretty cute – I made that up myself. I made a joke up last week and my dad cracked up. Can’t remember exactly – something about mad cows disease and a cow running around the pasture saying ‘I’m a penguin’. I was actually quite funny – guess you had to be there.

What has happened since March – well, the boys have come and gone again. They only got to stay for two weeks this summer. Drew is working full time and trying to graduate early so he can go to his culinary specialty school. So he could only afford two weeks and Matthew can’t really stay here without him, since we work and he’s not enrolled in our daycare. I’m sure he could probably stay by himself but what fun is it to come here and hang by yourself. At least back home he’s got his homies.

We’ve been to the lot a few times already this season. Mom and Dad have signed over the lower one to us and we’re actually looking into buying the lot next to it. It’s very exciting. We’re going again tomorrow. I just love it there. I’ll try to post pictures – basically it’s just a hole in the woods but it’s ours and we have fun. Kids have a blast and they can roam. Not too far, but they can expand their little worlds more than at home.

Sam is going to the St. Louis Cardinals baseball clinic on the 27th. Some of the Cardinals Alumni put on a baseball clinic for kid’s ages 10-13 and he’s so very excited. Hopefully he’ll learn some good techniques, etc.

Remember my blog about a year ago when I was contemplating the Wednesday night children’s ministry at River Oaks Church and how Robbie and I could actually get this going? Well – through the direction of our youth minister’s wife, Robbie and I are “TeamKid” Coaches! It starts September 9th and it is for kids in grades 4 – 6 for them to prepare for the youth group. Kind of cool! We are official members of River Oaks and we’re becoming quite involved and I’m lovin’ it. This is the non-denominational Christian church that Randy goes to. The Catholic classes lasted exactly one week. I thought it was where I wanted to go, but I was wrong, I guess. We all live and learn.

I am also now on Myspace.com. Nathan said I needed to get on there so I did. It’s a pretty cool connection place where you keep up with friends and family and can find old buddies – if they’re on there too. Check it out.

OK – hold your socks on. I have quit drinking. I haven’t had a drink since March 25th. I just decided it wasn’t for me anymore. I may have one every now and again sometime later on down the road, but for now – I can honestly say I don’t drink. I know, quite amazing considering the amount of beer I can put away and still walk straight, but that’s quite a dubious honor indeed, anyway.

Sam goes to North Carolina on August 5th and the Lizzie will join him on August 16th. They’ll both be home August 20th. So – she won’t be there without Sam, that seems to work out best and he loves it there so it’s cool. Although I found out Michael lives there now, less than ½ mile from them. Sam is not digging the idea of seeing him at all and I don’t blame him. Suddenly after 2 years he gets an e-mail – Hi – it’s me ‘dad’ and I love and miss you??? Come on, let’s confuse the poor guy even more!! I will not get started on this one, I don’t have enough room and besides, this isn’t Jerry Springer. Let’s just say, neither I nor Robbie are happy and quite honestly, Sam isn’t either.

Robbie and I looked at display homes last weekend. I’m hoping we’ll get to move sometime next summer. Closer in - probably in the Wentzville area. Gas prices being what they are and are expected to go up to, every little bit helps.

Work is work. Without going into major detail and just in case anyone I work with happens upon this blog, I won’t say much, but sometimes you just feel the need to move on, ya know? I felt a major betrayal a few weeks ago by someone I considered a good friend and have not quite recovered. Of course, that isn’t the only factor but it was a major player in my feeling the need for a ‘til then sendoff (again). And of course, I’ve been feeling that need for a LONG time now so it was kind of a clincher. Just really sucks when you put trust in someone and it backfires right in your face. I would NEVER betray the confidence of a friend so it was shocking to me – even though I’d been warned about parleying any confidences to this person, it was still hurtful. And I’m just sick of the crap here. There is ALWAYS office drama - This person’s mad at this one, don’t say anything to this one, mother hen likes it her way or no way, and then this one is just a B*****. I’m just tired of it. And I’m trying to be more forgiving and have more of a Christian attitude, especially toward these people I work with (and of course those who cut me off in traffic and then flip me the bird!), but man, it can be hard. I really only have two people here I even get along with. I thought there was a third but apparently private/confidential information can just not be kept. Although outwardly it appear as if there is a modicum of comradeship among all of us, underneath lies a tension that knows if we didn’t work together or have to get along for the sake of the office, we’d never be friends in any world but this little bubble. And of course, as usual, I dream every day that my ol’ buddy Ed will come along and relieve me of being required to keep a 9 to 5. (McMahon, just in case you didn’t know who Ed was).

Ok – that sounded like I’m depressed and I’m really not, honest. I’m quite happy at the moment but do have the realization that I could be happier elsewhere. And I’m trying not to put all my need for happiness into things or jobs or houses. I’m right where God wants me to be at this particular moment, and I’m content with that.

So – on that note, I think I’ll sign out. Duty calls and life awaits…

2006-03-27T11:13:00.000-06:00

Okay mom, I am updating.

She replied to this e-mail I sent - 4 things - where you had to answer certain questions about yourself – “4 Things You May Not Know About Me”. One question was “4 Websites You Visit Daily”. Of course, the queen travel agent for guilt trips puts my blog on her list with the tag line “She never updates it.” I know, I know. I’m terrible. I even promised Uncle Walter I’d update more often, because he visits, too. Just start sending me e-mails requesting an update. Maybe I’ll get sick enough of getting a bunch of e-mails telling me to update more often that I’ll actually do it.

My momma was in the hospital last week with some heart issues. Hopefully, they’ll fix it with medication. Part of one of her stents was blocked but they think they can control it without inserting another stent. Which is good, but she also needs to see a neurologist. Her many head traumas may be causing problems in there.

We had a trivia night Saturday. We had a blast and I think we came in 5th out of 30 tables. Not too bad, but I might have done better myself in helping out me fellow teammates if I hadn’t been partaking in the free beer quite so liberally. Plus it was draft, which makes it worse. We didn’t do too badly, though.

Sam’s baseball team had the first practice Saturday. Robbie, again, seems excited about his group of kids. Our veterinarian’s son is on our team and I’m happy about that. I just love our vet and he is as encouraging with all the kids as he with Norman (my dog, not my dad) when we take him.

Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday and also my baby nephew is turning 21 tomorrow. I cannot believe it. I’m feeling so very old these days. Sam saw a telephone with an actual rotary dial on it and said, “What the heck is that thing?” Lizzie wanted to know what an 8-track was. Then asked me if they had cars back in the old time days – you know, mom – back in the eighties. Then wanted to know if we had shoes back then. OH LORD HELP ME.

Work is work. Still the same, I am counting the days until Ed McMahon shows up at my door with a $10 million dollar check. Of course, that probably will never ever happen so I’m now selling candles to bring in some extra cash. The good kind - PartyLite. Anybody who wants to have a party or knows anyone who wants to have a party or whomever just wants to order some candles, let me now. I’m your candle girl. You know the song “Foxy Lady” by Jimi Hendrix? Well – I am “Waxy Lady”. Ha – that’s a good one. Funny too.

I’m coordinating a big b-b-q for our church. They have put me in charge of something. I don’t know which is more scary – being in charge of it or them thinking I can do it? I’m sure it will come of without a hitch – let us hope.

Not much else is going on here. This is my uninteresting life. I think maybe that is why I don’t update often. Just the goings on of a regular ordinary life, quite boring usually. Except for the rare dramas that pop up occasionally, which seem to be fewer and farther between these days. AMEN!

Ok – so let the e-mail bombardment begin. I will try to update more often, please e-mail me to remind me to do so.

William Virgil Stone, Born November 14, 2005

2005-11-16T15:23:00.000-06:00

These are pictures of Chris and Rick's baby, William Virgil Stone born Monday, November 14, 2005. Isn't he cute??

Somebody reads me!

2005-11-14T22:58:00.000-06:00

Uncle Walter and Uncle Richard were here this weekend past (as you'll see from the pictures below) and I found out not only does my most wonderful Uncle Walter actually read my blog, he visits several times a week to see if I've updated! Someone actually waits for updates! So - I am now being held accountable for updating and feeling the need to update more often. No, I didn't say it would happen, I said I am feeling the need. I shall try, in earnest, to update regularly.

What a wonderful visit we had with our east coast family. I am so very glad they got to come. I am going to try to get together our entire clan for a road trip this summer. And I mean ALL of us, Stef, Dan, Nathan, Jacob, Dave, Sabrina, Josh, Lauren, Alex, Brett, Randy, Lynn, Erica, Amanda, Connor, Robbie, Me, Andrew, Matthew, Sam, Lizzie, Mom & Dad. Wouldn't that be something! Anyway, I've posted only some of the 105 pictures I took of their visit. I'll try to add more as time allows. Friday, Robbie, the kids and I all went to Mom and Dad's, had dinner and pulled out the mandolin, guitar and banjo and just sang and talked. Then Saturday we went to Stef's for a bonfire get together, but it rained so we threw some wood in the barbecue pit, sat in the garage and again, sang and talked. I got to see Walter and Richard briefly Sunday then they headed back early this morning. Was a whirlwind of a visit, but it was a good one! Since I know he's reading - I'll just state my case right now. Uncle Walter - it will NOT be 15 years until our next visit. I promise! And I was glad to see Uncle Richard, also. Maybe I'll get to know him even more, like I've gotten to know Uncle Walter. Isn't e-mail great?

So, in all this excitement, my best friend had her baby today! William Virgil Stone, 11/14/2005, 6 pounds 6 ounces, 19 inches long! They've been trying for 12 years to have a child and out of everyone I know, they deserve it most. They've had 4 wonderful kids, but they were mine. Now she finally has one of her own. I am so very excited for her. She called tonight and was pretty drugged up, but was excited, I could tell. They had to take him c-section because he'd had a bowel movement in utero, so it was critical they get him out of there. They did and he's fine. She's fine, except she just realized she can't give him back and lock the door when he gets to crying! She'll make a wonderful mother.

I found out a few weeks ago that I'm getting a 5% raise after the first of the year and then I found out Saturday that Robbie got a raise last week! So - that's a good thing. I always like to make more money, but then again, I also just want Ed McMahon to visit my doorstep so I can retire and not care what my hourly wage is. Seem selfish? Nah, just pipe dreams.

Sam and Lizzie are doing great in school. Sam's grades are awesome! He has all A's except 2 B's, is on the honor roll for the first time (first time eligible), and is on the homework club because he turned in all homework assignments on time. Lizzie is doing great, they don't have honor roll yet, but her teacher did say she's doing wonderful! Seems like all is going ok in that area.

I don't know what else to write about. WHOA - me! At a loss for words! Shocking. And it's already almost 11. My uncles should be home tomorrow so this will be updated for Uncle Walter's return! HI! I love you! Wish you could've stayed longer. Tell Uncle Richard to get me his e-mail so we can converse!

I think I'm going to bed.

2005-11-14T22:57:00.000-06:00

2005-11-14T21:16:00.000-06:00

Pictures from this weekend past with Uncle Walter and Unlce Richard! Uncanny - the similarities between Uncle Walter and my dad.

2005-09-15T09:59:00.000-05:00

FYI - the date on these pictures are wrong, they were taken 7/10/2005.

2005-09-15T09:31:00.000-05:00

2005-09-15T09:21:00.000-05:00

I’m a slacker. I was asked to “guest blog” Aunt Sue’s blog and include pictures of our Hurricane Disaster Relief and I had to logon to the blog thing, and of course, be reminded that I hadn’t updated my own since APRIL. And so very much has happened since April, well after all it was only 5 months ago.

Let’s see, the boys have come and gone since then, they stayed May 28th through July 31st. We had a great time with them. Only major medical issues over the summer were my hysterectomy in June and then Sam was hospitalized overnight in late July because he had some sort of flu bug and he subsequently got dehydrated. And – Dad has been sick and in the hospital just not that long ago. Went in for pneumonia, ended up with congestive heart failure, atrial fibrillation, diabetes and two stints in his heart. Robbie thinks it was kind of like when you take your car to the shop for a tune-up and the mechanic looks under your hood and says “Oh shit!” Well, of course, Robbie didn’t say the expletive; I had to add that part. But, Dad is doing better. He is still very weak, but getting stronger every day.

I had my first family get together, where the entire family came over. We had a grand time – will post pictures. Not sure if anyone ever looks on here for updates anymore anyway, but hey, I’ll surprise those that do.

Gas prices suck! Robbie has to fill up about 2-3 times per week and with that big Dodge Hemi, it’s costing a fortune! I say he needs to talk to his boss about a gas card. I know they do that because the guy he used to ride with has one.

I started my Catholic classes this Monday past. I still have a lot of unanswered questions but of course, it was only the first class. Thing is, I’m somewhat feeling….”called”, if you will, to Randy’s church (non-denominational), which I’ve visited the past few weeks and helped out with their Hurricane Katrina relief efforts. As it turns out, Sam and Lizzie are not going to attend the PSR Catholic classes on Wednesday night. I figured out they are more wanting ‘instruction and fun’ than to actually “be” Catholic. However, Randy’s church does not have a Wednesday night children’s ministry yet. They are still a relatively new church so they don’t have that yet. Randy, being wonderfully insightful, started a thought in my head. What if it me that is supposed to start this ministry? What if, Robbie and I are supposed to do this and that is why I am having all these reservations and misgivings about the Catholic Church? And, what shocked me even more, was when I broached the subject to Robbie, he said he would love to start a children’s ministry there. Wow – lot’s to think about!
Anyway, I have updated this thing, for my dear readers who probably have given up and moved on. I'll add some pictures of my family get together.

The Drama Queen Updateth

2005-04-20T20:45:00.000-05:00

Well. I know that drama in our life keeps us from being bored, however...can I be bored now? For about the next ten years please? We've had so much going on lately that I think my life can run parallel to either a bad Soap Opera or a funny, in a sick sort of sense, sitcom. Or then again, maybe just a Jerry Springer episode - pick your fancy. Nothing has happened yet today, but then again, I'm still awake and the night is young.

Sam had an asthma attack Monday night while roller blading with his friends. Luckily, the friends were astute enough to race home and get us. Robbie took of at a fast paced trot with the inhaler and arrived just before the EMS people. Sam couldn't remember what "etic" he was, diabetic or asthmatic. Luckily, Robbie was there. We've thanked his friends profusely and keep doing so. I couldn't get there fast enough because I hobble around on a gimp foot. The story behind that one to follow. By the time I got there all was well and he was doing much better. I tore my ace wrap to shreds running/hobbling across the rocks. And then he looked at me with those big blue eyes and big crocodile tears in them and simply asked, "Mom, will I ever grow out of this?" My heart nearly broke in two for him.

Then last night, he was bitten by a dog. Not too bad of a bite, but did break the skin on the back of his leg and is now quite a large bruise. After I had 'words' (let's just leave it at that) with the owner of the dog, I found out the dog has never had any shots, and has never been to the Vet. Lovely! So, now the City is involved, the dog is quarantined and I have to keep an eye on Sam. Not that I think the dog has rabies or anything, but HELLO - you live in the City Limits, there is an ordinance that says every July 1st you have to get a new license for your dog and in order to have said license your dogs shots must be up to date. And what kind of a nutcase has a dog and never takes it to the Vet?! It's unsafe for the dog and any neighborhood kids, especially since the dog seems to have a propensity toward using it's big snarly canine teeth to get it's point across!

I have injured my foot. Working on the garden, Robbie and I were putting up the corner fence posts and one of the 4x4's fell on my foot. Went to the ER, they said not broken, but it was crushed and I had a helluva hematoma. Those are fancy medical terms, too. But as Lizzie so accurately put it, "Mommy, your foot looks like one of those big cartoon foots!" Twelve days later it is still tender, I still cannot wear a shoe, it's still the color of grape jelly and somewhat swollen. I went ahead and went to my doctor just to be sure and I won't get in to all the soap opera, second opinion crap but, to make a long story short...even if it is broken, they apparently do not cast feet anymore. They just stuff it in an ace bandage and say take it off when it quits hurting. Okeydokey. I will do that.

Lizzie got hit in the eye while walking behind a moving swing. Has a beaut of a shiner. She's ok, but she looks like a poster child for abuse victims. Hell, if you think about it, we all do. Except Robbie, and as my mom said, it's going to start looking suspicious, ha ha. I told him we can't all be so perfect so I make up for it by tripping over my own two feet and falling out of my chair at work on a regular basis. Just call me Grace.

My brother-in-law had some sort of seizure/stroke over the weekend. They are not sure what is going on with him, but maybe he just overdid things Saturday while working in the yard. It's weird, but I always knew I loved him like a brother but I don't think I knew quite how much I loved him until Sunday. And then he tore his cartilage in his knee so now he has crutches and they can't do the stress test on Friday because he can't walk. My sister has something going on with her neuro system and has alot of numbness in her hands. I'm beginning to feel like my drama problems are wearing off on other members of my family. Maybe I should stay away. Maybe I should wear a sign around my neck that says, Stay Away. I have like drama voodoo or something. I don't really believe that but you know, after so much crap, you just really start to wonder....

Dear Diary...

2005-04-03T19:15:00.000-05:00

Wow - it's been awhile. Again. I have an anonymous commenter who apparently thinks it is time to update. Guess I would have to agree.

Robbie is coaching Sam's baseball team this year and I, as a dutiful coaches wife and player's mother, have decided I would upkeep the team website. Let us hope and pray I update it more often than I do my own blog. Our first team practice was yesterday and it went very well. Robbie was the most excited about how excited the kids were and how much fun they seem to have. And he only heard one comment about being the old guy that can keep up with the kids. Kids say the darndest things.... Anyway, our website is http://ppp-allstars.tripod.com/ Feel free to visit and tell all your buddies so our hit counter gets way up there.

I was sick this past week. I was almost 100% sure I had pneumonia but alas, the chest x-ray had final say and I apparently did not. My trachea was inflamed, whatever the hell that means and I had an upper respriratory infection. I couldn't talk above a whisper and if I did, then I croaked. First round of antibiotics did nothing to appease anything so the doc tried a different one. I am much better today, thankfully, the last day of the weekend. I did venture out some yesterday but could tell by day's end that I'd had enough.

The boy's will be here end of May through beginning of August. I am very much looking forward to it, as I know Robbie is. We have room for them now even!

Easter was good, I made a dirt cake and a bunny cake. Had a lot of fun with them, too!

Wow, so like, no wonder I never update. Nothing is really going on. I got glasses. Went to happy hour with Gena and Diane. Watched the fights at Stef's two weekends ago. I have a garden going, Robbie has been diligently tilling and shoveling for me. Other than that, not much else. Knock on wood, the kids seem to be staying well. Sam did have an ear infection two weeks ago but thank goodness that was all it turned out to be. We'll see how this Spring goes with allergies...pray for him.

Terry Schiavo has been a hot topic as of late. I know we all have personal opinions about it and yes, I know you've heard them all. But, here is another. I, personally, do not think politics and the government should have been involved AT ALL. And why is it that the husband waited 10 years before he suddenly announced that Terry had wishes about not wanting to live like that? She was NOT on life support, she did NOT have a breathing machine and the only thing medically needed to sustain her was the feeding tube. So - they starved her to death. Boy, tell you what, try that on a golden retriever and you'll have the animal rights people on your ass and in jail so fast it will make your head spin. I completely 100% disagree with what they did to her. She had people who were more than willing to take full responsibility for her care and they should've been given the rights to do so. Jessie, my niece, had a feeding tube that went up her nose and into her stomach. She had what the doctor's said was the brain level of a 2 month old, she never walked, talked, sat up or much of anything else, but I do know, she had more knowledge of what was going on around her than most people gave her credit for. And if someone had said you HAVE TO PULL THE FEEDING TUBE, I am sure I would be spending my life in prison. Ok - sorry, enough of my soapbox. I can say a whole lot more but I don't think my blog capacity would hold it all.

Ok, I am done now. Until next time...

I love comments!

2005-02-15T05:23:00.000-06:00

I about fell outta my chair! Somebody commented! I LOVE comments! Keep commenting, dear readers, all two of you.

And I guess it was time again for an update. My chili was good, but it didn’t last longer than about 10 minutes. Something new - I have been spreading my culinary wings as of late. Trying new recipes, pouring over cookbooks…feeling like my mother. She absolutely loves to “read” cookbooks. How the heck do you read a cookbook? There’s no plot, unless you consider boiling a narrative to delve into. Anyway – she enjoys looking through cookbooks while I would much prefer a good suspense novel, but to each her own. I made this chicken stuff – man it was good. Can’t remember the name of it.

Robbie and I made our “media closet” and then turned the empty, good-for-nothing-but-collecting-dust-bunnies space behind the front door into useable space! I made a two-tier shoe/boot shelf with a hat/mitten bin on the end, and he made the coat hanger upper thingies. We stained and shellacked them. How do you spell shellac? That doesn’t look right.

Everyone is staying relatively health (knock on wood). I go to the doctor this morning for a follow up on my blood pressure. It’s still way high (got up to 190/110), sheesh. But, hopefully we’ll get it under control. It’s been about 6 months now since I started going to the doctor for it, about a year since it’s been high. Sam goes to the allergist Thursday for his 6-month follow up. Lets hope she gives us good new and says he doesn’t have to come back for a year! Although, spring and early summer are Sam’s worst times of year so lets get though this one without a hospitalization.

My friend Elizabeth whose mother passed away this past August has found out her father will no longer be getting chemo and when the time comes, he will go into hospice. I didn’t understand until her mom died that hospice means you’re almost to the end. I feel so terrible for her, first losing her mother and now probably going to lose her dad within a year. He has had cancer for quite some time but apparently has always been on the winning end of the battle. She also lost her brother to a rare form of cancer a few years back. Man, I wish I could convey to her how deeply I feel for her about all that, but that’s hard to put into words especially when she is still going through it. I just hope she knows I am here for her.

Finally got to work on my taxes, don’t want to talk about that. Thought I was getting a great big refund but made a grave error and realize now – that for the first time ever in my life, I OWE! Like I said, I don’t want to talk about that.

Had a great Valentine’s Day! Robbie showed up at my work in a tux and delivered flowers to me. Even better than florist delivery, don’t you think? He’s so wonderful. And they were daisies! My favorite. I am truly a lucky woman.
OK, well, better get my butt in gear for the day. Maybe Ed McMahon will call me, give me good news and I can retire by postcard from a hut on the beach in Curacao. Wish me luck…

Holy Jumpin' Jehosephat

2005-01-21T19:23:00.000-06:00

Ok - so. I looked back on my blog and decided it's time again for an update. I've been told that I seem sad in my pages, but I must remind my dear readers (all 2 of them) that my cynical sense of humor is hard to interpret upon mere type written pages. I am not sad, I was trying to impress the unknown cyber world with my keen sense of wit. We've had alot going on, but alas, I am an incredibly strong person and it takes a lot more to put me under. My sense of humor is what keeps me going. If I should ever lose that, I fear I will sink. However, I also must remember first and foremost, I am an ABBOTT, which means I persevere, I am tough as nails, and I have this nose that only a select few can appreciate.

What has happened in the last weeks -- I was not ready for Christmas, but DANG-IT, it came and went anyway. Drew and Matt came and we had a most wonderful visit with them. It is so hard to only see them for a few short weeks during the summer and only one incredibly short week during the winter. We crushed much living within 7 days and they cannot wait to come back. Must say something for their stepmother. You know, she is most cool!

I will be starting RCIA classes in the fall. They are the Catholic classes which the RCIA stands for something but I am not sure exactly what. R is for rite, C is for Christian, I is for something and A is for adult? Anyway, by Easter 2006 I will become a bonafide Catholic, which is kind of crazy for me since it is something I swore to myself I would never do. Religion for me has been something very very personal. I was baptized by my Baptist preacher in 1994 and I have felt since then very strongly about the fact that I am A BAPTIST, DARNIT! Upon moving to Troy (this itty bitty town I live in than when I do not know what I am doing-it doesn't matter because everyone else does), I visited several churches in the hopes of finding one that makes me feel comfortable. As far as denomination goes, I feel it's all the same God, just different roads to get there as long as you know where you are going when you are done here. I visited the Baptist church just a block up the road and I felt like an outsider. I visited the Catholic church and I must say, I have never met many people with a sense of humor more keen than mine, especially a priest. He gave up jokes during mass last year for lent. We went on Easter - Lent.......was over. We heard a barrage of jokes that day, he was making up for lost time. I am used to the Catholic priests that do that monosyllabic thing that makes you want to snore. This Sunday past, he started Mass with a joke about the unpredicted snow we had experienced. He said "Hey, how about that snow we had! Was it unpredicted or what? Yea, I thought it was kind of flakey too....if you get my drift" And the rest of the Mass went from there. I am feeling very "pulled" toward this church. And at this point in time, I don't think it would matter if it were Baptist, Catholic or Pentacostal. Well, I don't do skirts, so maybe the latter of that trio wouldn't do, but you get my drift. And my kids asked me Sunday when they could become Catholics?!

Lizzie was sick again last week, with some sort of stomach flu that has been circulating since Christmas. I missed MORE work, but that's ok. I shall survive (remember that Abbott nose syndrome I have).

I am making homemade chili for dinner, and it smells like it's about done so I best close up for now. Mom - don't faint, I updated!

Wishful thinking....

2004-12-15T05:42:00.000-06:00

Ever wish your year would just be over so you could start fresh? I’m so hoping that 2005 goes a little smoother than 2004 did. Between Sam in the hospital, Mom in the hospital, Lizzie in the hospital TWICE, Sam breaking his arm, my two broken teeth, Robbie’s tooth issue, Lizzie’s teeth issues, the lumps in my armpit and my high blood pressure (no wonder?), I’m just ready to go relax for a while. Unless my legs are falling off with gangrene or I’ve suddenly developed amoebic dysentery, I am going to refuse to go to the doctor/dentist/hospital for quite some time. I’m on a first name basis with the nurses in the pediatric ward at St. Johns. They know us by sight.

I am not ready for Christmas, though. I have shopping to do and I don’t want to do it. Its hard trying to figure out what everyone wants. On top of that, I have to finish the calendars still. Last year, I already had them done, printed and bound by now. I’ll get them done, eventually. I am queen of procrastinators. I think I’ll make a New Year resolution to just be the joker on that royal court instead of the queen. But, that’s a long shot and I’ll probably break it by January 2nd.

Because of all the medical mayhem, I’ve had to miss a lot of work and without pay since I ran out of vacation days back when mom was in the hospital. Robbie has not taken a vacation this year at all, so he cashed in his vacation time for money to pay the airfare for the boys to come visit. But, since I missed so much work, we’ve had to use that money for living expenses and bills and we were going to have to forego this year’s trip. ALAS – Aunt Rose to the rescue once again. She’s offered to pay for $400 of the $540 trip and all we had to come up with is $140. And of course, Chris to the rescue too – she’s started a $140 fund to help defer those costs as well. Can you believe the generosity and compassion of my friends and family? If it weren’t for them, I’d be dead, homeless or completely psycho. As it is, I’m just a little crazy, but at least I’m not alone.
My parents came to visit last weekend. Well, not really to visit, we had a power outage in a portion of our house and Dad and Robbie were trying to figure out what was wrong. Turned out it was a broken wire outside, but this was only found out after 2 days without most power. They said they’d never seen my house so messy – my dad wrote his name in the dust on my table, I called him the next day to make him proud – I DUSTED. My mom told me my plants needed water, they were drooping, and I called her the next day to make her proud – I WATERED! My mom also told me I needed to dust my ceiling fans, I told her the next day I CLEANED THE FANS! She also told me I needed to update my blog once in a while, so here it is mom, to make you proude, I UPDATED! (Don’t faint)

No - don't faint

2004-11-22T22:34:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm updating again. It's been a fanatic / General Hospital / These are the Days of Our Lives kind of week / month / year. Lizzie went in the hospital - oh - some two weeks ago. For a week, Sam broke his arm, I have a lump under my armpit that turns out to be more than one lump and I'm still awaiting the results. I told you, it's freakin' General Hospital man.

I've started work on the 2005 Calendar, a tradition I've started with our family. That is their Christmad presents. And actually, it's quite fun and they love it.

On top of all this medical bullshit I seem to be acquiring, I broke the front half of my tooth off tonight eating a FRENCH FRY. So God was striking me down man. He say - Catrina - I tol' you, yo' belly too big to be eatin' french fries. Therefo' - Ima takin haf yo tooth. Krammit.

Ok, I'm going to bed. I thought it would be good to update. If I put in here everything that was goin on in my life, they would no longer call it a blog. It would be something similar to the intern's diary.

What funny picture are you?

2004-10-21T22:21:00.000-05:00

What funny picture are you? Great, I'm a psycho kitty.

Killer kitty, oh yeah!

What Funny Picture are YOU? (really hilarious pics)
brought to you by

Nope - I didn't fall in

2004-10-21T22:06:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it? I am updating. I can't believe it's been a month. Time flies when you don't know what you are doing. What has happened in this past month? Got a new office manager at the office. Kind of upsetting in a way because I became really attached to the old office manager. Not that she went anywhere, she is still employed there, I am just still pretty upset for her. If I were her, I would feel so betrayed. Maybe it is for the better of the office, as it's been said to her, but, like I said, if it were me...

Hmmm, what else. Got the kids new school pictures, will definitely have to post them. Cardinals are almost in the World Series. I am not watching/listening to the games these days because I am very superstitious when it comes to baseball and I realized that every game I listened to or watched, they lost. Therefore, I have been banned from the games. I will ask every now and again for updates. Last night I was in Wal-Mart while the game was on and every now and again I strolled by the car radio section where the game was on. Of course, I made myself leave so they could go ahead and win and they did. I am even wearing my "rally band" inside out. I told you - I am superstitious about baseball. Try anything to get out of a slump and never, never mess with a winning streak. I just got the final update and WE ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWW!!! GO CARDINALS GO CARDINALS!!!! Awesome. Gotta go now. This time, it's for baseball you've been pre-empted for.

Hello

2004-09-22T20:49:00.000-05:00

Today, besides being the first day of fall, is also National Elephant Appreciation day. Those of you who know me understand what a day set aside specifically for the appreciation of elephants means to me. I just tried about 17 times to paste a copy of a most cool picture I found of an elephant, but....alas....it did not work. My house is overrun with elephant statues. I can't explain the infatuation with them, I just love them. And I have lots. My very first elephant is sitting directly behind me as I type, he is about 2 feet high, he has leather tusks and he's very furry. He hails as "Basil Rathbone". That is his name, and yes, he is named after the first Sherlock Holmes actor. Therefore, in my little spectrum of the world, most of my friends and I refer to elephants as "Basil's". By the way, Basil also wears a pampers diaper with a hole cut for his tail and a Jack Daniels T-shirt. He has worn this same outfit since 1988. And that is not an exaggeration. So you can understand the importance of a National Elephant Appreciation day to me.

My "Korean Piece of Shit" car bit the royal dust on Monday while I was taking the kids to school. Luckily, Stef, my sister, was on her way to take Jacob to school and saw me sitting on the side of the road. She went ahead and took Sam and Liz to daycare so they could catch their busses while I limped the little Korean bastard home. I took it to a car fixer upper place that she knew, and oh my holy mother of old milk cow god. I think I forgot what it was like to drive a car that, like, actually....ran? I squealed the tires at every stop sign on the way home yesterday with it because I had literally spent the last 40,000 miles giving it so much gas to get it to go, I had to relearn how to drive the little bugger. I drove 85 miles the entire way to work this morning. (Which by the way I drive at least 45 miles one way to work) just because I could. I am so excited to drive a car that goes. I couldn't wait to get off work today. Not because I couldn't wait to get home (well that too), but because I couldn't wait to drive my car. Dude, man, like, I may actually wash it or something. Dang, we're having another one of those hold your socks on moments, aren't we?

Speaking of that, I am typing upon my new desk. I tried taking pictures of it but they didn't turn out so hot so you just have to take my word for it that it is spectacular.

Ok...I am going to bed now. Once again, the pillow reigns supreme. Actually, I think I have another piece of Blackberry pie in my refrigerator so I'm making up excuses to go upstairs. G'nite, blog. This time....it's white flaky flour crust baked into blackberry splendor that you've been pre-empted for. Don't feel bad, it could be worse. It could be...chocolate. UCKEY

2004-09-18T01:12:00.000-05:00

Quizzes

2004-09-17T23:55:00.000-05:00

I love these quiz things you can paste into your blog. You're right, Michelle, these are fun. So, how is it I'm tequila? Dunno, but I know I like to drink it. My desk is finished. Although I've added to it in the last few days so Robbie's work is not done yet. He hates it when I say "You know what I would really like?....."

Tomorrow is Connors birthday. I have to remember to call him.

Right now, gotta say Mr. Blog, I'm sportin' a real nice buzz. Miller Lite loves me. And it's tastin' great with less filling. Dang dude, I'm a walking commercial. I think I should be their spokesperson.

ok, my pillow is once again screamin my name. Or maybe that's the Miller Lite saying get your butt to bed. Doesn't matter, I'm going. G'nite. This time you've be pre-empted for a healthy REM pattern.

2004-09-17T23:54:00.001-05:00

Congratulations!! You're a shot of some good old
hard liquor!

What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What kind of freaky mom are you? Quiz

2004-09-11T09:38:00.000-05:00

You're a punk rock mommy! DIY is probably your
motto, because you're a punk mama at heart.
Your kids are getting your independent spirit
and guts, and learning to solve problems
themselves. You love it when they show their
independence, even when it's breaking your
heart.

What kind of a freaky mother are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Who is your sexy inner cartoon chic?

2004-09-09T21:14:00.000-05:00

I took this sexy inner cartoon chic quiz and here are my results. Those of you who read this and take the quiz, use the "comments" to let me know your results!!! I'm Jessica Rabbit.

Jessica Rabbit

Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
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My own favorite personal quote has always been "When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better!" -Mae West