Hello...is there anybody out there? -Pink Floyd

8/19/2015 01:56:00 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
Wow.  Six years. Six years have passed since I last blogged. How my life has changed is beyond comprehension. I would say a lot of bad days but still a lot of good. God reigns supreme and I trust Him with every fiber of my being. Though its been sad, I have joy in my storms and I am closer to God than I ever have been so I will continue to trust Him and remember, trials of this life are His blessings in disguise.

I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore and that's ok. I'm not sure if I will update again in the next 6 years. For now, here it is.

Today, I feel reminiscent and sad. We close on my mom and dad's house tomorrow.  Dad passed away in 2011 and mom this past September. Every memory I have of my entire childhood revolves around that split-level, white house and though I know it's just a "thing" of this world, I am heartbroken to realize what the selling of it represents.  I know I will see them again up yonder and we will spend eternity having hootenannies around a campfire listening to mom and dad sing 'Late last night when I got home...' but right now, today, here... I miss them so much my heart physically hurts. You never just "get over it". You learn to walk through life without them by your side.  Tomorrow, I will be an emotional mess and I guess this blog is me preparing and coping with that fact.

I miss you, Mom and Dad.  Save a lawnchair for me around that fire ring. I'll be there when my time here is done and there will be one heckuva family reunion.

I'm just a country girl...a country girl at heart!

7/15/2009 10:49:00 PM Posted In Edit This 3 Comments »
SO since I've moved up here to the country, Stef, myself and another neighbor has planted a 10,000 square foot garden. Cannot remember at this point if I've blogged on that before since it's been so long so I've posted anything and the posts I've done are few and far between.

Anyway, we've been nurturing our garden: weeding, tending, staking tomatoes, keeping the critters out, using Epsom Salts around the plants, etc. We've planted: tomatoes, beans, sugar snap peas, regular peas, potatoes, corn, watermelon, zucchini, cucumbers, cantaloupe, green peppers, jalapeno peppers, banana peppers, broccoli, cabbage, radishes, three different types of lettuce, onions, different types of herbs, sunflowers...I'm sure there is more but it's hard to remember it all. We're hoping to put in some pumpkins soon for Halloween, too! Most of it we started from seed and it has been an amazing experience so far.
We are finally starting to see the fruits of our labor. Just Monday Stef picked 18 cucumbers! 1-8! And there is much more to come. Holy Crapinettly! We have 44 tomato plants that are going wild - some of our green tomatoes are too big for me to wrap one hand around! - and pretty soon, we will be having tomatoes coming out of everywhere. We've gotten alot of peppers, alot of peas (both regular and sugar snap) and several big baskets of green beans.

Yesterday was the first harvest of the corn and altogether, we pulled out about 340 ears of corn! Stef, Jacob, Nathan, Matthew and me all helped pick. I nearly peed in my pants laughing and Nathan and Jacob - they are so funny. Nathan's decided he will not be coming home on the day of the next harvest and he doesn't quite understand why we need "so much friggin' corn!" It was quite fun. We then divided it among the three families, so I walked away with about 110 ears. Matthew has been having as much fun with this as I have. (Last night we formed a band on Rockband and we named ourselves: CornChuckers) While I was at work today, Matt shucked all of it and cleaned it all! What a great guy! Tonight, we blanched it so we could freeze it for the winter and I took pictures of our whole process. The only pictures I didn't get was the HUGE pile of unshucked ears but, as you can plainly see, we had fun and it almost looked like we knew what we were doing. I'm actually quite proud of myself - this is the first project like this I've actually undertaken all on my own. I'm usually over helping Stef so this is a great source of pride for me...
Here's the shucked corn ready to be blanched and frozen!
And the boiling process...9 minutes in boiling water
Then 9 minutes in ice water
Then out to dry
Then bag it up, we did 6 - 8 ears per bag.
I got those baggies and the thing you can use to suck all the air out. It was fun, the kids all took turns sucking air out of the baggies :)
Our amazing pile of 14 bags of corn!
The boys playing Vanna White with the corn.
The freezer before (Yep, it needs to be wiped out)...
The freezer after...


6/12/2009 09:53:00 AM Posted In Edit This 2 Comments »
I am feeling the need to share two things today so bear with me as I get some stuff off my chest.

It seems lately my spiritual life has been in a rut. On hold. Stuck in a pothole. Caught in a spiritual winter. However you want to describe it. I have glimpses of the top of the hole and feel like kilroy peeking over the side but somehow I always end up back in the bottom of it. I just feel like I’m totally missing something. And I feel like I’m skimping out on God. I am not sure anymore that even those around me know how “spiritual” (for lack of a better word), faith-filled or God-fearing I really am inside. So Randy, my wonderful, inspirational, motivating brother, and I made a pact a few weeks back. We were talking of this holding pattern and he said - just wait, it’s coming. You are going to have a Halleluiah! Moment and when you do, just text me with the word Halleluiah!

I texted Randy this morning.

I’m reading a new book, Crazy Love. It is actually my boss’s book and it’s on CD so I'm really listening to it. I’m only on the second chapter but it’s already made a big impact. In reading it, I think I’ve realized what the heck my problem is and it’s going to be really, really hard to actually say it out loud (or type it even). But I’m going to try because I want this part of the post to be for my brother to read. Of course, anybody else is more than welcome to read it, but I just need to “talk” to Randy about it and this is the best way I can do that right now without fear that I’ll chicken out or leave part of it out.

My faith has never wavered. I’ve always believed in a higher being and I gave my life to Christ in March of 1992. I have never regretted that decision. Ever. I have questioned Him, yelled at Him, loved Him, ignored Him, pushed Him away, cried out to Him, ignored Him, clung to Him, prayed to Him and hung on as tight as I could to Him. My life has had its problems since then but I thank God that I had Him in my life to carry me through those times. But it just seems like in the last few years something has been wrong. Seriously wrong. I don’t think I could put my finger on it until this morning. Ugh, so here it goes.

I was having a problem with this idea of “surrendering” to God or living only for Him - that this is what I was meant for or this is why I am here. I mean, really. C'Mon. I was having an issue with thinking God was so arrogant or self-centered as to say mankind was here to serve Him. And I was outraged at myself for thinking like that. Who am I to question Him or think He is arrogant and self-centered? And then I wanted to step aside in case a lightning bolt slammed down on me and fried my neurons (kidding). All jokes aside, I was TORN UP inside not understanding everything but still had this growing sense that God was awfully conceited to “think the world revolves around Him”.

This morning, listening to that book I realized….DUH. IT DOES, YOU DORK! And the author describes it in such a way that it was like that lightning bolt really did hit me in the head but it was a wake up call. And it is not conceited of Him to know that all living things are here to serve Him, He made us. He gave us life. Imagine - (this is my analogy) your 13 year old child living in the house you work so hard to pay for, eating the food you labor to put on the table for him, wearing the clothes you painstakingly picked out and paid for, playing with the games you lovingly gave him and he has the audacity to not appreciate any of it, but instead pushes you away and says whatever, I’ll do what I want. It’s like that with God. He made all of this, He made the world in which we live, He gave us the food we eat, He bestowed upon us all the gifts this universe has to offer and I have the audacity to not appreciate any of it but instead push Him away and say whatever, I’ll do what I want? Dude, I know you’re probably reading this thinking, “uhhh yeah? I knew this already” but I don’t think I “got that” until this morning. I understand now. I. understand. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my heart knowing that deep down I don’t think God is conceited, arrogant and self-centered anymore. It is truly, truly hard to even broadcast that I thought that for so long but I can’t move on without realizing that and realizing I was wrong…so very, very wrong.

As I said, I’m only on the second chapter so I’m hoping against hope I will have more Halleluiah! Moments, and soon. God is good and I feel like singing the Halleluiah Chorus at the top of my lungs, but I think I'll wait 'til the car ride home. I don't think my coworkers would appreciate that very much.

And my second thought I wanted to share….today is the start of one of my most favorite times of the year. I saw the first Fireworks tent of the season and (while listening to my book and having a Halleluiah! Moment) it dawned on me that I love summer and all that summer implies.

Have a great day!! Halleluiah! Halleluiah!....

It's about time...I know

5/20/2009 06:55:00 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
Holy Moses, it's been awhile. QUITE a while. I guess time flies when you don't know what you're doing. I would say "I've been busy" which is very much the truth but sounds so cliche that I'm not going to use it, especially since I'm sure there were some down times over the last two months that I could have sat down and blogged. Truth be known, when I did have time I either a) didn't want to. b)didn't even think about it. or c) I don't think there is a c, I just didn't want to or didn't think about it. Anyway, here I am. Finally updating. Hopefully I still have some readers.

Last time I blogged was about my swap, which was SO very much fun but I was sick. And to be honest, I am still not completely 100%. It took forever to even feel as good as I am now and I still have an awful, awful cough which is worse at night. It seems I'm back to normal for all but that. Well, normal is a term that has not always been used synonymously with my name, but for all intents and purposes, we'll use "normal" as we do "well". It's slow going but I'm getting there.

Matthew will be here Friday and is staying until August!! We are all so very excited. We're not sure if Drew will make it this year but we are hopeful.

Rob got laid off a few weeks ago but we are part of the lucky ones. And, of course, I don't think it's "luck" as much as it is "God's Plan". With our move and the amount of reduction in outgoing expenditures, and with Rob being a Union member, we are okay. I know my Landlord will probably not evict me if I'm late, and Rob will be getting unemployment, which if you are Union is alot different. He'll get regular unemployment plus a supplement from the Union Hall...so, with him not having to fill up his gas tank 2 1/2 times a week and not paying child support (at the moment, of course), we may actually come out even. I'm sure child support will kick back in once he goes back to work or once Matthew goes back to Arizona, but for now, it's a big break for us. And with as much time as he's put in, we will not lose our health insurance for over a year. Again, we are "lucky".

The good thing is...through all of this drama, and sickness, and craziness that is my life, I can honestly say there has not many times in my life that I have been happier. I'm just plain happy. Yep, I still hate my job. Yep, I still have problems but instead of worrying about all that could happen or has happened or will happen, I'm trusting that God has my back. And I'm cool with that. He's led us to it, He'll get us through it.

SO...hello blog. I am back. I hope it won't be forever until I post again but in the event that it takes a while, just know that I may be busy, or I may not want to, or I may not be thinking about it. :)


3/05/2009 04:47:00 PM Edit This 10 Comments »

I am SO excited! My favorite things partner Mindy from The Lady Bug Farm sent my package early and I got it today. I will tell you now, it could not have come at a better time. I am home sick today. I was absolutely positive I had pneumonia but I went to one of those new Walgreens Take Care Clinics and they said it was just an Upper Respiratory Infection. I still can't breathe and my temperature is 101.4 and I can't stop coughing, so at this point I don't care what it is, just fix it! So imagine how excited I got when I stumbled through the living room to find a package all for me on the stairs. I thought at first it was some speakers I ordered so I wasn't too excited until I saw it wasn't from the speaker place. If I'd felt better I'd have strutted back through the house doing Sam's oonce oonce dance. As it was, I grabbed my box and headed back to my sickroom (my bedroom) and delved in!
A peek inside the box...A note from Mindy on a DAISY! My very favorite flower....and then I realized she'd made the card AND taken the photo of the daisy! A CD of Mamma Mia! I have yet to see the movie but I will be listening to this soon! I love ABBA!Apparently, Mindy also loves purses, totes, bags and wallets. Isn't this little bag an absolute gem?
And a journal! I used to journal (manually) a long time ago, but haven't done so since the inception of my blog so I'm excited to start writing in it!

I think these are my favorite! LOOK at these cards!!! She MADE them! They are absolutely beautiful, and the photos are all hers, too! Mindy - I just moved into a new home and I'm actually thinking of framing these and putting them on my wall! And a book! Another "favorite" thing we have in common. I can't wait to start reading this one.

As we speak (or as I type), my treasures are covering the bed and I am so excited. Mindy and I share alot of favorite things...I just hope she enjoys the things I sent her as much as I am enjoying what she sent me! Mindy - let me know when you get it! It should be to you tomorrow!!

And for those of you that are wondering where I've been since I haven't blogged in a month, I'm digging out of a mountain of boxes after our move. So in other words, I've been "nesting". To say I love it here would be a gross understatement. I have completely unpacked my kitchen stuff and I still have 4 empty cabinets! And it's so QUIET. Especially at night. I'm not being jarred awake at 3am by screaming in the street anymore....photos to come, I promise. But for now, y'all...I'm off to my sickbed.

Stalker, Stalkee

2/09/2009 11:43:00 PM Posted In , , Edit This 2 Comments »
So it's late and I'm sitting here wanting to blog something but not really sure of what I want to say. Funny thing though, as I got on to see if anyone had commented I found out 1) I have a new follower...YAY!!! Not only do I stalk but I love to be stalked also! Welcome Stacy! No wait, not that you are a stalker but I love to be read 2) I really love all the songs on my playlist. Just in case you didn't know, each song was hand selected by me as a song that truly has significance to me, whether it's that it brings back a memory, I can play it or its just poignant to me. I love LOVE music so this little playlist you hear as you read my blog is actually a little piece of my heart. If you ever want to know what one of the songs mean to me or why it was included, just ask me. Maybe someday I'll just make a list of each one with an explanation. Who knows.

Also, gotta tell you just in case I hadn't announced it to the everyone, my mom's biopsy results came back negative. AMEN! We were concerned she was having a recurrence of breast cancer in a different form (Paget's) but it turns out it is nothing and I cannot even begin to type how very very much I am relieved. It took over two weeks to get the results, with several phone calls from me to the doctors office, to mom, back to the doctors office, to my sisters, to the doctors office, to mom....but we got them.

Ok, I'm off. Quick update for you and a resurrection of the smile list
1. Good music
2. The end of a Monday
3. Connecting with old friends
4. Making new friends
5. Happy children

My ME Interview

2/05/2009 11:39:00 AM Edit This 2 Comments »
In my own mind, I imagine folks dropping in on my blog and reading with great enthusiasm - my witty comments and great writing ability – I know I know, keep dreaming. I think in reality I just have a handful of readers (one is my mother and two are my sisters so reading my blog for them is a pre-requisite). I LOVE to read about other people, though. I’m sure by now you all realize I’m a closet blog stalker. I have a few blogs I read every day. Every once in a while I will elude to something I read on one or something that really caught my attention. Recently, I’ve actually come out of the closet on some – either on purpose or through friends and it’s actually quite liberating!

In the middle of these that I follow relentlessly is AbFab Geek (speaking of witty comments and great writing ability!) Her link is on my blogroll and I love to read about her little family of geeks. (Sidebar: Mrs. Geek, I need to know the painter that created the GREAT murals on middle geek's wall! Can he create a Arizona Cardinals Logo for me??) Anyway, she did a ME interview on her blog and I decided I wanted to do one too. She e-mailed me my questions yesterday – so here you have it. My ME interview - going back to that all-in-my-head theory that I have thousands of silent blog stalkers of my own that want to know more.

1. What made you decide to come out of the stalker closet?
I actually have wanted to comment many times since she and I are technically business neighbors and she’s right across the parking lot from my work but just never did. The ME interview looked fun and I thought, what the heck. I’ll become an unconcealed follower.

2. Is your brother still ministering to the homeless, if so tell me the most interesting part of it.
Yes, Randy is still ministering to the homeless. His website, www.misfitsforjesus.com is a great source of information of his ministry. The most interesting part of it, for me, is to see how it has changed Randy. He has a gift for helping these folks. He truly is a very special man and his heart reaches out to these lost souls but I think it mends the broken parts of his own soul. If that makes any sense at all.

3. What was the first car you owned and did you sell it or total it?
My first car was given to me by my sister, Stef. It was a red 1980 Pontiac Sunbird and I LOVED THAT CAR. When I left for college, I gave it back to Stef who in turn sold it, I think. Mom wouldn’t allow me to take it to college with me.

4. What do you own that you have had since childhood and why have you kept it?
The thing that means the most is a plaque with the Serenity Prayer on it. I think the story is that my Grammy gave it to me and when my niece was born, I gave it to her to be hung in her room. When she died, Stef gave it back to me and it sits on my bedside table so I always remember to: Ask God for the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I also have a little pink bunny (about 2 inches tall) that I got for Easter when I was probably 8 or 9. Randy named it Jeffro and I can’t really say why I’ve kept it. I just love little Jeffro, I guess.

5. What is the worst job you have ever had and why?
Gosh. I’ve had so many. I worked at Papa Johns for 4 hours. That in itself has to be some sort of record. The worst was KFC. I worked there for 4 days, I think. I HATE TO PEEL POTATOES. I.hate.it. On my fourth day there, they brought me 50 pounds of potatoes to peel. UGH. So I peeled them, begrudgingly of course, thinking I can do this, I can do this… I got them all done and they brought me in another 50 pounds. I quit.

There you have it. My ME interview!

If you want to participate, these are the rules:
1. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment that says "Interview me".
2. I will respond by emailing you 5 questions (I get to choose the questions). Make sure you leave me your e-mail address.
3. Update your blog with the answers to the questions and let me know when you have posted it.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When other comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.